Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras. if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.
PARASITE
WRITERS: Alan J. Adler, Michael Shoob, and Frank Levering
DIRECTOR: Charles Band
STARRING: Robert Glaudini as Dr. Paul Dean
Demi Moore as Patricia Welles
Luca Bercovici as Ricus
James Davidson as Merchant
Al Fann as Collins
Tom Villard as Zeke
Miss Vivian Blaine as Elizabeth Daley
QUICK CUT: In the far flung future, a man just wants to find a place to sit and get over this bug he caught.
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DOCTOR MORDRID
WRITER: Screenplay by C. Courtney Joyner
DIRECTORS: Albert Band and Charles Band
STARRING: Jeffrey Combs as Doctor Anton Mordrid
Yvette Nipar as Samantha Hunt
Jay Acovone as Tony Gaudio
Keith Coulouris as Adrian
Ritch Brinkley as Gunner
Brian Thompson as Kabal
QUICK CUT: Can't wait for Doctor Strange this weekend? Then you should sit back and watch Doctor Mordrid in the meantime.
What is the 200th movie being reviewed for Triskaidekafiles? It is part a series that has Cursed my very existence since this website began. It got so bad that it felt like it was personally seeking Revenge upon me. I stepped away from the series for awhile, but now it is time to go Retro with Trisk #200. This, this shall be my Legacy.
Read MoreCRASH AND BURN
WRITER: Screenplay by J.S. Cardone
DIRECTOR: Charles Band
STARRING: Paul Ganus as Tyson Keen
Megan Ward as Arren
Bill Moseley as Quinn
Eva Larue as Parice
Jack McGee as Winston Wickett
Elizabeth MacLellan as Sandra
Katherine Armstrong as Christie
Ralph Waite as Lathan Hooks
QUICK CUT: A group of people band together to weather out a storm and make some television, while playing with robot toys.
Read MoreTHE CREEPS
WRITER: Benjamin Carr
DIRECTOR: Charles Band
STARRING: Rhonda Griffin as Anna Quarrels
Justin Lauer as David Raleigh
Bill Moynihan as Winston Berber
Kristin Norton as Miss Christina
Jon Simanton as Wolfman
Joe Smith as Mummy
Thomas Wellington as Frankenstein's Monster
Phil Fondacaro as Dracula
QUICK CUT: The classic monsters of our nightmares have been brought to life! Dracula! Frankenstein's Monster! The Mummy! The Wolfman!! Our only hope at stopping them is a librarian and a private eye slash DVD store clerk! Oh, and also, the monsters have been brought to life at one third their actual size. ...Oi.
Read MoreKILLJOY 2 (2002)
WRITER: Douglass Snauffer
Tammi Sutton
DIRECTOR: Tammi Sutton
STARRING: Charles Austin as Nic
Olimpia Fernandez as Charlotte
Debbie Rochon as Denise Martinez
Logan Alexander as Harris Redding
Jermaine Cheeseborough as Eddie
Nicole Pulliam as Ce-Ce
Rhonda Claerbaut as Kadja
Choice Skinner as Ray Ray
Trent Haaga as Killjoy
QUICK CUT: The clown prince of Hell is back, eventually, to kill more people, and this time he's doing it in the middle of the woods.
Read MoreTOTEM
WRITERS: Original story by Charles Band
Written by Benjamin Carr
DIRECTOR: Martin Tate
STARRING: Jason Faunt as Paul
Marissa Tait as Alma
Eric W. Edwards as Len
Tyler Anderson as Robert
Sacha Spencer as Roz
Alicia Lagano as Tina
QUICK CUT: A group of people find themselves at a mysterious cabin in the woods, trapped by a mysterious forcefield, and mysteriously forced to mysteriously kill each other for mysterious reasons and in a mysterious order. Oh, and also, mysteriously enough, this is not the movie you're thinking of.
Read MoreBLOOD DOLLS
WRITER: Charles Band
DIRECTOR: Charles Band
STARRING:
Jack Maturin as Virgil Travis
Debra Mayer as Moira Yulin
William Paul Burns as Mascaro
Warren Draper as Harrison Yulin
Nicholas Worth as George Warbeck
Jodie Coady as Mercy Shaw
Phil Fondacaro as Hylas
Naomi McClure as Cindy Agami
Jason Pace as Howard Loftus
Venesa Talor as Cotton Baby
Yvette Lera as Razor Baby
Persia White as Black Baby
QUICK CUT: After a failed attempt at ruining reclusive and eccentric businessman Virgil Travis, the man takes it upon himself to seek revenge. With living, killer dolls. As one does.
Read MoreBAD CHANNELS
WRITER: Screenplay by Jackson Barr
DIRECTOR: Ted Nicolaou
STARRING: Paul Hipp as Dan O'Dare
Martha Quinn as Lisa Cummings
Aaron Lustig as Vernon Locknut
Michael Huddleston as Corky
Victor Rogers as Sheriff Earl Hickman
Charlie Spradling as Cookie
Melissa Behr as Nurse Ginger
Daryl Strauss as Bunny
Roumel Reaux as Flip Humble
QUICK CUT: A local radio station is upgrading to a nationwide broadcast over station 66, on the same night that it just so happens to be overtaken by an alien looking to abduct a couple girls. Hey, it happens!
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ROBOT WARS
WRITERS: Based on an original idea by Charles Band
Screenplay by Jackson Barr
DIRECTOR: Albert Band
STARRING: Don Michael Paul as Drake
Barbara Crampton as Leda
James Staley as Stumpy
Lisa Rinna as Annie
Danny Kamekona as Wa-Lee
Yuji Okumoto as Chou-Sing
Peter Haskell as Rooney
QUICK CUT: In another future that is vaguely similar to Robot Jox, but NOT THE SAME AT ALL, the last remaining mega robot is all that stands between the North Hemi nation being taken over by the Centros and the Eastern Alliance. Brace yourselves for a lot of futurey sounding locations!
TERRORVISION
WRITER: Ted Nicolau
DIRECTOR: Ted Nicolau
STARRING: Diane Franklin as Suzy
Gerrit Graham as Stan
Mary Woronov as Raquel
Chad Allen as Sherman
Jonathan Gries as OD
Jennifer Richards as Medusa
Alejandro Rey as Spiro
Bert Remsen as Grampa
Randi Brooks as Cherry
QUICK CUT: After tinkering around with their new satellite dish, the Puttermans get paid a visit from an outer space trash monster, accidentally sent across the stars by a cosmic disposal gone horribly wrong.
ROBOT JOX
WRITERS: Story by Stuart Gordon
Screenplay by Joe Haldeman
DIRECTOR: Stuart Gordon
STARRING: Gary Graham as Achilles
Anne-Marie Johnson as Athena
Paul Koslo as Alexander
Robert Sampson as Commissioner Jameson
Danny Kamekona as Dr. Matsumoto
Hilary Mason as Professor LaPlace
Michael Alldredge as Tex
QUICK CUT: In the near future, after the world has beend devastated by nuclear war, conflicts are resolved by one on one gladiatorial combat. With uh, giant piloted robots. Because that's a thing.