Triskaidekafiles

Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

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It's a Yule Tide!!

It's December!

And this December, Trisk brings y'all something I have wanted to do since the very beginning.

SILENT MONTH!  DEADLY MONTH!!

All December long, we will look at Every Single Movie in the Silent Night, Deadly Night series.  In fact, the killer Santa has even taken over our background image!  It's a long, cold month ahead, with a lot of blood, a lot of bad acting, and a lot of Claus and effect.

Here's the schedule for December:

Silent Night 1 - Later today!

Silent Night 2 - December 7th.

Silent Night 3 - December 13th.

Silent Night 4 - December 19th.

Silent Night 5 - December 25th.

Hope you have a bloody good Christmas!

J

Bloody Birthday Part 2

Wow.  I'm still surprised this site is still going two years in.  We didn't quite have the growth I would have hoped for over year two, but there was some slight growth.  And hey, staying steady is nothing to sneeze at, either.  The last few months have been terribly slow, but no great dips either, so...

There have been a good bunch of movies over year two, and I liked introducing the 'Sci-files' subset of reviews where I take a look at bad scifi movies.  I won't mix those in too often, but they do break things up, and it's a thin line sometimes.  Brain Machine was probably not the best example of a bad scifi movie to start with, but I stumbled into that as a last minute choice, and I stand by what I post.  Some things will stick, others won't.

It was unintentional, but I did notice that the review I just posted for the 1950s version of The Thing, is also Trisk' 50th review.  So many milestones!  It is also the first B&W film, which I am sure will pop up more and more, since those 50s B-movies are great for badness.

Why did I pick The Thing?  Well, the obvious reason is a remake/prequel hitting theatres tomorrow.  If I notice a good excuse to show off a classic beside the new, I am going to take it.  I am cautiously optimistic for Thing 2011, although I see ways it could go badly.  Here's hoping!  But also with our 50th, anniversary review, it gave me a good excuse to review a classic of the genre, and introduce B&W movies, so things all came together well for a fun review.  I was actually surprised at how solid the original was.

I have some big plans for year three, and some really fun stuff for the next birthday.  I've planned out some crazy stuff, and have year three almost completely mapped out.  I'm still trying to decide what to do in December, but here's a tease; I may be crazy, and I may review five movies for the month.  I'm still debating that, but it would be wild to do so.

There's also a What I'm Watching post waiting in the wings, which I've been sitting on as the fall season premiers wrap up.  I was going to post it last week, but was under the weather, and it made sense to save it for a little longer until I was clear headed, and it made sense to wait for the last few premiers to hit.  Give me another week!

And of course, Halloween is right around the corner, and the movie I've got planned for the 26th is both a trick and a treat.

So yeah, year two was awesome, the site grew in style and views, we got seen by a director of some of our reviews, which was insanely crazy cool.  We introduced new styles of movies to review, but didn't lose sight of our bread and butter.  I've drifted a little from the classic bad 80s horror, but don't worry, I have not forgotten those, and will be focusing there for awhile.  I spent maybe too much time in the 21st century during year two, and I'm aware of that.  Trisk will always have a few more recent movies for review, but the 80s are our home, and it is long past time to get back there.  But how could I not review those two Ripper movies when I saw them?  Holy crap.

Thanks everyone for viewing the site over not just this past year, but since the beginning.  You are still so special to this site, and without you guys, I'd just be shouting into the internet.  I hope to hear more from the fans.  Let me know what bad movies you want me to see, comment on the reviews and tell me what you like.  Make yourselves heard.  We're a community, and I want to know what is on your minds as much as you're seeing what's on mine.  I still know you're out there, so say hi!

Trisk goes into the future, while looking to the past!

So with that, it is official.  Year three is GO! Whoosh!

J

What I'm Watching: Late June, 2011

Hello, horrorheads!  Happy summer!  Anyone up for a trip to camp?  How's Crystal Lake this time of year?

Anywho, before diving into what images flicker in front of my eyes, I did want to direct everyone's attention to the Movie Cover Gallery which has a minor, but significant change.  I split out movies for 2009-2010, and a seperate page for 2011 as I mentioned earlier.  But as I kept looking at the pages, something felt wrong, and it felt strange to visit the 2009-2010 movies first.  So, I flopped the pages around, and when you visit the MCG now, the first movies that come up are the current year's fare, and the pre-2011 movies are now archied to a seperate page.  Chronological made sense, but moving the older movies to a seperate page made just that hair more sense to me.  Your mileage may vary, but it's not difficult to find any movie on those two pages.

But onto the watching part of this post.  First up was something that slipped my mind last time, the new Teen Wolf show.  Forgetting it did give me a chance to watch a few more episodes, and I wish I had tonight's newest episode to watch as well, but I guess that will have to wait.  Still, a few episodes in and I am formulating an opinion.  And that opinion is a resounding Meh!  They took everything you knew and loved about the classic movie and tossed it right out the window.  I'm surprised there's even a werewolf in this movie.  The humour is gone, the family curse is gone.  About the only things that DO remain are a wolf who is a teen.  It is so dark, so brooding, and just so, so meh!  I have no other word for it.  The characters are whiny, and making the show like every other werewolf story, where a guy gets bit and has to deal, makes it JUST ANOTHER WEREWOLF STORY.  There is nothing special here.  SO disappointing.  It's ok, but so nothing special.  And it's barely ok.  Maybe I just don't get the show, but it's just so bland and unoriginal.  I have hope that it's just growing pains, and they find their voice, but those hopes are low.

Speaking of werewolves, I also watched the big screen horrory reimagining of Red Riding Hood.  And even if I didn't know this was from the director of the first Twilight film?  I'd be able to tell.  It has that same clean, sterile style, and the haaaair.  Where did people in medieval times find so much product to slick their hair up into points like that?  The world looks very fake, very set-like, and way too storybook.  Which almost works for the story, considering the subject matter, but it pushes things a little too far, and almost feels like a play.  Look of the movie aside...this isn't bad.  The story is solid, well thought out, has some interesting twists, and makes sense.  The acting is solid, and Gary Oldman, as always, is a blast.  There's problems to be sure, but the movie doesn't deserve the bashing it got, I think.  It's fun, and an interesting take on the story everyone knows.  I did hate how they brought in the, "My, what big ____ you have" stuff.  That was WAY too forced, and I don't think we really needed it, other than to say, "See!  See!  RED RIDING HOOD!  In case you missed the title!  And the red hood!"  But that aside, it's worth seeing if you've got some time to kill and it comes on tv.  Not bad at all.

Another side thing that's what I'm watching, but not exactly that big of a thing, is MST3K.  I've mentioned, probably ad nauseum, that Mystery Science Theater 3000 is one of the grandfathers of Trisk, and a few weeks ago I was growing nostalgic, missing those Saturday or Sunday mornings where I'd curl up in my chair and watch the newest episode, and it hit me; duh, I have 20 volumes of DVDs.  I can recreate my weekly MST3K fix easily.  And so I did.  A month ago, I grabbed MST3K volume 1, and started from the start of that set, moving forward one episode a week, just like I originally saw a few years of the show.  Granted, this is far from all the episodes, and in no particular order, but order is unimportant.  Doing the show in order WOULD be fun to do someday, though.  As I'm watching, I'm also posting my thoughts on the episodes each week to my LiveJournal.  If you're so inclined, you can follow those posts right over here which links to the MST3K tag for my LJ, so all those specific posts will appear there.  I don't guarantee every episode I watch being talked about, but if I have something to say, I will.  Nothing major, nothing revelatory, but it might be of interest to some people.

And that's enough for now.  See you in a week for a new full review!

J

Bits and Pieces

Careful, don't step on the body parts.

Holding off on a full What I'm Watching post again, but thought I'd post about some recent updates and such.  In the meantime, you can read my thoughts on Sucker Punch over at my LJ.

I hope everyone enjoyed the more recent movies reviewed for Ripper month.  They were fun to watch and ramble on about.  I liked bringing something a little more recent to the mix.  Don't worry though, we're diving back into the 20th century this month, and staying there for awhile, I think.

You might also notice a little button on the sidebar over there --> that you've been seeing all over the internet.  Yes, we are now on Facebook.  Click the button and like us!  Validate my existence and this site!  You should also head directly over to Trisk's Facebook page to follow news on the site, and get into discussions with myself and other fans.  I really look forward to seeing people over there, so don't disappoint me!

And finally, be sure to check out new friend of the site, AndreToulon.com! I've added them to the Links page, and wanted to give them a shout out here as well.  They contacted me a little while ago, and as you can tell they're fans of the Puppet Master movies as well.  They're working on puppet replicas of our little friends, and are doing some great work.  Definitely worth checking out, and I am glad to send some traffic their way.

I also plan to update the languishing Movie Cover Gallery, so bug me about that over the next few weeks until it's done.

That is all for now, hope you like the little tweaks, and stay tuned for a new review in about a week!  See you in the theatres, and on the Facebook!

J

What I'm Watching: March, 2011

Hello, horrorheads!

I've noticed a weird jump in activity the last few days, and I'll be darned if I can figure out why!  But any of you out there reading these words, speak up!  Leave a comment!  Let us know how you found this site!  Let's chat.

Been pretty quiet for movies lately, but there's a few scattered things I've been piling up and watching in my spare time.

Finally grabbed and watched the complete set of the NBC series, Surface.  I tried watching it when it was first on, but it never really grabbed me.  Watching the whole thing now, I think I can see why.  It's a decent show, but a little too family friendly for me.  Many people compared it to classic Spielberg, and I can definitely see that comparrison now.  Which isn't a bad thing!  I love Spielberg!  It's just this show was pretty cutesy half the time.  But mostly worth watching if you get the chance.  The acting is good, and the story is a bit wandering though.  Shame there's no real conclusion, but the ride was ok.

Also took in the recently released MST3K volume 20 DVDs.  Shout! Factory once again puts out another solid set.  I've got nothing more to add to what I've already said about MST3K, just giving them another *ahem* shout-out.

I finally saw My Soul to Take, one of many movies I avoided in the theatres because it was in 3-D.  This movie was pretty much stomped all over by reviewers, that I saw.  Even the horror-friendly ones.  But you know what?  I liked it.  I thought the story was solid, with just enough twists and red herrings, and a lot of people slam it for no real setup, but I've watched the movie a few times, and they do mostly play fair with the mystery.  It has it's cheese, and while Wes Craven used to be quite adept at tapping into that high school voice, I think it's clear he's grown out of touch and doesn't quite know how kids today act and sound.  Even so, that's not terrible.  Watching this so close to Ripper, the styles of storytelling are so similar in their ideas, but vastly different in execution.  Soul succeeds on every level Ripper fails at.  Craven has done better, but it was an entertaining 90 minutes or so.

And last, and definitely least, is Birdemic. *shudder*  Birdemic.  A pox upon my soul.  I can't say enough bad things about this movie.  I can usually find something good to say, but this one, wow.  I am at a loss.  This is a brand new movie, and it makes me want to break my own rule about no movies after 2000.  It is THAT bad.  It needs to have the full Trisking, I think.  The movie is astoundingly awful.  Let me know what you guys think in the comments.  If I get enough response, I will rewatch and dissect the hell out of this turdemic.  For you, the readers.

That's all that's been keeping me busy lately.  Now, to get back to the next Rippertastic movie.  And you thought the first one was bad?

J

Things To Come

Hello, Philes!

No What I'm Watching post this week, saving up stuff for later in the month.  But I thought I'd post a quick state of the website post.

Don't worry, nothing major or bad, things are going along as planned, and we're still doing bad movies here.

Normally at Trisk, we look at movies before 2000.  There are a number of reasons for this, some of which can be guessed at, but mainly something shifted in the 21st century.  Part of it is the ease of CGI, part of it is the slow demise of home video.  There's still a direct to dvd market, but it isn't really the same as the 80s, is it?

That being said, the "Before 2000" rule is really more of a guideline.  I never want to touch on something TOO new, but sometimes, bad movies from recent years leap up, grab my face, and demand being reviewed.  And in such cases, if I feel they're worthy, I shall do so.

Which brings us to the March movies.  When I was researching the Ted Savini movie, "The Ripper" I came across a number of other Jack the Ripper movies, as I'm sure the readers can imagine.  I aquired two of them, part of a series even, and man are they bad.

So, March has been declared Ripper month.  And unlike previous theme months, I'm actually pulling this one off!  On the 13th, look for my review of Ripper: Letter from Hell, and on the 26th, keep your eyes peeled for Ripper 2: Letter from Within.  The first came out in 2000, and the latter in 2004, which I struggled with whether or not it should be given the full treatment.

But oh, do they deserve it.

Now, I just need to decide if Birdemic should be torn to pieces or not...

Seeya in the torture chamber,

J

What I'm Watching: Late October, 2010

Happy Halloween!

Before I dive into the movies and such I've been watching lately, just some quick notes on what's coming to Trisk in the near future.

For those that have been here for awhile, you will remember the very quiet November from last year, as I partook in the yearly NaNoWriMo writing competition, and this year will be the same.  But with one main difference, there WILL be a review, come hell or high water.  I also plan to still do a Watching post at the very least, so it won't be a total ghost town around here.  Look for our Thanksgiving review on the 15th, to split the month up nicely in half to bide time between now and December.  And there's still one more review going up before then.

After that, Trisk will be diving right into more Christmas movies, and that will take us through 2010.  I've got only a little inkling of 2011 movies to kick off January.  There is a number of films jumping up and down to be reviewed, so they definitely have my attention.

Over the past few weeks, I've watched a number of horror movies; one rather strange, and one pretty straightforward but really good.

The stranger of the two was the rather infamous Human Centipede.  It's the rather simple story of a mad scientist who captures some hapless people stranded on the road, and then does crazy experiments on them, but taken to the Nth degree.  There's nothing that special in the plot, and what really makes the movie stand out is the nature of the experiments.  The crazy Dr. Heiter sews three people together with their mouths connected to the preceeding person's ass and connects their digestive tracts.

Ew, right?

Personaly, I found the Hostel movies far more disturbing, but I can see why this would squick people out.  I still found it to be an interesting study of the few characters in it, and was intrigued to see just how it would turn out.  While I find it hard to recommend something so bizarre and disgusting to many, if you can stomach it and aren't downright turned off by the description alone, I do think it is at least worth seeing, just for the experience of having done so.  I'm not going to get into the medical accuracy, or the movie's claims thereof.  Why start now?  NONE of the movies here are accurate to any sort of reality.  Isn't that half the fun?

From the weird to the almost normal, comes Frozen.  I really, really liked this movie!  I am sold on Adam Green's work, and am definitely moving Hatchet up my list of movies I need to see right the hell now.  Some people will sit down and nitpick apart every last second of the movie, trying to come up with things the trio of characters could have done differently once they get stuck on an abandoned skilift one weekend, or plot holes, or the usual.  However, in my opinion, I feel the movie addressed most of the major potential stupid moments very well.  Most ideas people come up with actually wouldn't work as well as you would think upon first thought.

The strength of Frozen is in its characters.  The secret to all good horror movies.  If you care about the people about to die, then you're willing to buy 90% of anything a movie might throw at you.  Since this movie is three people on a chairlift and nothing else for 80 of it's 90 minute runtime, you absolutely need great characters, and Frozen delivers.  Especially with the casting of Emma Bell as Parker.  She is absolutely adorable, and just on sight alone, you want absolutely nothing bad to happen to this girl.

Your desires will be completely denied, as much happens to Parker.

The absolute best scene in the movie is centered around what the movie doesn't show you, as a brutal attack that many movies would go to for the blood and gore, is left completely out of our sight, and we only experience it through the faces and reactions of the other characters.  That was brilliant and sold me on the movie.

Oh, and the writer/director is from my neck of the woods, and includes a lot of references to the New England skiing culture, so I may be grading on a curve just for those things alone.

But seriously, I could go on and on about this movie, and would love to talk more about it with anyone who has seen it.  If you haven't, I definitely recommend that you do.

And the reason I've kept this post on delay for so long, I literally just walked in the door from Paranormal Activity 2.  I talked about the original back in January, and wanted to get around to my thoughts on this as well.

It's not as good as the first movie, I'd say.  Whereas the original knew just when to get to scaring you, I felt the second time around they spent a little too much time with the characters.  It was ok stuff, but just a hair too long, and I started squirming in my seat waiting for things to get going again.

That said, the scares do make up for it, and are pretty good.  Some of them outdo the first movie, some don't.  It was a really good ride though, and a must see for any fan of the original.  A lot of the events were a bit confounding to me with how they lined up with the first, how they could possibly coexist, but that was explained nicely by the end.

I could have easily set fire to the three young women sitting across the aisle from me though.  They would not shut up and kept giggling.  Some of the giggling was warranted, but argh.

My one complaint is barely even a thing.  It has nothing to do with the plot, and it was a joke that got made by the husband.  His wife is in the bath, and he makes a joke about joining her and how he will, "Release the Kraken!"  In a movie set in 2006.  Um...  Gotta love anachronisms.

That's all for now!  Next full review up soon, and I'll see you when the snow flies.

J

A Bloody Good Year

Hello horrorheads!

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY, TRISK!!

Holee crap.  I can not believe I am actually writing this.  A year ago today, our first review went up, Popcorn.

Wow, just wow.  To celebrate, I posted our epic 26th review today, Demons of Ludlow!  Total coincidence that we did #26 today, but isn't that awesome?  Gotta love synchronicity.  What makes this movie so special that it got the honour of being the one year in review?

Well, not much.  The biggest thing is that I hale from a town called Ludlow.  Or near enough.  I went to high school there, and those years are largely responsible for my love of horror movies, so why not do a movie set in the town?  Well, it isn't the SAME Ludlow, but close enough for horseshoes.

I discovered the movie completely at random.  I was going through a site that lists and briefly comments on a lot of our sort of movies, and almost breezed right past the title.  I paused, scrolled back, and stared.  How could I *not* review this movie?  I researched it, had the damnedest time trying to find it, and finally tracked down some printed on demand versions.  Before that though, I did a little more research, found someone talking about it, and I realised I had the pack of movies they got it from.  I ALREADY OWNED THE MOVIE.

Let me just say that I am not the sort of person to ignore Fate when she punches me in the face that hard.

So here we are a year later, and I am surprised.  I'm not the best at sticking with things, but somehow, this site...I've stuck with it this long, which is one of my personal bests.  I've got a few other things I've kept at as long or longer, but this is definitely in my top five.  I hope to keep doing it for years to come.  What is it about this site that keeps me around?  I don't know, and I don't care, but I am loving doing this.

Well, some days I look at the next movie to review, whimper, and go watch Supernatural instead, but I always get around to it when I need to do it.  Can you blame me for shivering at the thought of some of these movies?

What have been the high points and low points for me?  My favourite review is either Blood Freak or Corpse Grinders, the sequel.  These movies were SO bad, SO entertaining, and I just sat and stared bewildered at the screen for the entirety of them.  They are the worst movies I've ever seen, and the most entertaining.  They burn, but in the good way.  I never thought I would ever see a movie worse than Blood Freak, but the two CG movies came along.  May the day never come that tops them!

I come across new movies almost weekly while I'm wandering the internet.  I started out thinking I knew so much about bad horror movies, and have discovered how little I truly knew.  My education has only begun.  The discovery of these new and wonderful, and painful, gems.  And I have loved sharing these discoveries with everyone reading, as well as sharing the classics I already know.  Just wait until you see what the rest of 2010 has coming!

There have been days though, where I feel discouraged about the site though.  We have some slow growth.  It sometimes feels like I'm shouting into the darkness, and not a voice is out there hearing me.  I get the occasional response, but I want more.  I crave more.  I NEED MORE.  Speak up, folks!  I want to hear from you!  I want to know what you like and what you want.  Tell me what movies you loved to hate, and would like to see featured.  I did that for 976-Evil, for a friend.  Species as well, although I had them in the back of my mind.

Let's make our second year the year where we start interacting.  And don't just talk to me, talk to your friends!  Spread the word!

One thing kept me going, aside from too much free time and coffee, and I want to share that.

This is the graph I check frequently, detailing the channel's stats.  The dark green line is unique, monthly page hits, and the light grey line above is the total page views, counting every time a page is viewed, so if one person visits the site and looks at every review, that's one unique and a ton of views.  Or something.

Our first month had 73 visitors, and November ducked down to 50ish.  That's understandable as the first month got a lot of eyeballs as I jumped up and down screaming, "Looka me!"  Since then, the site has actually had some pretty steady growth, with two exceptions.  There was a *very* tiny dip in March.  No idea why.  July had a big drop, as far as things go, and I figure that was because I was sick for almost two weeks and neglected the site until the very last day.  But the next month things leapt back up and it was like there was no dip.  It's almost a straight line, without that drop, for whatever reason.

The first year ended with JUST short of 400 visitors, and I figure we'll break that this month, and continue to grow.  From 50 to 400, and that's not bad.  And should keep going up.  Fingers crossed.

Whenever I was down about the site, I'd look at that graph and know that people ARE coming here.  People ARE looking at the site.  And every month, more and more are coming.  The site isn't an instant hit, but we are growing, slowly but surely.  Seeing that kept me going.  I wasn't just raging against the night.

AND I THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.  This site is here for you.  Without my readers, I am nothing.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Keep reading, keep talking.  Trisk owes you for a decent, if quiet, first year.

Our first year is done, and there's been a lot of bodies left in our wake.  I am so happy to have made it this far, am still going, and I have no regrets starting this.  It was a good first year.

Let's make some noise in year two, people!

J

What I'm Watching: Early September, 2010

Hey, gang!

I've been busy the last few days, and wanted to pop in with what's been going on.

But first, I wanted to speak about a movie.

I finally got around to watching Pontypool.  I've been wanting to see this movie for ages, and it finally popped up on the DVR and I had the time to sit back and just enjoy in a nice, dark room.

This movie is so totally up my alley.  Lurking creatures, that trapped feeling, and a great use of language, both in the script and the device of the movie.  That first hour or so was simply amazing.  One of the best hours on film I have seen in a long time.  The character building, the tension, the slowly creeping dread, and all of it happening off screen, as we're stuck inside a small radio studio.  So well done, and I cannot praise it enough.  It even sounded amazing on my sound system.  I seriously just wanted to lean back, close my eyes and just listen.  It almost works as an audio drama, which makes sense for the setting, doesn't it?

But the last 15, 20 minutes or so left me a little baffled.  Things were moving too fast, the language of the movie was getting a bit too confusing, which was deliberate to a point.  Something about that final act just didn't quite click for me.  I don't hate it, I just don't quite GET it, you know?  They lost their focus somewhere along the way.  Which is a shame, since that first hour was SOO good, and have it just fall apart like that.

I would love it if my faithful readers would get a discussion going here about the movie, maybe we can hash it out.  Either here, or I think I'll make a post on the Triskaidekaforum.  This movie could so grow on me, and I definitely want to watch it again, just for that build up, and to pick it apart.  I really want to totally grok this movie, and just love it.  Pontypool is SO close to being a fave.

Aside from movies, I've also been busy with the site.  If you're reading this, then it would be very difficult to miss the changes.  I yanked the login link, since I'm the only one who needs that, and I don't need the link to login.  And since that was gone, it made sense to move the links up to the navigation banner.  I'm also toying with ditching the contact form since no one uses it, and maybe just move it to its own page linked in the banner.

Speaking of the banner, I moved that below the logo.  I've actually moved that back and forth, or up and down as it were.  I like the seperation of it being above the logo, but it also makes sense to have it below as well.  Any preferences?

The biggest change though, is the main page.  I was never comfortable with the Triska- definitions.  It was a cute idea that never quite worked for me, and felt too cold of a welcome to the site.  Now it's more personal, and describes the site better, I think.  I'm sure that page will change frequently as I think of things to say there.  For now, I am much happier with how it looks, and how it reads.

And finally, I finally got off my ass and got the Cover Gallery up to date and fixed, something I was putting off for far too long.

Whew, like I said, I have been rather busy.  On top of all that, there's bad movies to watch, so I better get back to it!

J

Good News?

I've been poking the site a bit over the past week or so, and it looks, tentatively, like whatever wasn't meshing between SquareSpace and my browser has been fixed.  We'll see what happens when I do my next full review over the weekend.  Some testing posted ok, and wasn't eaten by the WYSIWYG gremlins, so here's hoping!

On another note, we're pulling into September soon, and right around the corner is October, which means the site will be celebrating its birthday.  I'm scratching my head trying to think of what would be a good movie to do for our anniversary, and just can't think of a single thing that would have any kind of one-year significance.  Maybe I'll do a Friday the 13th?  Maybe just another Puppet Master?  Or maybe just something that looks truly awful in the awfullest of ways?

So I ask my readers, also in hopes of getting more feedback, if there's a movie I'm just not thinking of that would be perfect, or just something YOU would like to see?  I've got plenty of movies I hate to love, but if no one has heard of them, that doesn't do much good.  My only requirement, and even this is negotiable, is that I'm trying to stick to movies pre-2001.

Hit me!

J

Bad News

I just tried posting and working on the latest review, and fortunately I was pretty early in the process, because when I clicked save, almost the entire post was blanked out.  I've tried several more times, and each time once I paste in the text for the analysis, it just blanks the entire post with the first attempt to save.

Until this is fixed, I literally cannot work on the site.

J

Murder at 200 Visits

Well, Trisk hit a bit of a milestone, and I thought I should make a post and wave around the party favours.

I follow the users and visits to the site pretty closely.  Some might say too closely, but I have free time to kill.

Ever since we opened the doors in October, 2009, the site has had steady growth each month, with one exception.  I've been wanting to see the site crawl over the 200 unique visits mark for a month, and we finally did that the other day.  Sure, it's only 200 people, but the first month after the introduction got a teeny 50 people.

The best thing is, this month isn't quite over yet, and I've only posted one review.  There's another one coming up before we wrap up June, so we are doing pretty good.  200 is a paltry number in the grand scheme of thing, but the steady growth and ever increasing interest in this site bring me joy.  I'm clearly doing something right here.

Although I speak out to each and every person out there, please post comments!  I crave feedback.  What works?  What doesn't?  What movies do you want me to see?  I know you're looking at this site.  I can hear you breathing.  Let's communicate!

Also, just a few notes on Murder Mansion.

What is up with the movie image? you may be asking.  Well, Murder Mansion is the first movie from the three 50 movie packs of awesome badness I got, and naturally there's no DVD covers for each movie to scan.  I decided a fair compromise would be to use the image from the set the movie is in so people can see where it's from if they're interested.  And adding a nice, bloody title to it for a quick eyeball of just what I'm reviewing.  I decided not to do a 'full size' version, since everything is visible in the small image, and making the larger one would take up unnecessary space and be a little silly.

Does that work for you guys?  Would you rather I try and track down some poster art, or some other usable picture?  I'm good either way, although I do like the images I made.  And I probably won't always be able to find usable art.

 There's also been a number of changes to the review style, as people may have noticed.  "The Guts" was a lot more concise header for the whole synopsis and breakdown than what I had been using, and I like changing the Rundown to the Autopsy Report.  Feels more in line with the style of the site.  And of course, these aren't final and could change at any moment, if anyone has better suggestions or I come up with one.

I want to add more things to the Autopsy too, like maybe a full body count, best scene...  I also did character breakdowns in Sideshow and really want to do more stuff like that as well.  I would have done it for Murder Mansion, but damned if I knew who anyone was.  I'm not even 100% sure I paired up the right actors with the right characters, since there's no ending credits to my copy of the film.

Also of note is that this movie definitely doesn't fit the usual mold.  It does have a body count, and is a little slasher like, and at least has the possibility of a witch, but it's also a little off to the side of our usual fare.  But I like that.  I want to start opening our scope, since there's a number of more science fictiony fare I'd love to do as well.  If there's blood, we'll probably do it.  Or even if there isn't.  If MST3K can do "The Girl in Gold Boots" I can do a cheeseball scifi movie.

Ok, that's way more than enough rambling from me!

Back to the dungeon!

J

Time of the Month

Howdy, horrorheads!

I'm still typing away at my novel, and am at a quarter of the way to the main goal of 50k words.  I always love doing this every year.  I need to write more, I always feel so energized when I do, which is good news for this site.

I am having a bitch of a time finding the movie I want to do next for the site.  I've got plenty of movies to do, that's not the trouble.  I have something very special I want to do when I get back, and it just went out of print, making it difficult or expensive to aquire.  I might just forget it for a later date and plough forward with something else, but for the moment I'm still on plan A.

But my main reason for posting is, the site is just about a month old!  A little bit more, actually, but I was wrapped up in other stuff to get around to this.  For the first month of an unknown site I've only been telling about to my friends and a few others, things have been pretty solid.  Triskaidekafiles has had just over 80 unique visitors, which sounds small.  And yeah, it is.  But just getting started?  That's a good way to start, and I thank everyone who has visited the site, and I hope most of them keep coming back.

There has been a noticable drop off in views the last few days, obviously.  It's been awhile since I posted the Shocker review, and the site has gone dormant while I'm working on my other things.  That's one reason I wanted to post this, to keep some activity bubbling along.  As long as I've got something to say, I'll keep things as active as possible until the reviews are back.

Keep your eyes peeled.  We're not dead yet.

And if we are, we're still ambulatory and developing a taste for brains!

Jason

Shock Treatment

As everyone has probably noticed by now, there's a new review up!  This time out, I reviewed an all time fave of mine, the Wes Craven classic, Shocker

I gotta say, I was a little surprised at how long that went.  I ended up typing a nearly 4500 word essay on a horror movie.  I've made some issue with how long people like Spoony and Nostalgia Critic and the rest make their videos, and I almost feel like I owe them an apology, as I'm learning how hard it can be to sum up.  I hope that even though the reviews are lengthy, that the images help break things up a bit, and I keep things light enough that it's not a chore.  That's one thing I want to work on, unless people like the length.  Since the movie was longer than Popcorn, it's no surprise this time out was longer.  Especially since the plot is actually pretty complex and packed.  Like I said in the review, the first third is nearly an entire movie's worth of plot itself.

While I wish it was shorter, I do like what I wrote, and think it turned out quite well.  A few more images than I had planned, and there's still more I could've slipped in, trust me.  However, I think 10 to 15 images is just about the right amount.  Any less and the paragraphs clump together too much, and any more and it gets to be too many images versus text.

With the site now having more than one review, I've added a feature I wanted to do much earlier, but it seemed silly.  There's a new page linked above called Movie Cover Gallery, and there you can browse through the various reviews via the DVD covers I scan in for each review.  It's a nice visual alternative to find a review, while still keeping the reviews page itself intact.

Now, for a little bit of a warning.  This review came out pretty quickly after the first one, and two weeks seems like a good buffer between reviews, both to not wait too long between reviews, and to give me a break after everything I do for a review.

However, November is going to be light.  Every November for the past seven or eight years, I have participated in the National Novel Writing Month, where the challenge is put forth to try and write a 50,000 word story before the month ends.  That's going to be drawing all my focus, so trying to find the word to watch a movie, take notes, make images, and write up a review will be tough.  Especially with the length I seem to be falling into!

Never fear though, I have looked around, and found a movie that's a real turkey, and would be perfect to try and squeeze in for Thanksgiving time.  So there won't be much reviewing for the next month, but I do have something lined up for the end of November.

And besides that, I'll still be posting the occasional journal entry, so the site won't be completely dead.

I hope you enjoy the review, and I'll see you in a month!

J

Suggestion Box

One of the hardest things about this site is going to be coming up with appropriate movies.  Especially when I'm constantly refining just what constitutes a Triskaidekafiles Film.

I've compiled a list that's ok and a good start, but there's a lot of movies on the list that I feel don't quite fit the mold.  I want to float these past my readers and see what y'all think, and either give them a thumbs up or a veto.

In addition, I am always open to any movie you don't see on the list.  I've got a lot of movies that I'm not going to list here, though.  These are just the maybes, and the whys I'm waffling on them.

  • Bubba Ho-Tep.  This one feels too new, but is perfectly in the style I love.
  • Idle Hands.  Too deliberately funny?  Not enough horror?  Too new?
  • Black Christmas.  Either, both.  Never seen the first so not sure about it.  The remake might be too new.  Although I do like the idea of comparing originals and remakes somewhere down the line.
  • Shadow of the Vampire.  Feels like it might be too straight to do, but might be fun.
  • Shaun of the Dead.  Too new, and actually too damned good, I think.  But might make a good example of doing things right.
  • Dracula: Dead and Loving It.  Too much on the comedy side of the spectrum.
  • Dead Snow.  I've not seen this, so hard to judge it.
  • Nic Cage's Wicker Man.  Less horror, more horrible.  A good excuse to watch it, but might be a poor fit for Trisk.
  • Stay Alive.  Perfectly in the style that feels right, but feels too new?
  • Urban Legend, the original one.  Might be too new, and too good.  Hard to tell.
  • My Name is Bruce/Man With the Screaming Brain.  We gotta do something with Bruce Campbell at some point.  These fall into the too new category as well though.
  • Evil Dead 1 or 2. I'm really torn on these.  They're old, they're cheesy, they're pretty perfect.  But they're also classics.  Can I mock the classics?
  • Cry_Wolf.  I'll admit, I really think this movie is quite well done.  It might be too good for us!
  • Cthulhu.  The recent movie.  It's corny, but not quite in the way I'm looking for.  I'm not sure if this fits the site at all.
  • House on Haunted Hill.  The new version.  The original should end up here someday.  But again, is it too new?
  • Pulse.  The American version.  So awful.  But is it our kind of awful?  See other whinging on the newness.
  • Slither/Snakes on a Plane.  These two are a lot like Shaun, in that they run with the cheese and over the topness, and would be perfect fits, although they feel almost too new for the site.

So yeah, there's my list of maybes.  The definites I'm keeping to myself to keep some surprises under my trenchcoat.  I'd love to hear what others think out of those I should definitely look at, or what others I don't list.

Also, as a kind of catch-all question; should the site of a cutoff date for which movies don't get reviewed?  Anything newer than 2000 or something like that?  Something about modern movies just don't quite reach the charm of the past few decades, but there's still a few that fit the mold.

Share your thoughts!

J

And So it Begins

It's been a long week, but the day is finally here, and I can finally talk about it!

Ok, I could talk about it before, I just chose not to, to build suspense.  Because that's more fun.

Anyone with half a brain should have known that today, October 13TH would be the day I'd post the first review.  That was always the plan, even before I bought the URL.  What other day would this site post its first review?

And what movie did I review?  The very little known film from the early 1990s, Popcorn.  The movie is about a group of film students putting on a marathon to raise money.  And murder ensues.  It looks at films, pokes fun at them, and is such a weird little film, it was perfect to kick things off.  Be sure to click the now-functioning Reviews link to check it out.

But it was not without problems.  The final 20 minutes of my copy of the DVD ground to a halt.  Fortunately I have plenty of other players to use and had that as a backup plan, but it was still supremely frustrating.  It figures my first review would not go smoothly.

I am so glad that this is finally out there, and it was a blast revisiting this movie, and sharing it with everyone.  Let me know what you think of the review, what you like, what you didn't, what you'd like to see.  This is my first one, and if there's room for improvement, I need to hear it in order to change!

J

Website Update V: Updates Take Manhattan

Another day, a few more updates.  Just added a bunch more links to the link page.  Most notably, added a link to Troma Entertainment, creators of the Toxic Avengers, Kabukiman, and some of the most offbeat, low budget horror.

Another couple of links were made to the former MST3K crews' current projects, since watching them late at night, along with other shows, really fostered my love of these sorts of films, even if they are really awful.  I wouldn't be doing this if not for them, at least in part.

That's all for now, keep your eyes out!

J

Building Blocks

Another day, another couple of tweaks to the site.

Added an email contact form over there ->

My favourite addition to the site has to be the addition of the favicon, our little crimson 13.  It's one of those personal touches to a website that really makes it mine, and it makes such a great, simple logo.  I have a bit of glee seeing it every time.

Someone reading these might be wondering why I'm posting these updates.  Which is fair enough.  I'm still working out just what all I'm going to do, and how I'll do them, but I want to get into the habit of doing regular updates, and the act of sitting down and banging out a few sentences, even if it's only about the few tweaks I've made to the site over the past few hours, it is still something, and forming good habits.

I'm neck deep in my Fringe season 1 DVDs (Awesome show, check it out if you haven't already!) and once I'm done with that, I'll dive right into my first review.  I think I know exactly what that will be, but I'm going to sit on it for a little longer, so there's something to look forward to.

Seeya on the flipside.

J

Work in Progress

Just a small update as I'm working on the site.  Just a lot of little updates today as I'm hammering out all the details.

Made and added links pages, some links to follow me on other services that you can find over there on the right.  And on the left, you might be able to see Blade from the Puppet Master movies watching over the site.  Full Moon and the Puppet Master movies are a huge influence on me, and reason for this site to exist, so adding him over there felt right, and it added some more visual content to the site.

Added a main page with a brief intro.  Not entirely happy with it, but it works for now, and I can always massage it over time.

And for a complete look at what this site is about, there's now an About Me page that gets into some of that.

There's a few other bits and bobs I've tweaked and added, but nothing major.  Everything is going apace towards the real launch.

J