Triskaidekafiles

Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

Night of the Demons 2 (1994)

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2

WRITER: Joe Augustyn

DIRECTOR: Brian Trenchard-Smith

STARRING: Christi Harris as Bibi
    Darin Heames as Z-Boy
    Bobby Jacoby as Perry
    Merle Kennedy as Mouse
    Amelia Kinkade as Angela
    Rod McCary as Father Bob
    Johnny Moran as Johnny
    Rick Peter as Rick
    Jennifer Rhodes as Sister Gloria
    Christine Taylor as Terri
    Zoe Trilling as Shirley
    Ladd York as Kurt

QUICK CUT: Angela is back, and this time she has a sister, and a whole Catholic private school to mess with!

THE MORGUE

    Bibi - Our lead protagonist, I suppose.  Probably the nicest girl in the entire movie, if not the entire school.  She's the only one who defends Mouse throughout the movie, that doesn't want to kill her.

    Shirley - The direct opposite of Bibi.  She's the mean girl of the movie, fills the typical 'bitch' stereotype.  She's a bully, she's almost a guy in the way she acts.  Probably straight out of NYC.

    Mouse - Angela's sister, left behind after their parents died years ago, and Angela disappeared after the events of the first movie.  She is the shyest, quietest person ever, who is constantly struggling with her PTSD of being a violently abandoned orphan, and constantly bullied.

    Perry - One half Catholic, one half occult investigator wannabe.  He loves exploring the unknown, even when he shouldn't.  It gets him in trouble with his teachers, his constant poking at the boundaries of reality.  Some day, something with poke back...

    Sister Gloria - The head nun of the school.  She's generally a good person, but also pretty typical of a nun in movies, with a tough streak and penchant for whacking things with yardsticks.

    Father Bob - The guy in charge of the school for the time being, as far as we're concerned.  He's a bit more laid back than the sister, and willing to let the kids explore and push at boundaries, within reason.

    Angela - The demon infested weird girl is back.  She's a bit more mischievous this time out, having fully embraced her evil nature.  She's not quite Freddy Krueger silly, but she skirts around that.

 Now with more glow!

Now with more glow!

THE GUTS: We are back, Triskelions, and as I am sure you've guessed by now, we are sitting back to take a look at Night of the Demons 2, because we are all clever and can see where this is going.   Since we already know what we're in for, let's just dive right in, shall we?

This is a genuine sequel to the first movie, and both Angela and the funeral home at Hull House are back.  But like all good sequels, this movie expands their horizons.  First though, the movie gives us a nice stinger to get the ball rolling, as a pair of evangelists swing by to try and see if Angela has heard the word of the Lord.  Ohh, have you folks come to the wrong neighbourhood.

Angela quickly dispatches of them, and this!  THIS is what the first movie needed.  Something good and meaty to get the audience primed and ready for what's to come, and something to tide them over until the fun REALLY begins in a little while.  Something to spray some blood on the walls and keep us interested.

 Really?  None of this is setting off any alarms for you two??

Really?  None of this is setting off any alarms for you two??

After that solid opener, we cut to a nearby private religious school, and the movie wastes *zero* time getting to naked women, as some guys, in equal states of undress, are checking them out with some binoculars.  Diving right into instant deaths and instant titilation, this movie isn't holding back.  And that's good.

While the guys are ogling, the girls are telling scary stories, since it's Halloween.  And of course, the massacre at Hull House has already fallen into local folklore and become one of those sorts of stories you tell your friends in the dark.  It's such a great idea to make the first movie questionable folklore, it gives the sequel an instant set of its own mythology.

And adding to the legend, is that they never found Angela's body, and the more speculative spookmongers told that she descended into hell to hang with Hades.  Oh, if you only knew.

We also meet Mouse, who oh!  Just so happens to be Angela's little sister.  Yeah, I bet she just loves this story.  Her name is actually Melissa, which she is constantly correcting people about.  Gee, I wonder if that will come back later?

 Best visual pun ever.

Best visual pun ever.

There's also a really great fake out, with the girls telling their story, describing Angela stalking the house, in her black wedding dress, as they cut back and forth to a similarly cloaked figure approaching the girls...but it turns out to be Sister Gloria, coming to tell the girls to get to sleep.  It's really well shot, and uses expectations and visuals really well.

After Mouse has a great nightmare with her sister coming to visit and tear off her face, we cut to Sister Gloria practicing her yardstick sword skills.  It's such a silly moment, but I love the silliness at this time.  The movie is bloody, but it never takes itself TOO seriously.

Her morning katas are interrupted by Father Bob, who wants to let the kids do the organising for the annual Halloween party, against her better judgment.

 I raised three upcoming Charmed Ones, I can handle a trio of Catholic schoolgirls!

I raised three upcoming Charmed Ones, I can handle a trio of Catholic schoolgirls!

One of the guys is really into the occult, and exorcisms, that sort of thing, even having an occult book on him.  The bad girl of the group sees it, and thinks it will spice up her OWN Halloween party she wants to throw at Hull House.  Did we learn nothing from the last movie?  School dances are for the people who want to survive the movie!  Also, reading out of mystic tomes for shits and giggles is bad, just ask Ash.

The movie starts to spend maybe a little TOO much time with the kids at school, as the girls go to their classes, and the guys get taught by Father Bob, where Perry asks a bit too much about the occult.  At least they're still talking about the occult and Hull House in particular, so there's at least a running thread keeping things going.  It's all thematically connected, and not just spinning wheels.

But again, there's a lot of characters floating around, and the interactions are fun, so while it's maybe a bit too slow, it's an entertaining kinda slow.  For the most part.

The guys and girls get into trouble when Sister Grams catches them getting a little too close for Jesus, and grounds them from going to the big party.  Yeah, we already know that's not gonna stick, because otherwise no movie.

Fortunately, the movie knows this is the right time to throw in a summoning ritual performed by Perry and his Bible Fellowship.  Which has Angela burst out of the mirror at him, and he's probably only saved by Father Bob barging in.  However, Perry also gets grounded from the party.

 Yes, YES!  I will marry you!!

Yes, YES!  I will marry you!!

Meanwhile, the girls are watching everyone not grounded get ready for the party, and Mouselissa brings over a homemade little black dress for Bibi to wear.  I dunno if that will really fit on Johnny Five wearing yellow battle armour...

Considering the quality of the dress, if Mouse survives the movie, she has a bright future as a fashion designer, to be quite honest.

So, the stage is set, we've met the characters, we've set up that they're determined to have their own party, and spent lots of time getting to know everyone.  It is time to get this show going.

 No, NO!  You will NOT break out into a musical number!  I forbid it!  NO SINGING!

No, NO!  You will NOT break out into a musical number!  I forbid it!  NO SINGING!

Thankfully, the movie does just that, and everyone except for Perry piles into Shirley's boyfriend's car to go to the mysterious location she's picked out that is totally Hull House.  But Perry finds the invite, and determines that the party is being thrown by whomever stole his book, because they drew a pentagram on the invite, just like the one on his Necronomicon!!

You...you DO know that's a really common symbol?  Even outside of 'evil' cults and such?  Heck, people doodle stars all the time, even without having an occultish context.  That is such weak evidence, but it gets Perry trying to warn Father Bob about things, so I can live with it.

Oh, and on the ride to the party, Rick calls Terri "Marcia" which is particularly prescient, since this movie came out before she was *actually* cast in the Brady Bunch movie the following year.

 Don't jinx it, my name's Terri in this movie!

Don't jinx it, my name's Terri in this movie!

They pull up to Hull House and Mouse *loses her shit*.  Bibi is the only one to defend the girl, and try and get everyone to go home, and Shirley continues her role of bully by refusing to leave.  At least she lets Mouse stay in the car and doesn't forcibly drag her into the place where her sister brutally murdered a half dozen people.

Everyone but Mouse heads inside, and we get to explore the house a little, while Shirley calls out for Angela to come out and playyay, and get this going.  And the movie rolls out some reused footage from the first movie, because if you're gonna use establishing shots of things, why reshoot them??

Since Shirley is busy getting the place ready, which you wouldn't think is necessary in an abandoned funeral home, Bibi and her boyfriend wander off to kill time, and Tracy and Kurt split off to have sex.  Yep, let's get those death triggers going.

 Little bunny Fufu, hoppin' through the forest...

Little bunny Fufu, hoppin' through the forest...

While everyone is off begging for death to come, Mouse gets scared by our last arriving partygoer, Z-Boy.  She runs inside, and gets grabbed by Shirley, deciding Mouse will be a much better sacrifice to their dark gods than the poor kitty they'd brought along.

Terri and Kurt come back just in time to watch the ritual, and just kinda stand there while Shirley reads out of the evil book of evil.  Aaaany time now guys, any moment now, you should jump in and stop this.  I don't care if that Pauly Shore wannabe has a spiked baseball bat.

FINALLY just as the knife is about to be plunged into Mouse, Kurt finds his spine and dives in, but instead he gets stabbed.  Terri's scream gets Bibi and Johnny to stop boinking in the master bedroom, and come running down to discover...OH it was a fake knife and no one was in danger.  Well, except from all the trauma Mouse went through.

 A knife to the brain would only help Z-Boy, I think.

A knife to the brain would only help Z-Boy, I think.

Mouse has had enough, and the ritual seems to have awoken Angela, even though she's been plenty active already.  But when they find a foul smelling puddle of black sludge and maggots, they decide it is actually time to leave.

Well, except Terri needs to pee.  Look, I know you say you can't hold it, but we can pee outside.  You'll manage.  I wouldn't want to pee in this house ANYways.

Proving my point, she finds the bathroom, and finds the demonised head of the male evangelist who came by and died earlier.  And to be quite honest, the non-headed head is probably LESS sanitary.

 Hey!  Occupied!

Hey!  Occupied!

Z-Boy sees Demona and follows her, because why not?  The rest decide to abandon the tool, because he found his own way there and screw him.  And that's mostly what Angela has in mind, as she shoves her demon tongue down his throat and makes him her first victim.  Well, at least he'll die happy.

Back at the school, Perry finds Sister Gloria to tell her about their plan to escape the school and perform evil rituals.  Yeah, too late pal.  But points for trying!

I also give points for the movie remembering to mention the underground stream, but ooops!  Bibi took some lipstick she found in the old, crumbling, rotting, spider-web infested, maggot-crawling, demon filled home.

Everyone arrives back at the school, and sneaks into the party since Gloria is busy with Perry trying to get Father Bob to go check out the house no one is actually at anymore.  Meanwhile, Shirley tries out the evil lipstick, and gets attacked by it.  A rather *ahem* phallic looking snake crawls out of the tube, far longer than it should be able to, and it crawls into the girl, infesting her with the evil.  Not like that was a far road for Shirley to go down, but I digress...

 Just gals being pals.

Just gals being pals.

Angela also poofs out of the lipstick tube like she's an evil genie, but that's another franchise I'll get to someday.  On the plus side, she's upgraded her outfit from the wedding dress to another little black number and fishnets.  On the downside, it's time for her to hit the party and give us another requisite dancing scene like the first movie, but no less provocative in its way.

Sister Gloria shows up to cast the demon out the front door, and Shirley takes up the sexy dancing duties.  Her boyfriend of the moment gets into it, especially when she rips off the top of her dress.  He reaches in for a touchy feely, and the breasts REACH RIGHT BACK.  It is one of *the* most surreal, creepy, and unexpected moments since the girl got groped by the elevator in Bloody New Year.

It's a great effect, and comes so out of nowhere.  Speaking of out of nowhere, Mephitstophshirley finishes off Rick with a snap of his neck.

Well, so much for school parties being where you go if you want to survive the movie.  Perry quickly yells for everyone to clear out and GET TO THE CHOPPHA...er, CHAPEL!

 Hands grab boobs, not boobs grab hands!

Hands grab boobs, not boobs grab hands!

Our heroes quickly piece together that the demon got out with the lipstick (And that's this week's sentence I never thought I'd write), and prepare to take the fight to them.  What follows is an amazing hilarious scene of Sister Gloria getting geared up with her combat habit, water balloons of holy water, and more swinging around stuff to overly serious music.

Meanwhile, since Terri and Kurt never got around to having sex, they're busy making out in a car with NO idea what's going on.  Demona shows up by having her hand magically appear through the car's seat and groping Kurt's 'king snake' while he thinks it's soon to be Marcia's hand.

It's a simple gag, but well done, and would be disturbing as hell in reality.

They run away, but Angela appears right in front of them anyways, because demon.  And she then dispatches Kurt with a swift slice to the neck.

 There can be only one!

There can be only one!

It's Terri's turn to do the running, and she ends up finding Shirley in the woods, who gives her the demon kiss.

While she's making out in the woods, Johnny rushes to wake up Father Bob, because things are getting a little bit too murdery around these parts.

Angela goes to pick up her sister for a family reunion, and the Godster Squad gathers for battle, complete with Perry handing out Super Soakers filled with holy water.  Dennis Miller would be proud.

Bibi goes looking for Mouse, but finds Terri instead.  And the demonised girl is about to kill Bibi, but fortunately Johnny and the rest show up to poor holy water down the girl's throat.

 I sold my soul to be Marcia Brady!

I sold my soul to be Marcia Brady!

They watch Mouse and Angela disappear into the mist, and try and convince Father Bob to let them chase after them, to stop whatever.  And he doesn't believe them, but agrees to go to Hull House to put all this mystical nonsense to rest when they see there is nothing there.  Ahahaha, yeah, Bob is in for a surprise.

So it's back to Hull House, and Father Bob insists on splitting up, because if there's one mystical power this funeral home actually has?  It's to make people have terrible ideas like splitting up.

As if on cue, one of the groups heads upstairs, and when Bibi steps through a door, it quickly closes before the others can follow.  And the same happens to her boyfriend when he enters another room to try and get a running start and bust the first door down.

Before he can try that trick again, Angela appears like the worst game of whack a mole, and knocks him through a window, right into the exact same grain storage area that Sal fell into in the first movie.

 Deja vu all over again.

Deja vu all over again.

Meanwhile, Perry and his Priest Fellowship find Rick, who decides to kill Father Bob.  Are you a believer now, Bob, hmm?

But Perry's right there with his water gun and balloons, and seemingly take out the demon, just before the horrors of reused footage of Angela floating down the hall comes after them.

Outside, Johnny's waking up, and finds Kurt outside playing basketball...with his own severed head.  I really want to make a joke that, while he does dribble his head a few times, Kurt does also walk around carrying his head before shooting a basket.  That's clearly traveling, no questions asked.  And I would make the joke, but the movie beats me to it, almost.

But really, who is gonna argue with a demon if he breaks the rules?

 Heads up, Johnny!

Heads up, Johnny!

Fortunately, before things can get any worse for Johnny, Perry shows up with his holy hand grenade and water balloons Kurt in the face.

While they run, Perry's heroism and smart thinking with creative weapons is short-lived, as Z-Boy shows up and uses his equally impressive bat with nails in it to kill the occult biblethumper.  Before he can be fully demonised, Perry takes some holy water to finish himself off as cleanly as possible.

Upstairs, Bibi has finally been released to wander the halls, and she runs right into Beel-Z-Boy, who assaults her with his bulging pants.  Now, I'm sorry.  Kurt was the guy constantly saying his nickname is "King Snake".  He should've gotten the trouser python bulge gag.

Sister Gloria fortunately appears, and chases La-Z-Boy off with her badass nun trickery, and the two resume looking for Mouse.  But they find Demon Bob and Mephistophshirley first.  Johnny returns just in time to spray the holy water around liberally.

 I'm sorry, father, but this is a non-smoking funeral home.

I'm sorry, father, but this is a non-smoking funeral home.

Just as Bob and Shirley are melting away, Z-Boy comes back for more punishment, proving he's not the smartest demon in hell.  But he gets a quick holy balloon to the nuts.  See, this is what you get when you make your dick a giant, bulging target.

So we finally have our surviving trio find Mouse, about to be sacrificed *for the second time tonight* and the Sister tries to stop the uh...the sister.  But Angela cuts the nun's head off.

Except...except she doesn't?  Or she does, and Sister Gloria pops a new head out?  Because faith?  Yeahbuhwhat?!  We just went from entertainingly and knowingly silly to outright ludicrous.

 Nuns do not work that way!  They are not turtles!

Nuns do not work that way!  They are not turtles!

Angela's a caring demon though, and offers the nun a bargain, because apparently no one is even going to talk about the fact that she JUST GREW HER HEAD BACK.  *ahem*  Angela offers to spare Mouse, if the sister agrees to take her place on the sacrificial gurney.

So they do a quick POOF and make a deal with God, to get him to swap their places.  Angela hands her sister the sword, and tells her to cut off the nun's head and take her power.  Yeah, hopefully it works this time, because this nun is a Highlander's worst nightmare.

The girl pauses in taking the nun's life, and Angela keeps telling Mouse to do it, do it now, and gasp!  Just like I guessed the first time she said it, Mouse cries out that her name is *Melissa* and stabs Demona in the gut.  Yeeep, saw that coming a mile away.  Still, it's satisfying.

 A face only a sister could love.

A face only a sister could love.

And Gloria finishes off the job by spraying her with water.  Bad!  Bad demon!  No killing nuns!

Well, that was quick, I guess we're done, and everyone can leave the house, as the sun comes up, and the credits can roll...and we are totally not done, are we?

Nope.  Wouldn't you know it?  Demona's not really dead, and crawls into the foyer as a gigantic snake creature demon.

 I...I did not see that one coming, to be quite honest.

I...I did not see that one coming, to be quite honest.

Before they can call an exterminator, animal control, or Doctor Stoner, Angela slithers at them, and the trio try to do SOMEthing but just kinda stand and shout for a bit.  Even the nun's special bag of tricks is empty now.

Johnny has a randomly weird and effective idea to kick at the boards on the window, and they break off PERFECTLY to make a cross.  The sunlight streams through and burns the demon until she explodes.  I feel like that needed a liiittle more setup or credibility, or something more than NINJA KICK BOARDS that break perfectly.  It does not feel earned at all.

So that manages to kill the demon for now, but don't worry!  Back at the school, one of the student's finds the lipstick, so if there's a sequel, we're all set for it now!

 Noooo!  I told you, I don't tan, I burn!

Noooo!  I told you, I don't tan, I burn!

AUTOPSY REPORT

Video: I was surprised at how good it looked.  It's got the right grain, it's easy to see what's going on...the biggest problem is that it's *too* well lit!  But I'm glad they didn't swing too far the other way.

Audio: It sounds solid enough.

Sound Bite: "I have seen Satan's work with my own eyes!"  You and me both...

Body Count: Again a bit confusing with deaths and rebirths and redeaths, but I went with anything that would kill a normal person counting as a death.

1 - Two minutes in, and a visiting religious evangelist gets sliced up by Angela
2 - And his fellow female evangelist.
3 - Z-Boy dies by kissing.  What a way to go.
4 - Shirley snaps Rick's neck at the Halloween party.
5 - Kurt tries to run away, but Angela cuts his head off first.
6 - Father Bob finds Rick in the funeral home, but gets stabbed repeatedly.
7 - Rick dies when Perry uses holy water balloons on his head.
8 - Do I count DemonKurt dying?  I assume he was dispatched by holy water.
9 - Z-Boy appears and bats Perry in the face to death.
10 - Demon Bob dies from holy water to the chest.
11 - As does Demon Shirley
12 - Demon Z-Boy also dies after a water balloon to the nuts.
13 - And finally, Angela herself dies after being stabbed and sprayed with water.

Best Corpse: SOOO many to choose from.  But I go with Demon Bob and Shirley.  After they get spritzed, they crawl off into another room and melt into a pile of fleshy bloody goo, with a few body parts flopping around.  It's awesome.

Blood Type - A: There's some random splashes, and then there's the pile of goo I just mentioned, and a few other great moments of gore.  All topped off by that amazing snake monster.

Sex Appeal: Everywhere!

Drink Up! Whenever Mouse corrects someone on her name.  Finish the bottle for the final culmination.

Video Nasties: I really would've loved to share the boobgrab shot, but the nudity gave me pause.  Instead, have fun playing head basketball with Kurt!

Movie Review: I'm not gonna lie...I actually enjoyed this more than the first movie.  The pacing is better, it moves along well, and when it slows, there's still stuff going on that's connected to the plot.  It all feels like it's moving forward, most of the time.  It's JUST as creative as the first movie, with some amazing visuals that rival that first movie.  It's more silly, but intentionally so.  The silliness of the first movie sometimes made me wince.  The worst part is that #2 hits a LOT of the same beats of the first movie, and that's the cardinal sin of sequels, in my opinion.  Most notably when Johnny gets flung out the window in a scene almost exactly the same as Sal's throw.  They're even both covered in denim!  There's always this thing with sequels that you can feel someone somewhere said, "Well, this and that and this worked from the first movie, so be sure to include the exact same scenes in this movie!"  The Austin Powers films were *terrible* for this.  "People loved the first movie, so be sure to do the exact same gags and don't vary the story too much!"  NO!  We loved the originals because they were new, and fun, and different!  THAT is what we loved, not the repetition of jokes we've already seen!  But I digress, as that's a problem with the Hollywood sequel machine, and less so with this movie.  There's less annoying fluff at the bookends, there's less sloooow party time in the middle, and it does expand on things, because while it hits the same beats of the house, and the party, and certain specific scenes, it also does new stuff like leaving the house, and wrecking the school.  The movie is a lot of fun, and improves on the original.  But the original is still the *original* and the sequel is a bit more of a generic slasher Halloween demon movie, but still has plenty of room for its own voice.  A *very* solid three out of five severed heads, and it comes oh so close to a four.

Entertainment Value: The silliness with the nun practicing with her yardstick like she's fencing will turn people off, and it arguably has no place in a horror movie, but damnit if I won't defend it.  We've ALL done it.  We've probably all envisioned nuns doing it, since they had such a reputation for their yardsticks and rulers back in the day.  But I love the tone, and like I said, it gives the movie an almost unique voice.  Even if Bordello of Blood did steal some of their cleverer moments.  It's got a great sense of humour, and while you can see the larger structure of the piece, and it doesn't do anything TOO unexpected in the plot, it does have some nice swerves and surprises while you go exactly where you think it will go.  Four out of five black wedding dresses.