Hunchback of the Morgue (1973)

HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE

WRITER: Javier Aguirre, Alberto S. Insua, Paul Naschy

DIRECTOR: Javier Aguirre

STARRING: Paul Naschy as Wolfgang Gotho

Rossana Yanni as Elke

Vic Winner as Dr. Frederic Tauchner

Maria Elena Arpon as Ilse

Manuel de Blas as Police Inspector

Antonio Pica as Police Inspector

Joaquin Rodriguez, Kinto as Hans Burgher

Fernando Sotuela as Udo

Sofia Casares as Eva

Dani Card as Marlene

Alberto Dalbes as Dr. Orla

Maria Pershy as Dr. Maria Meyer

QUICK CUT: With the help of a doctor, hunchback Gotho tries to find the perfect woman.

THE MORGUE

Gotho - A poor hunchback who also isn’t too bright, but he’s generally friendly, if a bit naive, and will do anything for those he cares for, and show him kindness in return.

Dr. Orla - The doctor Gotho works for, and he’s your typical mad scientist who doesn’t care about morals, because SCIENCE! He will use anyone and anything and morality be damned if it gets him what he wants.

Dr. Tauchner - Another doctor who works under Orla, and he’s a good man. He questions Orla’s methods, but goes along with them, up to a point.

Ilse - A woman Gotho knew as a child, who he has always loved, and she was always nice to. She has fallen ill though, and is not long for this movie.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! So, I actually DO keep a "to do" list of movies. It's mostly stuff I own, but there's a few in there that are movies I know exist and want to do, movies I needwant to get, and movies people have told me about or asked me to do. I tend to note those semi requests with a note to rush them. This week's movie, The Hunchback of the Morgue, is one such movie. I first added it to the list around 2011. ...Look, I said I keep a list, I never said I'm good at DOING it. Fun fact, there's another movie I found out about around the same time that...some day! ANYways, let me FINALLY take a look at Hunchback of the Moruge!

After the credits, we see the titular Hunchback, Gotho, head into town, and people watch some tourists and locals at a tavern. One of the drunken patrons complains to the lack of originality coming from the accordion player, demanding something new. And he launches into the EXACT SONG we just spent three minutes listening to in the credits.

...Look, it amused ME okay.

Some of the patrons have some fun, and order a round of beers for a classic drinking contest. Udo stumbles off drunkenly after the contest, and ends up passing out in the street, making him easy pickings for Gotho.

Excuse me, miss? There seems to be a mistake. I believe I ordered a LARGE beer.

Gotho takes the body to the morgue, and slits his throat, and it's...unclear, if the body was dead from alcohol poisoning or whatever, or alive but VERY unconscious until Gotho does him in here.

Oh, and it just so happens, Udo was in love with a woman, Ilse, whom is someone Gotho has long been smitten with, since she has always been kind to him. She is sick in the same hospital, so he heads upstairs to tell her the bad news of her beloved.

The two reconnect, and she is indeed VERY sweet towards the hunchback, and it's easy to see why he is so taken with her.

As he leaves, Gotho runs into a group of kids, and as kids are wont to do, they make fun of the poor, mishapen man, and throw rocks at him. After they leave, a doctor comes along, and she helps patch him up, again showing him kindness.

Following another visit with Ilse, where we see she is getting worse, we head to a reform school to get in some girls being punished, because Spanish movie. This is also where the female doctor works, and we meet her boss Doctor Meyer, and her fiance Dr. Tauchner.

Later, Gotho is about to pay another visit to llse, and a group of doctors make fun of him, and attack him when he foolishly tries to make them stop.

Tauchner and Dr. Orla come to Gotho's aid and chase the others off, and he gathers his flowers for Ilse. However, the delay was too much, and by the time he reaches her, the woman has passed away. And they even pointedly make clear that if he had been only a few moments sooner, they could have said good bye.

I dunno if he's a proper Gotho, he's much more like a Quasi-Gotho.

Already, at only the end of the first act, give or take, I can already tell that this movie is something different, and special. We're taking our time, we're getting to know and empathise with Gotho, and there's an undeniable sweetness to it all.

Ilse gets rolled down to the morgue, where Gotho is expected to prepare her...but not before the morticians pick over the corpse like vultures, stealing her gold necklace. This sends Gotho around the bend, and he kills them both.

He grabs a hatchet he uses to slice body parts off the corpses, and makes a few more, by slicing one of their guts open and spilling them all over the floor, and slicing off the other's head.

Ahhh, some classic Spanish gore. This is fantastic by ‘73 standards…heck, even by today’s it’s pretty great!

Gotho then collects his Ilse and sneaks off with her into some convenient catacombs, because he doesn't quite understand the concept of death, which is funny since he works around it all day long.

We find ourselves back at the pub, as the doctors who harassed Gotho earlier are now the ones getting drunk. The leader stumbles out into the darkness and noooo, the movie is looping around on itself!

Gotho follows him home, and sneaks in, to choke Hans with a bouquet of flowers. A fitting punishment, if I do say so.

Eat it! Eat it ‘til you choke, you sick, Spanish, fuck!

All this sudden death has naturally drawn the attention of the cops, and they start looking for Gotho, what with being very high on the suspect list.

When he returns to the catacombs, Gotho discovers Ilse's body covered in rats, what with her being, y'know, dead.

He shoos them away, and when they attack him, he grabs a torch, sets the tattered robes of a corpse just chillin' on the catacomb walls on fire, throws the corpse at them, and chases them with the torch, setting them on fire too.

There uh, there's a bunch of shots of flaming rats on actual fire, and I want with all my heart to make a "Ghost Ratter" joke at this point, but I am NOT here for animal cruelty, and this being Spanish cinema in the early 70s, I do NOT think those rats were protected in any way whatsoever.

So instead...

Please, we just want to help you cook, please!!

Gotho takes Ilse's body elsewhere in the catacombs where she will supposedly be safe, but uh...the rats can't get there why? Ahh, he doesn't know any better, I'll just have to let this one slide.

Meanwhile, the police visit Dr. Orla to ask about the whereabouts of his hunched employee, but the man has gone missing. So, the doctor heads to the hospital to get some work done.

Gotho reveals himself to the doctor, and asks him for help, taking him to the catacombs and showing him Ilse's body.

Knowing he can use this all to his advantage, he agrees to help Gotho, and wake Ilse up "from her sleep" as long as the hunchback does what he is told.

We find out that Orla has been conducting experiments, and he will no longer be allowed to conduct them, so he has Gotho move all his equipment to the caves, so he can continue, under the guise of "waking up" Ilse.

He tells Tauchner of his plan, and that Gotho is helping get things ready for their Frankenstein like experiments to create artificial life. Tauchner is hesitant, what with all the murdering, but Orla assures him that Gotho is "probably not responsible”. PROBABLY.

Tauchner is dubious of all this, it's a LOT to accept, and he says as much. But Orla says that, sometimes science has to resort to dubious means. And you are the reason vaccine and science deniers have any legs to stand on.

We get shown around the tunnels once Gotho and some goons have set things up, and this joint is even complete with a VAT OF SULFURIC ACID to dispose of organic matter. Yeah, sure, just pick that up at the local Costco.

Later, the goons are getting fed up with the smell of rotting Ilse, so they waste no time in making use of that acid pit, and dump her corpse into it. Ohhh yeah, that's a big uh oh.

Unsurprisingly, when Gotho sees her body being melted away, no waking up from that! he makes short work of the goons. One of them does survive a little bit longer, but his entire head is melted from chemicals.

Meanwhile, Dr. Meyer, who is aware of Orla's experiments, is working her way through the tunnels. She knows of them, but is the most sceptical of the bunch, since she's you know, a good doctor.

And while she finds some rats, we finally get to see the fruits of Orla's experiments, a growing, pulsing, single celled blob of something.

Seriously, if this movie turned around and went, "Actually, call me by my true name...FRANKENSTEIN!" I would not be at all surprised.

You have created...uh...whatcha got there, doc??

With Ilse gone, Gotho tells Orla that he's done, he's giving his two weeks' notice, he's going to turn himself in, he doesn't care anymore.

Orla doesn't want to lose his pack animal, and convinces him that he can create a NEW bride of Frankens...errr, Gotho!

So he sends the hunchback to the morgue, to fetch a head to feed to his glob, and the easy convinced man does as he is asked.

The police see him though, and chase him through the town. Gotho makes his way to the rooftops, and eventually to Elke's home, where she takes him in. When the police show up, she tells them she hasn't seen him, and they move on.

Gotho and Elke confide in each other, he doesn't understand why she would help him, after what he's done, and she explains she knows it's not a simple situation. She understands why he killed those men, and the love he had for Ilse was wonderful.

Elke expresses a desire for such a love, and this just further baffles the hunchback, thinking no one could love him, or his ugly face.

CAP: You look like the Spanish Christopher Lambert!! "My ugly face!"?? Eat my entire ass!

And then they make out, and he leaves before the head he stole rots.

We do some more collecting of bodies, this time digging up a grave so they're nice and fresh. But another cop finds them, and Gotho accidentally kills him with a shovel. Orla makes lemonade from these lemons, and decides they now have TWO bodies to feed to the goop soup.

All this feeding has made the glob fill it's pot, so they move it to a cell and lock the door. We hear the container shatter, and Orla peeks through a slot in the door. He declares that oh, oh my! It grows, it grows so big and fast! as he peeks through the window. I swear to the Phoenix, if we don't get to see this monster...

Tauchner and Meyer are getting concerned, and Tauchner talks to Orla, wanting out. The two struggle, and Gotho knocks out the good man, to protect Orla.

Gotho goes to the reform school to pick up more take out for the creature, and at least this is an attempt to not have it seem like it was just there for titilation, and a part of the larger plot.

He next heads back to Elke's to try and get some help fixing his moral compass, and the two end up having sex, because Spain.

Meyer goes to Orla to ask where her students are, and Tauchner is, saying she'll go to the police. But, this is why Orla kept the man alive, to use as leverage and keep Meyer in line.

And so we capture and feed, capture and feed, as the creature grows and gurgles and sounds like White Fang telling off Soupy Sales.

Elke finds her way to the catacombs, as the creature has become insatiable, but Gotho won't sacrifice her. And he finally finds his uh, backbone if I may, and refuses to feed it the others as well, knowing Orla is to blame.

In all the fighting, Gotho gets shot, and the creature escapes. It goes straight for Orla, and mauls him to death, before coming for the hunchback.

Gotho fights the creature, so the others can escape, and both end up falling into the acid pit. Gosh, that sure did end up coming in handy!

As the others leave, Elke asks where her friend is, and don't worry, we'll just be waiting for Gotho once we're outside.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: It looks just a bit rough, but very high above average. When and where it was made definitely makes it look a bit soft. The production values are solid though.

Audio: Pretty solid mono track.

Body Count: A higher body count than I expected, thanks to random goons and girls.

1 - Udo passes out dead drunk about six minutes in, and if that doesn't do him in, the Hunchback slits his throat soon after.

2 - Ilse passes away

3 - Gotho hatchets off the head of one of the morticians.

4 - And gets another in the gut.

5 - Gotho chokes out the man who delayed him, with flowers.

6 - He later kills one of the goons by tossing him into a vat of acid.

7 - And another by smashing a beaker of bad liquids in his face.

8 - And a third by closing him into an iron maiden

9 - Gotho kills a policeman with a shovel.

10 - A woman gets fed to the grey goo.

11 - Gotho offers up a reformatory girl to the goo.

12 - And another

13 - And a third

14 - The doctor gets fed to the beast.

15 - Gotho falls into the acid pit.

16 - And takes the creature with him.

Best Corpse: The goon who gets splashed in the face with whatever has a nice melty look to him afterwards.

Blood Type - B+: Some great gore, lots of it, and some creative effects.

Sex Appeal: More in the level of titillation, but it sneaks in a few boobs here and there.

Drink Up! Every time the cops ask about Gotho.

Movie Review: I enjoyed this a lot. It’s very much of its time, and the plot elements are familiar, but everything is remixed in such a way that this is a very unique story. The goo monster feels a bit of a tacked on plot that could’ve used a bit more, but you need to have the doctors doing SOMEthing to need the catacombs, I guess, and it keeps Gotho from being the bad guy. It’s got a lot of quaint charm, and for an Spanish import, the acting is all right enough. Four out of five vats of acid.

Entertainment Value: It’s always fun seeing how free wheeling Spanish movies tend to be. Toss in some sex! Toss in a girl’s school! Toss in violence and gore, wheeee! The kills are creative and fun, and the plot is definitely such a weird mish mash of ideas. There’s always fun to be had with the dubbing in these movies, and overacting. I’m glad that Gotho isn’t a joke in the movie, and is more innocent than freakish. So this is a three out of five bouquets of flower.