Triskaidekafiles

Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

Leprechaun 2 (1994)

LEPRECHAUN 2

WRITERS: Turi Meyer and Al Septien

DIRECTOR: Rodman Flender

STARRING: Warwick Davis as The Leprechaun
    Charlie Heath as Cody
    Shevonne Durkin as Bridget
    Adam Biesk as Ian
    James Lancaster as William O'Day
    Sandy Baron as Morty

QUICK CUT: Luck has run run out for Bridget, as a curse dating back 1000 years comes back to haunt her, when the familiar gold-loving Leprechaun comes to claim his bride on St. Patrick's Day.

THE MORGUE

    Cody - A young kid who's been raised by a con man since his parents died, and he has been raised well in the ways of subtle thievery.  He suckers poor rubes into taking lame tours around Hollywood, and often comes into conflict with trying to spend time with his girlfriend, the one honest relationship in his life.

Bridget - Cody's girlfriend, and the descendant of one of the Leprechaun's slaves.  She's the unwitting victim of a curse, but she serves as nothing more than the role of a romantic hot potato amongst any guy with a pulse.  She's fortunately smart, so that's something, at least.

Morty - Cody's legal guardian, and the mastermind behind Darkside Tours.  He's a con man, and he's very into believing in what's real, what he can see, and dismisses fairytales out of hand.

The Leprechaun - Slightly more interesting this time around, with a little more character.  He's mischievous, and on a mission that involves more than gold.  He's given more to do, consequently, but also more to say.  If most of it wasn't in rhyme, that wouldn't be so bad, but...

 Did you miss me?

Did you miss me?

THE GUTS: Time to serve up another bowl of Lucky Charms!  Leprechaun 2 jumps straight into things, with a tale from the deep past, with our familiar dude in green chasing down a guy, and speaking to him in annoying rhyme once he catches him.  This is an addition they made in the second movie that stuck with the franchise, sadly.  It gives his dialogue a more lyrical quality and more direction, sure, but also just gets on my nerves after awhile.

But whatever.  McEtrigan captures his runaway slave, a person who once tried to steal his gold, and gives but a passing nod to his obsession with shoe cleaning by giving the guy's shoes a few whacks with a cloth.  So, we're dumping that rule out the window...

McExposition O'Backstory fills us in that this is his 1000th birthday (And he doesn't look a day over 903!) which means he can choose his bride.  If she sneezes three times without anyone saying God bless you, then she is his to claim.  Because that's not totally arbitrary.

 Can't blame Lucky for wanting her.

Can't blame Lucky for wanting her.

William is told that once the Leprechaun is married, then he shall be freed from his servitude, so he has motivation to both not save the poor lass himself, and make sure no one else does.  But once the chosen bride is revealed, oh no!  It's William's own daughter!  Whatever shall he do??

Since we're only five minutes into the film, he watches as his master uses trickery to give the girl a sinus infection and make her sneeze and sneeze, until William at last says the magic words to save her on the third, and condemning himself.

William tries to run, but y'know, magic.  He gets caught pretty quick, and dangled from the air as the imp curses his entire family, and on his next 1000th birthday he promises to return for William's fairest offspring to claim.  Imagine if they were all dudes?  But with that, William's neck gets snapped, and the plot is off.

 Luck Harder

Luck Harder

After the movie scrolls through the visual history of William's family, we find ourselves in the present day as his descendant watches her boyfriend try and convince Silent Night Deadly Night 3's own Billy, Clint Howard himself, to go on a "Darkside Tour" of Hollywood.

He goes off in search of their driver, and finds Morty down at the local bar.  Which is where you always want to find the guy about to drive people around town.

Cody sees how drunk Mortimer is, and is faced with the dilema of giving the tour himself, or going on his promised date with Bridget.  He opts for the tour, because money.

They pass by the remains of Harry Houdini's mansion, and we follow a hobo onto the grounds as he takes a nap, and loses his bottle of whiskey to a nearby tree from Ireland.  No really, they put a handy sign on the side to tell you, otherwise the plot would make no sense.

Anyways, the tree drinks up the whiskey and out pops McEtrigan...and we're just gonna completely ignore the plot of the first movie and not explain how he survived the well?  Are we even going to mention that?  No?  Fine.

 Only you can prevent forest fires.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

He spies a gold tooth in his unintentional saviour's mouth, and calls on some tree friends to help hold him down.  Hey, be glad he doesn't know the trees from the Evil Dead movies.  And I suppose we're replacing his shoe obsession with a ramped up one for gold this time out.

After some emergency dentristy, we jump back to the tour, which becomes a date, as Cody and Bridget bail to go on their promised go-cart ride.  They visit their friend who works there, and we watch as something watches things from the corner, until it jumps out and scares everyone...but it was just a dog!  On the upside, at least it wasn't a cat, for a change.

But Cody drops off Bridget and heads back to the tour, and things don't seem to be too good between them.  Which is good for the guy working at the track, since he clearly has a thing for the blonde.

Cody's so upset by everything that he tries to rush through the tour, and gets pulled over by the cops.  Morty comes to take him home, and the hobo gets dragged in at the same time, ranting about the Leprechaun that stole his tooth.  Yay, the plots collide!

 Whoa, dude, you should get that looked at.

Whoa, dude, you should get that looked at.

Back with McEtrigan, he's trying to dowse his way to a bride, when he gets mistaken for a street performer.  He takes offense at being given a quarter, and not gold, and tears off the finger of the guy trying to pay him, to get at his gold ring.

This marks a number of changes from the first movie; first we have a bit more blood and gore just for the sake of it, which kinda punches up the proceedings.  The first film was admittedly lacking on that front.  He also starts punning here with, 'Finger licking good!"  The Leprechaun didn't say much the first time around, and this time he almost won't shut up.  The rhyming, the puns...with the latter, they are clearly trying to go for the latter day Freddy Krueger vibe.  If it hadn't been done so much before this movie, it would've been fine, but everyone else was doing it too.

Back with Cody, he's moping in his room over his stupidity, watching cheesy old movies, and sees an actress who bears a striking resemblence to his girlfriend.  You would think it's a plot point in the making, but it never comes up again.  We also have some time with Mortimer showing off his con man skills, and oh look another plot point that doesn't set anything up.  That was a series of pointless scenes!

Ian drops Bridget off at home, tries to hit on her, but she's not taking any of his crap.  And her giving him a punch when he tries to call her out as a tease instantly makes her a more successful feminist than Tory was the entire first movie.

But he gets called inside by Bridget moments later, and she begins seducing him...while we see that she's actually an illusion cast by McCopperfield to make the kid shove his face into a lawnmower that he thinks are breasts.

 The Lawnmower Woman

The Lawnmower Woman

It's time for Cody to show back up to try and make amends with a bunch of roses, and the Leprechaun uses the opportunity to get in Bridget's first fateful sneeze.  And she quickly follows them up with two more.  Huh.  I thought we'd drag that out for more than two minutes.

Cody gets attacked by the phone wrapping itself around his neck, and kids, remember when phones HAD cords?  Anyways, he slices himself free, but they've kinda noticed the little green man lurking in their kitchen.  Call the exterminator!

He claims his bride by actually giving up a piece of gold for her wedding ring.  By which I mean a solid gold locking choker that clamps around her neck.  He then magically drags her across the floor to kiss her, and c'mon, dude.  You couldn't walk the five feet to go do it?

Anyways, when he tries to kiss her, Bridget spills his pot of gold all over the floor, making him freak out and try and collect it all.  But a piece inexplicably rolls away, around a corner, and straight inbetween Cody's fingers.  The magic of plot convenience!

The couple tries to escape, but Lucky smashes Cody's foot and disappears with his bride, right after Cody tries throwing a fireplace poker at the imp.  Which makes his hand burn when he stops it.  Now, yes, I am well aware of the weakness of fairy folk to iron, but man is that out of left field without any setup anywhere in this movie, or the previous one's mythology.

 It's a fixer-upper.

It's a fixer-upper.

McEtrigan takes Bridget back to his lair beneath the tree and before they can consumate their relationship, he offers her some whiskey.  Fortunately she clobbers him with a rock and runs away.  Unfortunately she doesn't run up the stairs that are RIGHT THERE and instead runs around the maze-like hallways until she finds the skeleton of her acnestor hanging on the wall.  Oh, and the Leprechaun too.  So much for escape.

He wraps her up like a burlap burrito and tells her of his plans to have many children with her, and threatens her with alterations for the litter, and to her face, and yeah.  She kinda starts freaking out.  Having gold dumped on top of her and rubbed around probably doesn't help any.

That's when Scrooge McLuck realises that he's missing the coin that landed by chance in Cody's hands, and rushes off to find it.  With Bridget begging to not leave her tied up and let her plot her escape...er, make herself look pretty for their wedding night.

 Well now, that doesn't sound suspicious at all!

Well now, that doesn't sound suspicious at all!

Now, the Leprechaun ends up back at Bridget's house and that makes sense, but I have no idea how Bridget runs down a random hall and ends up there.  Sure, they said 'a leprechaun's house holds many secrets' but that is a real crap explanation.

On top of that, the cops have arrived and discovered Ian's slashed up face and Cody's roses, so they have a suspect.  And now, so does the Leprechaun.  The police subplot is maybe a bit unnecessary to throw in on top of everything else, but I do like them actually acknowledging dead bodies.  Horror movies tend to gloss over that kinda thing.

Bridget tries to go through her front door, and ends up right back at Casa del Leprechaun, but starts gathering some stones for later.  Meanwhile, Cody's avoiding the cops and heads home to Morty.

Unsurprisingly, the con man doesn't believe the story of leprechauns and they use the chance to say all the various rules and regulations and weakness by saying it's all made up fairytale crap.  Just to prove it's not fake, Lucky decides to show up and smack Morty around.

 Your library books are overdue!

Your library books are overdue!

Cody offers Seamus his coin back for Bridget, but Morty dumps the bookcase on the imp, saying you can't trust leprechauns!  Didn't you read the book??  He became a believer REALLY fast!  But whatever, they escape down the fire escape.

The drunknamic duo duck into Morty's favourite bar, while avoiding all the cops there, and try to catch their breath.  And get a drink.  Cody waits in the bar when he sees the Leprechaun's feet coming after him...but no!  It's just Tony Cox putting in a fakeout scare guest role!  On the upside, I love Tony Cox, so I'll allow it.

But more than just a cool appearance, he flashes a gold tooth that makes Cody remember the drunk at the police station and that he saw the imp come out of a tree at Houdini's place.  Before they can rush off to save the girl though, Morty points out that McStalker has found them first.

 Time to stop drinking.

Time to stop drinking.

Morty uses his knowledge and manipulation skills to get the Leprechaun into a drinking contest, and has the barkeep hand him the bottle of the coloured water he was served earlier in the film to stay sober.  Yay setting up and paying SOMETHING off!

While Bridget fails to escape with her bag of rock breadcrumbs, Morty catches the Leprechaun briefly before he smashes a bottle over the con man's head and actually does escape.

Bridget raids a box she found with a bunch of trinkets inside, and comes across an awl to make stabby on her wedding night before her new husband can put something in her.  Meanwhile, Lucky is hitting up the local espresso bar to try and clear his head.  Unfortunately the guy closing up is a royal O'Douchebag, so he ends up dead before too long.

 Me every morning

Me every morning

Conman and Robin run to the go-kart place to steal the Leprechaun-sized safe they showed us earlier, but a security guard interrupts and keeps Morty busy, until McXyptlk shows up to join in.

That's when Cody appears waving the gold coin around and tricks the imp into trapping himself in the iron safe.  I suppose I shouldn't mention the safe he was hiding in from the first movie?  I guess that wasn't iron, huh?

But a leopard can't change his spots, and Morty sees an opportunity to get ahead.  He locks Cody in a supply closet to keep him out of the way, and tries to get three wishes out of the Leprechaun, starting with wanting his pot of gold.

Unfortunately for Morty, leprechauns are worse than genies when it comes to tricks, so the pot of gold begins appearing inside his belly.  Morty wishes for McLoki to be out of the safe, but Morty has to open the wrought iron door, so that's another wasted wish.

And can you guess what Morty's final wish was?  Did he wish for A) more wishes?  B) A younger body?  C) A cookie?  Or D) to get the gold out of his stomach?

If you guessed D then you are correct!  And you probably also figured that the Leprechaun tears it out the hard way, rather than magicking it out.

 It must have been something I ate.

It must have been something I ate.

Cody finally remembers to escape, but the cop has woken back up and tries to take him away.  McVentriloquist is there though, and calls to the cop as a young girl in danger.

And hey!  It's been awhile, but the sequel finally remembers one of the best tropes from the first movie, McAndretti's love of vehicles, and he grabs a go-kart for fun and murder!

He runs down the cop, and tries to run over Cody, but he instead drives right through.  Loophole!  He can't kill someone with a piece of his gold, and it instead must be given up freely.  I'm pretty sure the first movie ruins that, but oh well.

 Should he really be driving after all that whiskey?

Should he really be driving after all that whiskey?

The Leprechaun tries to run him over again, but disappears before actually hitting Cody.  Which leads Cody to a HILARIOUSLY over the top shouting declartion of vengeance.

Cody races into the final act as Bridget seduces and tries to use the awl on her wee husband, but it just crumples against his leathery hide.  He chains her up to a root and goes to deal with the kid.

Our hero stumbles around the cavern until he finds William's skeleton, which comes to life to try and get the coin back for his master.  Well, that's a hell of a way to meet the in-laws.

Cody fights off the skull and bones society, and after a few more pitfalls, he finally finds his girlfriend, who is busy trying to free herself.  She finally breaks the hinge of the choker, and the two run off to try and escape.

Everyone runs around like it's a Scooby Doo hotel hallway, with everyone getting nowhere fast.  Seriously, this place is worse than the TARDIS.

 Damned hobbits.

Damned hobbits.

The couple gets seperated for a moment, and when Bridget runs back into her boyfriend, she insists she found a way out, and that Cody leave the coin behind so McStalker will leave them alone.  Gee, could this possibly be a trick?

And wouldn't you know it?  Cody actually IS that dumb, and gives NotBridget the coin.  I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book!  What a goof!  What's with you man??

The Leprechaun tosses Cody aside and he gets stabbed with his own inanimate iron rod.  But wait!  Cody pulls out a page from the horror villain handbook, and is Not Really Dead!  He leaps up, shoves the rod into the Leprechaun, and reveals the coin he gave back was actually one of the chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil he got earlier from Tony Cox!

TONY COX SAVES THE DAY!

 Iron rods are not magically delicious!!

Iron rods are not magically delicious!!

With that, McIndigestion explodes into bloody pieces, and our heroes walk out of the tree.  I get that the Leprechaun is *ahem* dead and the magic of the place is toast, but I kinda hate that after all that they just walk out, y'know?

But they walk off into the sunset and Cody tosses the coin, and so everyone lived happily ever after, except for all the ones who died.

AUTOPSY REPORT

Video: This looks solid, with good colour and shadows, and hey, bonus having one of these looking good in widescreen.

Audio: Solid enough stereo mix.

Sound Bite: "Pour all ye want, pour all ye can, you'll never beat me, because I'm a leprechaun!"  Well, he's no e.e. cummings...but he IS drunk.

Body Count

1 - William gets his neck snapped by the Leprechaun and cursed to boot, 5:30 minutes into the movie.
2 - Ian gets a facefull by kissing a lawnmower.
3 - Idiot at the coffee shop gets the wrong end of the cappucino machine in the face.
4 - I guess Morty isn't immortal with his stomach being distended and torn wide open.
5 - Unless proven otherwise, I'm assuming the Leprechaun ran over and killed the cop with his go-kart.
6 - Technically the Leprechaun dies when he explodes from an iron rod in the chest.  But we'll see how that goes.

Best Corpse: Several of the deaths are very creative this time out, and I am torn between a pair of them, but the winning body goes to Morty.  You care about the guy, and the pot-shaped stomach, and tearing into it to retrieve the gold was well done.

Blood Type - A: Some great use of blood here, a lot more than the first one, and some amazing makeup and effects to get the job done.

Sex Appeal: A fake Bridget goes briefly topless to seduce Ian into the lawnmower.

Sights and Sounds: Watch Cody loudly declare his game plan to find the Leprechaun after he realises the powers of his coin.

Drink Up! Join in on the St. Patrick's Day celebration and drink along with the characters!

Movie Review: It is definitely a step up from the first movie.  They took the stuff that worked, made the Leprechaun more of a character, with more personality, and not just there being mean and "I want me gold!" all the time.  Making the villain more of a guy is a huge step up.  Especially since Warwick Davis is so capable of handling this stuff.  But doing so through rhyme also makes things a little sillier to boot, so there's a trade-off.  And with some pretty rough acting throughout almost the entire movie, I'd say it ends up being pretty much a wash on the pros and cons from the first film, giving a decent enough if flawed three out of five solid gold chokers.

Entertainment Value: Getting the movie off the farm, with more varied settings, and more varied characters helps.  The movie realised it shouldn't take itself too seriously, and tossing in weird, quirky, over the top characters is a plus.  Cody and Bridget are there mostly as straight men for the proceedings with wince-worthy acting at times, but Morty is a goldmine of a find.  He is so fun whenever he's on screen, and just plays things perfectly.  Dropping in Tony Cox and Clint Howard, and a few others, make things so much more entertaining and fun and quirky.  All in all things kinda balance out, and I would say Leprechaun 2 is just about equal with the first, so four out of five ancestral brides.