Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo (1995)

FROSTBITER: WRATH OF THE WENDIGO

WRITER: Tom Chaney

DIRECTOR: Tom Chaney

STARRING: Ron Asheton as Gary

Lori Baker as Sandy

Patrick Butler as Peter

Devlin Burton as Leo Phillips

Tom Franks as Tony

Alan Madlane as Nick

John Bussard as Jerry

David Wogh as Dave

John "Duke" Mietalka as Duke

Mike Missler as The Guardian

QUICK CUT: A hunting trip goes awry when someone tromps over into private property.

THE MORGUE

Sandy - A young woman swept up in destiny, who just wants to get this over with. It says a lot about her that she just dives in to trying to solve this problem with little to no information.

Gary - A drunk hunter who thinks none of the rules apply to him, and will blame anyone he can for his own faults.

Pete - Just your average guy who wants to get out of this movie.

Uhh, I think he left like ten minutes ago?

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! December is here, it's getting colder, and so I decided to take a look at Frostbiter, a movie about a bunch of claymation monsters tormenting people in the forest. If you are thinking, "Well, that sounds a lot like Winterbeast" you are correct! And spoilers, the two go very well together, but we'll get there. And if you are paying attention, yes, this is also the seventh anniversary since I covered Winterbeast.

Also, yes, the title card says "Wendigo", but it's official and more common name is "Frostbiter". And because there are some potential cultural appropriation issues with the former name, I am going to try and stick to calling it the latter. And I apologise for the two jokes I do make.

The movie opens up with narration from a Robert Englund knock off, explaining the backstory. In short, he encountered the creature which won’t be named, and managed to survive the encounter. He used his knowledge of the legends to erect a mystical barrier around the gateway between worlds, made up of the skulls of the creature's victims. But this also cursed him to remain as the guardian of the portal should the circle ever be broken.

Dear Diary, Odo harassed me once again in my bar...

We then find ourselves on Manitou Island in Michigan, with a couple of drunken hunters, drunkenly hunting signs.

They see a keep out sign and shoot it, because "There ain't no private property while we're here!" Speaking of white men appropriating things...

Gary and his friend come across the Guardian's cabin, and you would think if the keep out signs didn't warn them off, the skulls might, but not Gary!

His friend is ready to leave, but Gary wants to Gary things up. The old man comes out to try and stop the hunter, but Gary just gets more belligerent and threatens the Guardian with his rifle.

Gary shoots one of the skulls, and then the old man when he is surprised. At least, I'm sure that's what he'll tell his lawyer.

They move the dying man into his cabin, and Gary wants to dispose of the body. In the middle of winter. On an island.

But no worries! The Guardian is biodegradable, and takes care of the problem for the boys, as he turns into a skeleton right before their eyes!

Oh would you look at me, I’m just skin and bones…

The spirit of the Frostbiter or whatever possesses the skeleton, as all the windows blow out, and it attacks the men.

Eventually, they are attacked by RaimiCam, while Gary smacks the skeleton away from his friend, giving him a moment to breathe.

But only a moment, as a giant blue hand reaches through one of the windows and grabs the other hunter, dragging him off.

Sadly, his clay double does not get smashed against the side of the cabin.

Meanwhile, back on the mainland, Sandy is visited by the Guardian in her dreams, as he randomly passes down to her the sacred duty of protecting the gateway, and completing the circle before the creature can escape. Into every generation, a Guardian is born.

Back on the island, we meet another group of hunters, because this movie is in sore need of canon fodder to keep the plot rolling for the next hour. Another member of the group shows up, with a new guy he wants to introduce, Leo. Oh, and he's black.

The trio are surprised by this, and before this can get any more racially charged, they welcome the newcomer to the power table. Phew.

I’m gonna need you boys to turn the plaid down to about a low seven.

At any moment, someone is gonna walk by those windows waving tree branches, I just know it.

Back at the mainland, Sandy shows up at Duke's charter plane service thing, wanting to book a flight out to the island. Unfortunately, there is a huge snowstorm coming. Fortunately, Sandy throws money at the problem to get Duke to fly anyways.

While they fly to the island, Sandy is visited again by the ghost of Guardians Past, and he warns her of Frostbiter's sentinels, that will try and stop here and…okay, slow down, we are getting a few too many X-Men related names here.

That's when the first sentinel attacks, humping the plane, trying to get it out of the sky. The creature eventually sticks its head into the plane, and pops the pilot's head off like a dandelion.

C’mon, baby, ditch these losers, I’ll show you a good time!

While the plane crashes, Gary finds the other hunters in the cabin while they sleep. He starts throwing their shit around to try and barricade the door from whatever is chasing him at the moment.

Everyone wakes up to confront the weirdo, and they have an energetic talk about the wendigo legends which are questionable at best, and racist at worst.

Leo gets up and starts making some chili to wake everyone up, and that's when the creatures strike. Something possesses the chili, and bites Leo's hand clean off, and while Jerry tries to eat some of it, he bursts into flames from the heat.

Still less deadly than Green Arrow’s chili.

Naturally, Leo now agrees with Gary, and wants to get off this island. He knows what kinda movie he's in, and he does not want to be the black guy when the bigger monsters show up. But they know Duke isn't going to show up 'til the morning, and everyone gives way to hysterics, which I actually appreciate. You don't see this level of panic from a buncha dudes that often.

While they set Jerry down on a cot after snuffing the flames, Gary tosses the chili outside. There's a weird cut where everyone settles down, and Leo has suddenly left the cabin, without actually seeing him leave. I wonder what happened there.

Suddenly, they hear a scream outside, and Pete opens the door. A frightened woman rushes in, and tells her about her and her boyfriend being attacked, and you should be able to smell the bullshit all the way from the mainland.

The movie doesn't waste any time trying to fool us either, as she immediately starts complaining about the heat, and stripping her clothes off.

It's not long before one of the guys recognises her from one of the girlie mags someone brought to the cabin, and they know this is another trick.

Well, I guess that's one cheap way to sneak gratuitous breasts into your movie. I've seen worse.

Anyways, once they realise it's a trick, they toss a blanket over her to try and contain her, or more accurately, so they can swap out for the transformed monster version.

They tussle with the she-creature, and if you don't pick up on how very Evil Dead inspired this movie is at this point of the movie, you can glimpse the Evil Dead 2 poster on the wall. This movie proudly wears its influences.

Morning comes, and Sandy is shuffling about the island in the snow to try and find anything useful. And the boys have found Leo and are heading back to the cabin.

They find the crashed plane, and see Sandy's blood trail, hoping it's Duke. While Gary and Leo go see, Tony checks the plane for a radio, hoping to call for help. Instead, he gets attacked by Duke's headless body.

Gary and Leo find Sandy's body, and Gary makes Leo carry her back to the cabin, while he goes to see what's keeping Tony. We already know Gary sucks, and now he’s making the dude with one hand drag around an unconscious woman.

Meanwhile, we cut away to a tv broadcast, revealing this takes place near Bedford Falls, connecting it to It's a Wonderful Life. What have I told you about making me think of a better movie during your crappy movie??

You know, they cut away to these news reports several times, and they are really long, and don't add much of anything to the plot. They practically scream padding, which makes sense, since this movie doesn't even reach 90 minutes as is.

Back at the cabin, crispy critter has passed away, and they decide to put him in a coffin and stick him outside to preserve him until they can properly do somet...wait, where did the box come from?? Somehow, this is the most inexplicable part of the movie.

Everyone gets back to the cabin finally, and they try and figure out what to do with no way out. While they're doing that, the chili outside is reconstituting itself like it's a meaty T-1000.

So we spend a bit of time fighting off the chili gremlins, which I seriously need to see fight the Cheddar Goblin from Mandy, but I digress.

While the chili chokeout is going down, Sandy wakes up to lend a hand, and they eventually take care of them all, resuming the argument about what to do next.

She explains why she's there, asking the remaining men for help, since they know the island. They're not really down for that, and Pete tries to make it across the ice.

Gary finds a random hunter in the woods, and recounts most of the plot so far, until the Rando slaps him for talking nonsense. He tells Gary to go see a doctor, but...he IS the doctor Pagliacci!

The hunters hear gunshots, and go rushing towards them to see if it's Gary or Tony or Pete or who knows. What they end up finding is some dude sliced in half and pinned to a tree.

Hey! Who cut off my legs? Hey! Who cut off my legs?

Back at the cabin, Sandy is waiting for anyone to return, and suddenly her mom appears! And unlike the guys who somehow cottoned to the hot naked chick being the creature pretty quick, Sandy instantly assumes her mom was sent by James Hudson to help her.

A clue: She was not.

Fortunately, she doesn't waste any time revealing herself either. Weirdly enough though, despite literally having the one person who can stop the creature in her arms, she instead backs out of the cabin and gets shot by Sandy. Like, seriously, the creature could have ended this right here and now.

There is playing with your enemy, and then there's just being stupid.

Gary shows up, and Sandy reveals what she needs to do, and hey! He knows where the circle is! Oh, right, BECAUSE HE BROKE IT!

Frostbiter shows up and starts banging on the model cabin, and the two frantically scramble around trying not to get hit with falling objects.

Pete suddenly returns to the plot, half frozen, and again, we are way too trusting of everyone wandering out of the cold. But to keep this from getting any longer, it's actually Pete.

Unfortunately, Frostbiter yanks Gary out of the cabin and smashes him against the walls. Ungrateful stag creature!

Aww this Gary is under the legal size, I'll have to throw him back.

If I had a quarter for every movie I've seen where a claymation monster smashes a claymation person against the cabin they were just yanked out of, I'd have two quarters.

Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice!

Pete's suffering from hypothermia, and Sandy crawls into bed with him to warm him up, as time ticks away.

Gary's corpse crawls through the door to taunt and threaten, and Sandy knows they have to make a run for it and find the circle.

As Frostbiter's powers grow, all the dead rise up with a taste for human flesh, because sure, let's make this a zombie movie.

So, with time ticking away to sunrise when Frostbiter will be free, Sandy and Pete arm up and make their way to the Guardian's cabin and the circle.

But by the time they arrive at the cabin, it explodes, and the gateway opens. Sandy is sure there must be another skull around here somewhere, for no particular reason besides the plot.

However, she does find the Guardian's skull, and I guess that will do.

Meanwhile, Pete is distracting the creature, and just as he's about to get squished or worse, Leo actually walks back into the plot to be a second distraction.

Sandy completes the circle, and Frostbiter charges her. Pete steps in the way to defend her, and gets flung off into the forest, never to be seen again.

The Guardian's force ghost shows up to send the beast back to the pit it crawled out of, calling to Sandy to help, because she has magical powers now too. Sure, why not.

Sandy and Gramps blast the creature to tiny chunks of clay, and as she and Leo walk off into the sunrise, the Guardian tells her she is free to go, but someday the beast may return.

Wait wait, so why isn't SHE cursed to guard the circle forever? Why can she just...leave? Was that an option for the other guy? Am I far too late to be questioning this movie's logic?

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: This looks pretty great. The video is crisp, and there might be a few moments here and there, and the sharpness does the model shots no favours, but it still looks better than you might expect.

Audio: Has a solid mix.

Sound Bite: “I've done more stupid things, for a lot less money."

Body Count: Pretty high by percentage, that’s for sure. Not counting the random townsfolk in the news reports.

1 - Just short of six minutes, and the guardian gets shot

2 - Dave gets dragged off and his head ripped off

3 - One of the sentinels eats the pilot.

4 - Jerry dies from his burning

5 - Random hunter gets Wendigone

6 - Some guy is found with his face eaten off.

7 - Tony had his neck crushed by Duke’s corpse off camera

8 - Gary gets smacked around by the Frostbiter

9 - Pete gets flung around

Best Corpse: Gary gets it, he gets a bit gooey, he has some fun stuff crawling around, carrying his liver or his heart or something, and then he gets shot.

Blood Type - B+: There’s quite a bit of blood here, and there’s some very good creature effects, from the claymation to the makeup.

Sex Appeal: Some brief breasts from the Shebiter.

Drink Up! Every time Gary blames things on someone else.

Movie Review: This was really enjoyable, and a lot of fun. It is, hopefully unintentionally, a more polished Winterbeast. Which is both a good and bad thing. It’s good, because Winterbeast is a mess. This movie is more coherent, and thus a bit easier to follow so you can enjoy the weirdness. And the downside is that Winterbeast’s lack of polish is a large part of its fun, if not charm. This one being a bit more straightforward, and things feeling more motivated, does lessen it on that level. Still, it’s well made, with some hammy, campy acting, so that’s something. One big problem is the choice of music drowning out a lot of the dialogue. Three out of five sentinels.

Entertainment Value: Thankfully, it’s not TOO polished. You can tell how very staged this all is. No one here is a great actor. Gary is hamming it up like no one’s business. He’s at an 11 the entire time, and very excitable. But it’s charmingly bad, and you can tell everyone is trying. The monsters are all creative and delightful, and the effects are a highlight. I wish there was a bit more of the sentinels, honestly. It does feel a bit light on plot, with everyone just running around until OH the skull is in place now, but the movie throws enough at you to keep you distracted. If not for the news reports dragging things down, it would be a lot higher. Four out of five bowls of chili.