Uncle Sam (1996) — Triskaidekafiles

UNCLE SAM

WRITER: Larry Cohen

DIRECTOR: William Lustig

STARRING: David Shark Fralick as Sam Harper

Leslie Neale as Sally Baker

Anne Tremko as Louise Harper

Christopher Ogden as Jody Baker

Isaac Hayes as Jed Crowley

QUICK CUT: A soldier’s body is sent home, and a family grieves amidst their town’s July 4th celebrations.

THE MORGUE

Jody - A young boy who worships his soldier uncle, who disappeared in battle several years ago. He’s all into the greatness of America, and will not hear anything bad about it.

Sam Harper - Jody’s uncle, back from the dead, and slashing his way through town to get vengeance on those who have wronged him, and his country.

Sally - Jody’s mom, and Sam’s brother. She has internalised trauma from dealing with her abusive brother, and has kept his secrets more than she should.

Louise - Sam’s wife, also a target of his abuse, and very relieved he has been dead for the last three years.

Jed - Another local soldier who filled Sam’s head with the glory days of being in war, and has turned against the system as things have become murkier in recent years.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Happy July, Triskelions! In honour of the holiday weekend, I tracked down and decided to talk about the late 90s slasher, Uncle Sam. It's the story of a soldier who is killed by friendly fire, and when his body returns home, he rises from his slumber to wreak havoc upon his home town. As one does.

We open the movie up in a gravel pit doubling for Kuwait, just as a group of soldiers comes upon the wreckage of Sam Harper's downed helicopter. At the mention of friendly fire, the major gets angry and tells the men to stop that talk. These things happen.

Sam's charred body, either not dead or briefly reanimated, snaps the nearby soldier's neck, takes his gun, and kills the major. And I only say it is unclear what his situation is, because he is declared dead, and shipped home in a coffin. And now that' I’ve seen the movie a few times, it becomes clear that he’s supposed to be dead, and they’ve found his body after it sat there in the desert for three years.

From there we jump to the town of Twin Rivers, on...hey! July 1st! Good timing, me! Ahem. And we get to meet Sam's family; his sister who is afraid of him, and his nephew who idolizes him. Shocker, Sam was a violent, and abusive person, and his going off to war was the best thing that could happen to them.

Jody, however, was too young to remember much of his uncle’s cruelty, so only has good memories. He is determined to grow up just like his dad. He worships him, the army, and anyone who dares to speak out against America's perfection has to be dealt with!!

...Uhhh. I dunno how political I wanna get here. Because I am sure this kid is gonna grow up to storm the Capitol on January 6th.

We also meet Sam's wife, who is probably the happiest he's out of the picture. Since he's been missing and presumed dead for awhile, she's been hooking up with the local sheriff. So when Sargeant Twinnings shows up and tells her they finally found Sam's body, she is probably very relieved.

Also in town for the upcoming 4th of July celebrations is Sergeant Jed Crowley, one of the men who inspired Sam, and played by Isaac Hayes.

Would you like to try his chocolate salty balls?

The movie is gonna settle into a long period of just doing average stuff for the next half hour or so, which I am gonna try and skim past and just give y'all the highlights, so we can get to the good stuff.

Jody heads to school, and tells his class about his uncle. The teacher ends up getting grilled by the kid for not participating in the war.

And this is pretty much where we get the bulk of Jody's very uncomfortable politics. Now, knowing this is a movie from the guy that did Maniac Cop, I know it's likely deliberate satire to make a point, but still. Oof.

Speaking of, once Sam is brought home, and they store the coffin in the family's living room until they inter it, and we see more of how crispy he is, I cannot help but think of Cordell from the Maniac Cop movies.

We spend a little more time, as Sally’s new boyfriend, the accountant Ralph, comes over for dinner, and Sam hates how he makes a career out of cheating the government out of tax money.

The wake finally arrives, and that's when we really bring Jed into the plot. Jody tells him all about how he wants to join the army and follow in Sam's bootsteps, and Jed goes a bit off on the kid. Rightly so.

Man, Destro must have gone and pissed EVERYone off today.

Yeah, like I said, the first half of this movie does a LOT of sitting around and talking. It's certainly not bad, but the moralising (on both sides) is a bit heavy handed, and you get itchy waiting for stuff to happen.

But finally, as midnight chimes on July 4th, Sam starts to wake up, while a trio of kids are causing mischief in a nearby cemetery. Like burning a flag and letting the ashes fall into Sam’s waiting grave.

Sam grabs his medals that Jody has cherished and kept close, and pins them straight into his flesh. That's actually a nice touch I rather like.

Did I hear u talkin’ shit about Murica??

Before Sam can deal with the kids, he hunts down the local Uncle Sam, and the chase with the kid in costume and stilts is pretty funny.

But soldier Sam catches up with Uncle Sam, kills him, takes his costume, sans stilts, so he can more easily blend in, and not look like a walking corpse.

Faster than you can say "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle" Sam is dressed as his namesake, and finally takes care of two of those punk kids.

The morning finally comes, and the town is getting ready for the big parade, starting at the school. The 'cowardly' teacher, Mr. Crandall is trying to wrangle the kids, and little George Washington has lost his hatchet.

So, Crandall heads into the school, loudly wondering where the hatchet is and...look. We've all seen Friday the 13th part four, and we all know what happens if you loudly ask where a potential murder weapon is. If you keep asking for the corkscrew, you’re gonna get the corkscrew.

I could question why they're keeping a legit sharp hatchet around and handing it to kids, but eh, whatever.

Meanwhile, another family is heading to the parade, with their kid who is handicapped and blind after a fireworks incident last year. Oh, and he's Jody's friend. Feels a bit late in the game for this big of a character to be dropped on us.

At the celebration, the third punk kid is called up to sing the national anthem. And he does such a mockingly good job of it, Roseanne Barr is even mortified.

If you haven't picked up on the pattern by now, if you spit on the hospitality and greatness of America, then Uncle Sam is coming for you. Don’t worry, Jesse will get his soon.

While the mayor tries to salvage the situation, Sam comes up to Barry in his wheelchair, and promises he will make those who hurt him suffer.

My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.

I gotta say, compounding the weirdness of bringing Barry in at this stage, it's doubly weird to have Sam bond with the random new character in this deep, meaningful way. And not, y’know, his nephew.

The local congressman also rolls into town to make a PR appearance after a bit of a disaster, and suddenly the sheriff has a daughter manning the grill and hacking up ribs before Sam steals her cleaver. Again, really weird to drop all these characters in the final act.

We get up to some celebration shenanigans with a sack race that Jesse is in, until he sneaks off the trail, and ends up rolling down a hill. Which is actually a pretty solid stunt, and looks good.

As he tries to find his way back to the path, Jesse runs into Sam, and loses his head thanks to that missing cleaver.

Sam then catches his wife making doe eyes at the sheriff, and well, that's gonna come back to haunt him later.

To blow off some steam though, he goes to the duck shoot carnival game that's set up, and steals the rifle, Because he needs to grab any weapon that turns up.

Oh, and then we suddenly cut to Ralph sitting on his parade float, and shot in the head. I am really not a fan of this running trend where Sam finds a weapon, and suddenly we see someone is just dead. I feel like we're missing a lot.

While the investigation goes on, the ladies finally tell Jody about the awful things his uncle Same did, and he fights it at first, but comes around. And it's the start of tearing apart his hero worship of Sam.

But Jody gets sent on his way when Louise's new boyfriend shows up, to tell them that they've found another body, which has no head.

The mayor finally speaks to the crowd and does the usual "nothing to see here, keep having a good time" routine, and gives the congressman his introduction to award the winner of the chili cook off.

But the congressman has gone missing, and he suddenly appears when they light off the fireworks show, and we see him strapped to the platform. The man proceeds to go boom very nicely.

And again, the congressman is just suddenly all tied up and exploded. The flow of this movie is so off.

The deputy rushes to try and save him, but the explosions send him spilling down a hill.

Fortunately, Sam is there to catch him. Unfortunately, it's done with the pointy end of a flagpole.

I'm not sick but I'm not well, and I'm so hot 'cause I'm in Hell

With the fireworks wreaking havoc, Barry's parents wanna get him out of there before we have a repeat, and Jody gives them a hand.

As Mister Cronin gets his wife in the car, the boys chat, they know it's the Uncle Sam guy, and they figure out its Jody's literal uncle Sam.

Jed shows up to help them leave, and they try to tell him who it is. And while he's not instantly on board, he is quickly convinced.

They rush back to Jody's house, and check the coffin. Sam's body is missing, but the coffin is far from empty, as they find Major Twinnings' corpse stuffed inside.

Figuring Sam's next target is to get his wife back, they all hurry over to her place next, to try and protect her.

Jed tries to go on his own, but the kids insist on coming along, saying that he won't hurt anyone as long as they're around, because he thinks they're on his side. ...That...that uh, would be nice information to have established more in the previous hour of the movie.

He has but two lives to give to his country.

Sam's already there though, and after his wife uselessly emptying a full clip into him, Jody sends Jed off to fetch the cannon. Because if bullets didn't work, surely a cannonball will. I guess?

Jody keeps his uncle busy while the others try and lug the thing to the house. It's a good scene where the boy confronts the soldier with his moral stance, and how he's a big hypocrite. And it's a good way to show Jody's growth.

Cutting to the chase, they get the cannon placed outside, Jody lures his uncle outside, and things go boom.

On the one hand, cannoballs don't work that way, there's nothing there to explode like that, but hey, it's a giant, awesome looking fireball. So I'll allow it.

The next day, Jody is getting rid of all his soldier toys, and memorabilia of Sam, and setting it all on fire. It's a good coda to the movie, and really underlines the coming of age and moving on from his notions of heroism and patriotism.

Well, until a final moment where he gives a weird smirk, and there's sinister music before the credits roll. So that was weird.

No longer am I the Uncle Sam you knew. I am fire and patriotism incarnate. Jingoism made flesh. Now and forever, I am UNCLE PHOENIX

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: This looks pretty good. It’s well shot, well filmed, and the colours have some good pop to it.

Audio: I was picking up some nice rumblings in the rear speakers, which is always nice.

Sound Bite: "I wanted to be like you." "You have to be dead, first."

Body Count: Some of them may be out of nowhere, but Sam definitely delivers in this department.

1 - Not counting the corpses in the downed helicopter, Sam snaps a soldier's neck at about 2:30.

2 - And then shoots the general

3 - Willie? gets sheared and killed by Sam for his clothes.

4 - One of the punks/Rick gets buried alive.

5 - Another of the punks gets run up the flagpole

6 - Sam axes Mr. Crandel in the face

7 - Jesse gets his head cleaved off

8 - Sam shoots Ralph in the head

9 - Sheriff's daughter gets her face grilled.

10 - Congressman goes up in smoke

11 - Mike gets impaled

12 - Sargeant foud dead in Sam's coffin.

13 - Sam goes boom

1 - Not counting the corpses in the downed helicopter, Sam snaps a soldier's neck at about 2:30.

2 - And then shoots the general

3 - Willie? gets sheared and killed by Sam for his clothes.

4 - One of the punks/Rick gets buried alive.

5 - Another of the punks gets run up the flagpole

6 - Sam axes Mr. Crandall in the face

7 - Jesse gets his head cleaved off

8 - Sam shoots Ralph in the head

9 - Sheriff's daughter gets her face grilled.

10 - Congressman goes up in smoke

11 - Mike gets impaled

12 - Sergeant found dead in Sam's coffin.

13 - Sam goes boom

Best Corpse: Some good choices to pick from here, but I think Jesse gets my vote this week. I am a sucker for a well done decapitation. And the head looks REALLY good.

Peak Corpse: They figure shit is going down when they discover Ralph’s body.

Blood Type - B: There’s a bit of blood here and there, nothing TOO graphic, aside from a few points, but the blood is brought in nicely when needed, and then there’s that decapitation. Bloody and a good head mold. Rotten Sam looks a bit dodgy and rubbery, but it comes across well enough.

Sex Appeal: Nothing to see here.

Drink Up! Every time Sam gets a new weapon.

Movie Review: Oh, this genuinely comes So Close at times. But as I am sure my readers picked up on, there is a big lack of focus at times in this movie, It’s all over the place, it feels like it’s missing story beats. It’s trying for a bit of that same Maniac Cop sort of satire, that never quite fully gels as much as it really needs to. It’s there, but it doesn’t quite stick the landing. But the core of the movie is there, it definitely makes sense, and even with a bloated third act with a lot of new characters, it still has a lot of momentum going for it. I can’t quite put my finger on what went wrong, but the reach of this movie for what it WANTS to be is clear, it just misses that mark. Three out of five ammo boxes.

Entertainment Value: They try and have Sam be a wisecracker, and it just does not work. If they could’ve pulled it off a bit more, it would have added a lot to this movie. There’s some amusement to be had with his antics, the kills are pretty good across the board, and there’s a few laughs, but nothing too stand out. Three out of five fireworks.