Robot Ninja (1989) — Triskaidekafiles

ROBOT NINJA

WRITER: J.R. Bookwalter

DIRECTOR: J.R. Bookwalter

STARRING: Michael Todd as Leonard Miller

Bogdan Pecic as Dr. Hubert Goodknight

Maria Markovic as Gody Sanchez

Floyd Ewing, Jr. as Officer Hickox

Bill Morrison as Buddy Revelle

James L. Edwards as Sculley

QUICK CUT: A comic book artist isn’t happy with the direction his creation is going when it’s adapted for television, so takes things into his own hands.

THE MORGUE

Leonard - The current comic book artist star, having created the next big thing, that is being adapted for tv. He’s your typical artist with his ego, and with added bonus that he wants to be a hero.

Dr. Goodknight - Lenny’s best friend, and an inventor, tinkerer, and engineer. He’s always up for a challenge.

Gody - The leader of a group of thugs that are terrorising Ridgway. She’s the boss, she has no regard for other’s lives, and will do whatever to get what she wants.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! This week, no lengthy blahdeblah, just a mildly obscure movie from the late 80s that I'd heard a lot about over the years, and finally decided to get into; Robot Ninja!

The movie opens up with our titular Robot Ninja busting in on some goons, and just tearing through them. Yeah! Now this is what I wanna see from a movie called Robot Ninja!

But that joy is short lived, and it's just a tv show adaptation of the Robot Ninja comics, produced by Burt Ward to be campy and silly. Shame, Burt! You should know better!

We then meet Leonard Miller, the creator of Robot Ninja, as he finds the people in charge of the show, and expresses his extreme displeasure in what has been done to it. This is NOT what I want from a movie titled Robot Ninja!

Actually, I poke fun, but I love yanking that rug of expectations.

Meanwhile, a couple gets kidnapped by some local gangbangers, and they're just about to get assaulted, when Sculley's van breaks down, just in time for Leonard to pull up nearby.

Lenny interferes, and it does not go well, as the couple get murdered, and he gets knocked around pretty good, before the cops show up.

He uses the incident to inspire his next Robot Ninja comic, but his publisher doesn't care for it, because he's supposed to be making light, silly, pabulum to match the tv show.

But all this isn't enough for Leonard, and after he sees another news report about more people being assaulted and raped, he hits upon an idea.

I don't think that outfit is workplace appropriate.

He grabs some sketches, and rushes over to his friend and inventor, Doctor Goodknight, to design him a real life Robot Ninja suit so he can seek out the people responsible for the crime in his city.

Ah yes, the timeless tale of a man seeking revenge when a criminal kills his...two completely random people he never met before, but just so happened to be standing nearby when they were killed

The doctor is hesitant at first, because this idea is out there, but Goodknight likes a challenge. So we get an art and construction montage, eventually building to the reveal of Lenny in the suit of his creation.

You merely adopted the dark, I was born in it

Leonard is all pumped up, feeling invincible, not seeing how he can lose, and this is one part that I am underwhelmed by. Dude's not really wearing much of anything I'd call armour, he has a pair of claws, and...that's it. I’m not even sure what he needed Dr. Goodknight for, there’s no technology in this beyond a voice changer.

Eager to get to work, Lenny says sleep be damned, grabs some caffeine pills or something similar, and heads out on his first patrol.

And almost immediately, he hits paydirt when he finds the same thugs from the other night at a video store, having killed the guy behind the register, and taking some random kid and his sister hostage.

Despite my misgivings, Robot Ninja does a fairly decent job on his first outing. He manages to kill one of the thugs, and the rest run off. Unfortunately, the the kid gets killed in the process.

The press assumes the worst, that he is responsible for both of them being killed, despite Christopher's death being an accident when he's shoved to the ground by one of the thugs.

And there is also a weirdly annoying bit when the newspaper headline says Robot Ninja responsible for killing one person, and immediately the actual article says two dead at his hand. Hnnng.

The next night, Robot Ninja takes to the streets once again, hopped up on drugs to keep him going as he continues his hunt for vengeance.

Gody brought more backup with her this time, and she sends the entire crew to bum rush the masked vigilante.

He takes out one of them, but they have strength in numbers, and they overpower him. See my previous points, as they punch the shit out of him, stab him and slice giant gashes into him.

I love how 'real' this is. He's a normal guy, he gets his ass HANDED to him, because he has ZERO clue what he's doing or how to fight, and he makes tons of mistakes.

Before they can finish the job and make this an even shorter movie, the cops show up and everyone scatters. Leonard heads back to Goodknight's, and uses the equipment there to affect repairs.

Leonard sits there and shoves tubes into his damaged arm, and I am sorry, but biology does not work that way!! I take back those earlier comments, because so much for this being 'realistic'!

This goes on for a bit as Lenny defies the laws of biology and medical knowledge, and just...SHOVES A GIANT METAL PLATE IN HIS LE...ok fine, you know what, fine.

He heads home, cramming more pills down his face, and reworks his ending to Robot Ninja, having failed miserably to recreate what he had drawn.

The next day, Goodknight wakes up, finds his workshop bathed in blood and a bit of a disaster. Before he can really take this all in though, the thugs show up. They followed Lenny there the night before, and erroneously assume the doc is Robot Ninja.

As they kill Goodknight, Leonard keeps taking pills and finishes working on the comic, and finally heads back out to finish the mission.

Thanks to a ridiculous amount of meds, a lack of sleep, and copious blood loss, Leonard begins having visions of demons attacking him, so this is all going quite well.

He visits Goodknight's and finds his corpse, and a note left by Gody. The note tells him to meet them at the junkyard.

So Robot Ninja limps his way to the junkyard, and I gotta say, Jack Kirby coulda kicked all their asses, without any kinda super suit.

However, Leonard still manages to kill Sculley, despite coming apart at the literal seams, and running on fumes and drugs. And then Gody goes all Joker on Jason Todd on his ass, with a crowbar.

A cop shows up, and robs Robot Ninja of his actual vengeance though, as he kills Gody instead of Leonard.

While the cop is distracted, Miller heads home, collapses to the ground, and kills himself. His mission is complete, his life's work is complete, and even includes this event, since he knew this was the only way it could end.

It is a very heavy ending, very dark, and while I was already enjoying this, it elevates the movie even further, because this movie that was already more than you'd expect, takes a shockingly bleak turn in this examination of superheroes.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: Now, for this, I watched the recently restore Blu Ray version, and it looks pretty good, considering the source.

Audio: It sounds good too, and has a good surround mix.

Sound Bite: "I am the Robot Ninja, and I kick ass!"

Body Count: This movie definitely delivers in the death department!

1 - About 13 minutes deep and the gang shoots Susan as she tries to escape

2 - Her boyfriend gets shot and stabbed repeatedly soon after.

3 - Cashier at Video World gets shot by the thugs

4 - The Robot Ninja stabs Revelle

5 - Christopher suffers a head injury when he's shoved to the ground.

6 - Random gang dude gets sliced in the chest

7 - Another loses a hand

8 - Another gets run over by the cops

9 - Yet another is gutshot by the cops.

10 - Gody gouges out Goodknight's eye and adds bullets to injury

11 - Scully gets stabbed in the brains by RN

12 - Gody runs over a cop with her van.

13 - A cop shoots the shit out of Gody

14 - Leonard kills himself once his mission is complete

Best Corpse: Very tempted to say Leonard since he’s a dead man walking for half the movie, but I’ll go with Goodknight, because that gun in the eye bit is pretty gruesome.

Blood Type - A: Some top notch stuff here. Lots of blood, and some fantastic make up. Yeah, the face masks getting stuff jammed into the eyes look a bit dodgy with modern tech, but they still look good. And everything with Leonard’s wounds is uncomfortable.

Drink Up! Every time Leonard pops some pills.

Movie Review: Like I said earlier, I quite liked this. It sells itself as a superhero movie, but then it pulls that rug out from under you, BUT then it turns right back into a superhero movie! A great double swerve. And yes, there’s questionable stuff, but it IS still very grounded with just how well a regular guy would do trying to fight crime in a suit of armour. When I watched it for the first time, and that ending hits you like a ton of bricks. It does the most it can without a lot, and it works. I wish some of the cameos were a bit less, they don’t add much to the plot, and just feel like bringing your friends in because you can. And that’s fine! But it takes a bit away from the movie. Still, I give this a very high four out of five eye stabs.

Entertainment Value: It’s very good, but also quite camp, in the best way possible. Leonard’s acting is solid, Goodknight is wonderfully silly and serious at the same time, and the villains are delightfully over the top. The gore is fun, and it’s just a very solid movie. Four out of five caffeine pills.