Grizzly II: Revenge (2020) — Triskaidekafiles

GRIZZLY II: REVENGE

WRITERS: Joan McCall and David Sheldon

DIRECTOR: Andre Szots

STARRING: George Clooney as Ron

Laura Dern as Tina

Charlie Sheen as Lance

Louise Fletcher as Eileene Draygon

John Rhys Davies as Bouchard

Deborah Raffin as Samantha Owens

Steve Inwood as Nick Hollister

Deborah Foreman as Chrissy

Dick Anthony Williams as Charlie Hill

Nigel Dolman as Barry

QUICK CUT: Today’s the day the teddy bears have their concert.

THE MORGUE

Nick - A father and head park ranger, who just wants to make sure everyone is safe.

Sam - The scientist in charge of bear management, who just wants to make sure the animals aren’t harmed.

Bouchard - A hunter with a an almost mythical history of taking down grizzlies. Like devil!

Draygon - A local politician who is in charge of the parks. A superintendent, if I remembr correctly. She’s our local mayor archetype who wants things to go on no matter how dangerous they get. We’ve all seen Jaws.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! I know this has long been our traditional time of the year to look at an anthology movie, but I decided to mix things up this year, when I finally got my hands on Grizzly II: Revenge! This is a movie nearly 40 years in the making. It started filming shortly after the original Grizzly, and due to circumstances, the movie was unfinished and the footage remained in the vault.

Recently, the footage was unearthed, some stock footage was added to it to flesh out the story, and it was finally released last year. Which technically means it beats out Psycho Ape!’s short lived record of being the most recent movie we’ve reviewed, but I am gonna asterisk that since this really is a 1980s movie that sat on the shelf unfinished for 30 years. So. just how unfinished is this movie? Let's find out!

The movie opens up on some stock footage of bears, obvs, as a hunter comes closer, and after some hilarious CGI bullets, and blood splatters, we see a momma bear watch her baby die, and then get injured with another shot.

This movie is gonna dare to ask the question, can you make an entire movie out of stock footage, isn't it?

We then watch as George Clooney, Laura Dern, and Charlie Sheen, whose names I won't even bother to remember, because these top billed stars are in the movie for all of five seconds. They hike into the woods, ignore bear signs, they build a fire, and that's when Grizzly II shows up and finds them in her forest, slaughtering George and Laura.

Charlie calls upon his power of tiger blood, makes a run for it, but he doesn't make it very far before the bear not anywhere near him kills him.

We then cut suddenly to a bunch of park rangers plotting to keep an eye on the forest for an upcoming concert, and will be functioning as an adjunct to security.

As our lead dude Nick heads off to consult the stage manager about security, we then cut to a politician who is in charge and behind this event, and then we cut to a scientist who studies the local grizzlies, being interviewed by a reporter.

Yeah, if you notice the amount of scenes we're piling on here, this already feels VERY disjointed, and it is clear they dumped in all the footage they had, put it in order, and with zero concern for transitions, since most stuff like that hasn't been filmed.

There's then another sudden bear attack as she swats another hunter out of the way in her injured pain and grief.

And then it's over to the concert they've been talking about, where Nick's daughter Chrissy stumbles her way into a job as a gopher. Her dad finds out, and when talking to the stage manager, gives a warning to protect his girl.

Draygon shows up to meet with the stage manager, and we learn this event is very important, it will boost tourism, we've all seen Jaws.

Another poacher wanders into the plot, and he finds the other one who got swatted away, and then he drives off to find the rest of their merry band of poachers.

There's a lot of weird editing here, as none of these people feel in the same location, there's dialogue off camera, and they also keep talking about just how big the bear is. It is VERY difficult to really conceptualise how tall the bear is, when it's all stock footage edited in, or on black backgrounds, and out of context with anything, so you never really feel he's in scale with anyone. This is the biggest problem of the movie. I could forgive a lot else if the bear was believable.

Nick soon finds the hunter as well, and the dead baby bear, and he starts to plan to hunt down Grizzly II before she kills again.

We're suddenly back at the concert with Nick trying to warn Draygon, but she can't talk about it now, there's a concert to put on, and we've all seen Jaws.

Meanwhile, the poachers are making plans to trap Grizzly II because big bear, lots of money.

Nick introduces the bear scientist to his rangers as they plot to hunt Grizzly II themselves, with tranquilizers, since she's so huge normal bullets won't do much good. And then Nick meets Bear Doctor Sam again to be yelled at about wanting to bring the bear in alive. Just one of many instances where things would work better with some intervening scenes.

And we try and shoe in the environmental message of trying to save nature, but not wanting anyone else to be killed, and as a parent, Nick should see it from the bear's perspective. It's very much trying to give us a cycle of violence message too.

We have to protect the happy little trees.

Draygon is doing some photo ops for the press, and Nick shows up to once again try and convince her, but we've all seen Jaws.

After a brief scene with the poachers making fun of Nick, another ranger comes across them, and meets a bad end thanks to them knocking him out, and Grizzly II finding him once they've run away.

Nick and Sam instantly find him, because this movie has no transitions, but then it packs in two straight minutes of stock footage to pad things out.

But finally, we meet Bouchard, a mighty hunter we've heard rumours of all movie, and he's finally being brought on to take down Grizzly II.

Bouchard is French! He speeka likea deese! Do *I* speeka likea deese??

At first, he doesn't believe them, just foolish city folk over reacting, they don't know what a REAL Grizzly is like, but once they tell him the evidence and he gets a picture of how truly huge it is, Bouchard looks very word, and declares that they have...the Devilbear. Which sounds like a much better movie.

Oh and since there's actually supposed to be a concert, we cut over to some of the acts rehearsing, and more construction of the stage, to pad things out in between bear attacks.

Meanwhile, Bouchard is setting traps, which at best would capture Grizzly II's big toe, and shares a saying that when a needle falls, the eagle sees it, the deer hears it, and the bear smells it. And if bear smelt it, the bear dealt it!! Like devil!!

Oh yeah, remember Nick’s daughter Chrissy? Turns out she’s dating one of the headline acts at the concert, a singer named Barry, but he’s just in in for fun. And we cut back to her briefly to remind us she’s in this movie, so we can see them break up, and then they are never seen again, save for being on stage. One of many many half formed plotlines.

Draygon brings some VIPs by to show off the concert and implies the ending of the show will be impressive, and she might not be wrong!

We then cut back to Nick, Sam, and Bouchard, who have been sitting and waiting for hours, and Bouchard shares some Native lore on grizzlies being created by the great manitou, a great devil of a beast.

And you will know when it is caught because it cry...like devil!

We then cut back to the concert, and one of the bands is singing that you gotta take the milk from the coconut, and yeah! You need to make room to put the lime in, and drink them both up.

Meanwhile, a bear shows up and chases Sam, and eventually is shot by Bouchard, because like devil!! But it's the wrong bear, and not Grizzly II. So, more like, like lesser demon!

After being yelled at by Sam, Bouchard sends them on their way, and he will deal with this alone, and his way.

It is almost laughable with just how LITTLE footage there is of the concert up close. There ARE exceptions, but some of the acts we really only see from a distance. The added frustration of just HOW MUCH there is in this already criminally short movie.

I really really do not need to see this much footage of a crowd cheering. Seriously.

Then we're back to the poachers so Grizzly II can show up and take care of them and wrap up their plotline, because this is rapidly winding down.

Remember, always hang your food in the trees out of reach of bears.

Bouchard comes across the carnage after the fact, because with no footage of the bear interacting, and unfinished movie, that's just how we're gonna roll. To be fair, it does work here, to have the bear show up, cut away, and see the aftermath.

However, we then end up back at the concert for more cheering and shots of the stage, to keep padding this out.

All the noise and lights and fresh meat draw the bear, at least I guess that's their implication, but I'm not sure if actual bears work that way. Regardless of if they're injured and angry and seeking revenge.

Oh, and remember that big fireworks display they teased earlier? Something goes wrong, which may or not be Grizzly II related, since it's hard to tell with the editing, but fireworks shoot everywhere, one guy learns why you strike match and get away, and and oh so much fire.

I SAID, only YOU can prevent forest fires!!

The stage manager comes at all the commotion, and tries to shine some lights on the problem, impressed and terrified with the size of the bear. Which would be worth a damn if they *showed us*. This is right up there with Carl Sukenick telling us the aliens are attaking the mail trucks somewhere over there. At least here there's an excuse.

Bouchard shows up and confronts the bear, I guess. He shoots at it, he stands there menacingly, and if they could have completed the movie, I'm sure this would have played better, but here we are.

Nick shows up and runs through all the fire, dodging fireworks, and jumps into a forklift to try and ram Grizzly II with it.

He tried to kill bear with his forklift!

I genuinely have zero idea what he thought this would accomplish. I know they haven't really sold me on the bear size with their limitations, but knowing what they're going for, this would be little more than a nuisance.

Bouchard runs back in to HILARIOUSLY try and lasso a bit of carpeting, and it's a rare moment where they DO sell the size of the creature with interaction, even if it is a pretty cheap effect. Unfortunately, that just makes Bouchard's attempts all the more ludicrous looking.

I mean, props to John Rhys Davis who gives it his all to sell it, and his performance absolutely works, but still. He's stabbing a piece of carpet.

He gets hurled aside and impaled on a pipe, and thus ends the hunting days of Bouchard.

Oh no, now he'll be replaced by a young hot Kari Wurher.

Oh, and while all this fighting, and fire, and explosions is going on? THE CONCERT CONTINUES! Talk about the show must go on.

Nick has an idea though, does his best to get Grizzly II's attention, and leads her towards the stage.

He dives under the lighting display as the bear pursues him, walking right into the girders and lights and wiring, electrocuting the ever loving shit out of her.

Which I am sure all that burning hair must smell LOVELY.

One of Draygon's VIPs asks if the bear catching fire and dying is part of the show and uh, yep! Sure! It totally is, just as planned!

AND THEN THE MOVIE HAS A HARD CUT TO CREDITS.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: It looks pretty good, about what you’d expect from an early 80s film

Audio: Sound feels lacking, but no major complaints. It feels like it could just be more, especially with a concert going on, and they keep using the same stock bear growl.

Body Count - It may be unfinished, but they packed in a not insubstantial amount of death.

1 - Baby bear blasted

2 - Batman gets bearsmacked

3 - And Laura Dern too

4 - And then Charlie Sheen

5 - Hunter gets swatted aside

6 - Ranger runs straight into the bear

7 - One of the poachers shoots another accidentally and he lands on their spikes

8 - Bouchard finds another dead at the hands of Grizzly 2

9 - And another

10 - And the last up in the tree

11 - Man accidentally goes up in flames from fireworks

12 - We get a shish ka Bouchard

13 - Bear gets electrocuted

Best Corpse: Best death this time goes to Bouchard. We know him, he’s likable enough, and stabbing him through is well done. Bonus points for having the body still there later as someone runs by.

Blood Type - C: There’s an okay amount of blood in this, but a lot of it does get hidden and we only see body bags.

Sex Appeal: They tease a stripping Laura Dern, but that’s as far as it goes.

Drink Up! Every time you see stock footage

Movie Review: Much like Hellworld, this is a really tough one to truly judge. I will say this right off, I DO like what they’re going for here. The story we kinda see is a decent enough one. But this is a VERY unfinished movie. It’s very padded, it’s missing all the connective tissue between scenes to really make a story flow. The movie that dares to ask, can you tell a story with zero scene transitions. As a movie, as presented, it’s a disaster. If it was properly finished, or just flat out remade from the script today, I think I can see a decent enough, entertaining enough movie. But what I can see could be, does not change what it is; a loose collection of scenes held together with duct tape. Two out of five spike pits

Entertainment Value: There is a lot to be entertained by here. The main actors are decent to good. Rhys Davis gives a better performance than this movie deserves, and is worth the price of admission. Our three ridiculously big names that are in it for five minutes, even in such small roles, so early in their careers, you can see the level of acting already at work. It is a blast watching how they try and stick scenes with the bear in the movie. The disjointed nature of the movie harms its quality, but is also VERY fascinating to see. I genuinely recommend seeing this movie, to see just HOW important storytelling, structure, and scene transitions can be to a story. And like I said, this might not be a good movie, but there is stuff I like here, and I had a good time. Four out of five bears…like devil!!