The Dark Power (1985) — Triskaidekafiles

THE DARK POWER

WRITER: Phil Smoot

DIRECTOR: Phil Smoot

STARRING: Lash LaRue as Girard

Anna Lane Tatum as Beth

Cynthia Bailey as Tammie

Mary Dalton as Mary Dalton

Paul Holman as Uncle Earl Coleman

Cynthia Farbman as Lynn Evans

Marc Matney as Craig Evans

Tony Shaw as David Cody

QUICK CUT: A group of college kids move into a new home to share costs, and get to meet the local native tribe that lives next door.

THE MORGUE

Girard - A local park ranger who is a charming and affable fellow, and has a reputation around town as never using a gun, and instead armed with his whip, he uses non violent means to round up wayward animals.

Mary Dalton - A reporter doing a piece on living wills, who ends up covering the death of a native man who is a bit of a joke around town. She’s determined to get to the truth, and also may have a thing for older men.

Beth, Lynn, Tammie, Susan - A group of college students who has taken up residence on Toltec land. They’re mostly your typical college kids. Oh, and Lynn is a bit racist.

Craig - Lynn’s brother whom she ropes into staying in the house to piss off the other girls.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Happy April Fool's Day, Triskelions! This year, I am taking a look at, fortunately nothing as bad as some other movies we've watched, but also not terribly *good* either. But it is odd, it's weird, and it's just that right amount of ‘...what?’ we love here. And it's called the Dark Power. This movie was brought to my attention from the fine folks at Short Bus Cinema, who share a similar ethos to us here at Trisk, and this one seemed right up my alley.

Before we get to the movie proper, we get some text about how before the white man, there were the Toltecs, and how many were sorcerers, who buried themselves - ALIVE! And they fed on the living "to sustain their evil!!!!" Geeze, slow down with the exclamation points, this isn't the Silver Age.

And I gotta say, starting the movie off setting up some native American tribe shamans as savage beasts who believe in backwards ways and eat living flesh? Not a great look.

But after that, we get to the 'modern' day (You know what I mean), as Native American John Cody is on his death bed, being filmed (Oh that's classy) and his final words are...Rose...bud! er, no wait, Tol...tec!

Meanwhile, young Cletus is whining about when his uncle will let him drive the truck, but he's too busy cleaning out that dead Indian's house!! So instead, the slack jawed youngin' goes off to play in the woods.

And oh no! Something is stalking the kid through the forest! Why! Why why WHY are we spending so much time Raimi-ing through the forest after this kid??

We eventually learn that, gasp! It's four dogs, that give more chase!

Eventually the kid enters a clearing, after nearly four minutes of wandering, and there is much whipping. So much whipping, as famed whipmaster Lash LaRue enters the movie, as Ranger Girard. This role was apparently written for Lash, to bring his whipping antics into the modern era for a new audience. I think they try too hard to sell it.

Meanwhile, at Cody's home, Uncle Earl is trying to clean up, and John's lawyer is waiting for David Cody, the man's grandson, so they can take care of business.

David is a more modern man, not really caring about the old ways, especially since his father isn't related to the Toltecs in any way, shape or form. He also travels everywhere on a boat! Because he's quirky! This has no relevance to the plot, save for giving some kids a chance to try and escape on it later.

After Earl is done complaining to Lash, he hands over a totem of an eagle on a skull, and we get some ridiculously clunky exposition about it.

Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

Oh, there's also three eagle-headed daggers hanging on the wall, and a fourth outside that David removes and tosses aside. I hope that doesn't come back to bite us later! (Before any pedants come along, it is found once more in the ground later by Earl’s brother, once again plucks it out of it’s mound, but since neither of this goes anywhere, I was trying to keep things short and concise, but here we are!)

Also, we get our first tastes of overt racism in this movie with the way Earl's brother treats Cody, with typical "red man" type slurs. It gets worse, folks.

We next get a scene doing more hyping of Lash's whipping skills as the news reporter from earlier talks about how gosh dang awesome he is for being a ranger who corrals wild animals with only a whip, and no guns. We get it, he's great, and she's fascinated by his whip...oh ew, she's flirting with him!

And then we jump to another scene of her formally interviewing Lash, with even more clunky exposition. At least this is through an interview, and almost bearable that way, if you must do it. We learn more about the daggers, the powers, and using them to hold down the dark powers in the Earth.

When the interview winds down, Lash speaks about his whip, and how his is special, a gift from Cody, and the ends are plaited with elements from the four corners of the world. Like I said, REALLY clunky exposition, setting this up for later.

The plot trundles along, and we meet some WHOLE NEW CHARACTERS as what is ostensibly act two begins; a bunch of college students having trouble finding housing, so we jump through a whole bunch of hoops for them to become tenants at Cody's old house. David is down with it, since he can make money from it.

Beth and Lynn settle in, and Tammie arrives to see if she wants to be their newest tenant. She's hesitant to just jump right in, but Beth talks her into it. And that's when Tammie meets Lynn, and we learn that Lynn is a horrible racist. Yeah, like I said, it gets worse.

It’s not truly an 80s movie until there’s a workout scene.

Oh and we also see that all of Cody's junk is STILL in the closet. Nice to see Sam and Earl have done a shit job of cleaning the place out. They state that Cody died a month ago!

Meanwhile, Mary meets back up with Lash, and they hit the library, because holy shit this movie somehow has even MORE lore to it. With all the deep, odd lore, native artifacts summoning monsters to kill people until their time comes, this would go very well right next to Winterbeast. Except this is better made.

We meet another new tenant, Lynn's equally racist, and sexist, brother Craig, and this movie is taking it's sweet time introducing character after character instead of going anywhere, so I'm gonna slam the proverbial fast forward button to get things rolling.

Any moment now, this movie will decide to actually DO SOMETHING.

These books are ALL about the lore of the Cody place, I am sure of it.

"I went to the library, but I lost my notebook, and I don't know how I lost my notebook in the library, so I went to the book store to buy a new notebook..." If someone doesn't start killing people in this movie soon, I AM HAPPY TO OBLIGE.

There is another brief scene of Mary and the kid from the library talking about hooking him up with one of the girls...and then she just *completely* falls out of the movie. Seriously, after a call to Lash to let him know the Dark Powers are rising tonight, she disappears completely.

Uncle Earl shows up with Cletus to fix the toilet after Susan shove Craig's head down it for being an ass. And poor Cletus, just wants to drive that truck!! Will this plot thread ever come to a climax??

THRILLING TOILET REPAIR ACTION!

Cletus is just as bored as I am though, steals Earl's keys, and does what he's been set up to do and steals the truck!

Screw you, old man! I found my ticket outta this movie, and I am gonna take it!

Earl rushes out to stop the kid, misses his chance, and instead gets grabbed by a hand shooting out of the ground. FINALLY. 30 minutes left and something is happening. Yes, more than half the movie is over and done with before the monsters even arrive.

Meanwhile, Lash finally checks his answering machine, and after she does a bunch of rambling, Mary tacks on as almost an afterthought, "Oh, and today's the start of the Evil Days! :D" ...At Mennards!

So the Toltec warrior shows up at the front door like he's Avon calling, grabs one of Craig's friends, and finally things get going.

The Toltecs surround the house, invading in various ways, and chase the kids all over the place for a bit.

All of which is seriously undercut by the goofy xylophone music they keep playing. Sigh.

Lynn and Alan try to escape with Craig's car, but of course it won't start. Surprisingly, because a Toltec stole a piece of it.

After getting hit with a few arrows, Lynn and Alan make their way to David's boat, and before it can get too far, one of the Toltecs grab the rope and pull it back to shore. This is the only reason there is a boat in the script.

Dim, as this Toltec is named, grabs Alan, TEARS HIS FACE OFF, and crushes his nose. Okay, that was unexpected. Can we have more of THAT please??

Lynn is taken care of in short order, after at least stabbing one with the arrow she took to the arm, and meanwhile everyone in the house is COMPLETELY CLUELESS.

Next on Toltec Chef, we’ll show you the proper way to peel garlic.

Susan finally runs into one though, gets chased outside and grabbed by Dim, and the one chasing her flings a hatchet...which lands in HIS belly, missing Susan completely, on top of the arrow to the face. Just another case of the Mondays, amirite??

Tammie and Beth remain remarkably unawares inside, thinking everyone is just being rowdy, and they stay hidden in one of the bedrooms.

Until Beth remembers her silverware, worried those rowdy boys might try and steal it, and Tammie ducks out to save it from them,.

What she finds is a wrecked kitchen, with stuff knocked over, food everywhere, cartons drank...this Toltec is like a native trash panda, just rummaging through everything.

She gets spooked by one of the Toltecs, and she just threatens it with a knife, having zero time for this bullshit. And I respect that.

Tammie looks for Susan, thinking she'll be safer with everyone together, and finds her...dead body being carried in by another Toltec. Finally, everyone is in on the plot, with ten minutes and change to go.

And Final Girl protections kick in with this pair, because the Toltecs repeatedly get ahold of them, and literally just...hold them. They've been pretty murdery up 'til now, and they just hesitate with these two? It gets especially egregious when one has Tammie sidelined elsewhere, and we just hear Beth screaming for five minutes straight, but nothing actually being done to her.

But yeah, there is a LOT of screaming as they just kinda lean over the girls, and all seems lost...until a whip cracks through the air! With epic music! Yay, the whole reason Lash is in this movie has occurred!

One of the Toltecs bails out a window rather than deal with Lash, and he and the girls run out of the room, trying to find safety.

We're not done yet though, as there are enough targets that Lash can get easily distracted by one, and another knocks him out. Convenient way to drag this out for a bit longer.

Tammie ends up in the junk closet, grabs one of the mystical daggers, and buries it in the Toltec's head.

So they act like this is a permanent second death for these creatures. So how come Cody didn't do this twenty years ago? Huh, huh, why mommy, why??

It sure is a good thing Early was too lazy to clean this stuff out.

Tammie takes out another one, and the third that was holding down Beth doing absolutely nothing for five minutes.

So the Toltecs that got daggered stagger out into the fields and melt in some pretty cool sequences, at least. Definitely no Original Vampires here.

The fourth Toltec corners Tammie still in the closet and just...knocks the last dagger to the floor. That's it. "Nothing can stop him now!" ...What?? Reach behind the junk and grab it?? It’s right there! It’s not like it’s on the moon or something!

But that's when Lash wakes back up, Dim grabs another whip, and we have a kinda lame attempt at a whip fight, because you gotta do that with Lash LaRue in your movie.

Throw me the idol, I’ll throw you the whip!

It really amounts to Lash just swirling a whip around his head for a few minutes, and the Toltec having no idea how to use his.

One thing I have now learned; Whip fights are...terribly uninteresting, at least as presented here.

The Toltec runs up some stairs, there's more whipping, and he flings the trash cans down at Lash, because that's more effective than anything he's doing with the whip.

This really is nothing more than a house in the suburbs being invaded by a quartet of giant trash pandas.

Oh, and the whip, because it's special, because of course it is, actually slices the Toltec apart, otherwise there'd be no hope, because no one can *squawking grab the other dagger*. But fine.

Eventually, he ropes the Toltec around the neck, and rips its head off, as one does to end all immortal ancient evils.

And that pretty much wraps things up, with Mary and David having disappeared from the movie entirely, plots dropped left and right. His boat appeared more in the movie.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: It’s weirdly not bad, I didn’t have to do much to the images this time, but it still feels very soft to me.

Audio: About average for this sort of movie.

Sound Bite: "Feel my whip, you son of a bitch!!"

Body Count: Honestly, not too bad, even if you don’t count the four undead Toltecs

1 - John Cody dies in his death bed pretty quickly, from natural causes.

2 - Earl gets grabbed and killed off camera

3 - One of the punks gets arrowed to the house.

4 - Craig takes an arrow to the back of the head.

5 - Allan gets disarmed, and then his face ripped off.

6 - Lynn gets an arrow to the back.

7 - Workout girl gets her throat slit.

8 - Tammy daggers one of the toltecs in the head

9 - And then another

10 - And a third in the back.

11 - The fourth Toltec gets whipped to death.

Best Corpse: Oh, there is no topping peeling off Alan’s faaaace.

Blood Type - C+: There’s not a whole lot of blood and gore, but then there’s those FEW SCENES like the face, and melting Toltecs, that bring it up.

Sex Appeal: Some of the girls are in various states of nudity for baths and showers.

Drink Up! Every time there is racism.

Movie Review: It is very mid 80s. It’s also very…I wanna say mid to late 70s, with the almost ridiculously slow burn drawn out pacing. 50 minutes before your monsters show up is borderline unforgivable. That last 30 minutes is a fun ride, but is it worth it? Just barely, for me. If it had been a bit sooner, maybe a 50/50 split, and with less racism, it would be a better balance. The acting isn’t bad, the whipping feels tacked on and drawn out for whipping’s sake. Overall the film isn’t poorly made though, and there’s some good chuckles, and Earl is easily a highlight with some great lines, to keep you entertained at least. Oh, and too many characters with arcs that just kinda…disappear, are frustrating. Three eagle headed daggers out of five, smack dab in the middle. It’s not so bad as to be below average, but it doesn’t quite get to the point quick enough. And yes, I am being generous because aside from the lost characters, it doesn’t do anything TOO terribly wrong.

Entertainment Value: I may be of an older generation, but I have zero nostalgia for Lash LaRue. So seeing him spin a whip over his head and snap it about 30 times for five minutes just bores me to tears. Still, he DOES have screen presence, and having him deliver a lot of the exposition actually works for his character and the actor doing it. Honestly, if he had just been a character without the quirky gimmick, it might have been better. The Toltecs are the other stars though, after Lash, each with personality, and a bit silly, and are definitely entertaining in their own right. If they had only been in more of the movie. Two out of five arrows.