Triskaidekafiles

Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

Killjoy 3 (2010)

KILLJOY 3

WRITER: John Lechago

DIRECTOR: John Lechago

STARRING: Trent Haaga as Killjoy
    Victoria de Mare as Batty Boop
    Jessica Whitaker as Sandie
    Michael Rupnow as Rojer
    Spiral Jackson as Zilla
    Olivia Dawn York as Erica
    Al Burke as Punchy the Hobo Clown
    Tai Chan Ngo as Freakshow the Mime
    Darrow Igus as The Professor (And Mary Anne!)

QUICK CUT: A new group of people meet the merry trickster clown and he has silly friends all his own this time out!  Let's all go to the circus!

THE MORGUE

The Professor - A man seeking to summon Killjoy for his own purposes...and then promptly disappears from the plot.  When he's around, you can tell he is a driven man, determined to achieve his goals, whatever they may be.

Sandie - One of the Professor's students, and charged with taking care of his house over school break.  She's a fun loving sort, throws parties when she probably shouldn't be, but will do anything for her friends.

Rojer - Sandie's boyfriend, the captain of the school football team, and always looking out for others.  He's very much not your typical joke, and always helpful, even though he might occasionally run head first into danger.

Zilla - Rojer's best friend, and also on the football team.  He's a big guy, and used to be a big nerd, but he keeps that side hidden from view, especially since he got big and joined the team, and got respect for being into sports.  But he continues to be socially awkward.

Erica - A friend of Sandie's, and a girl that Zilla has a total crush on, and she may be flirting back, but both of them seem pretty clueless.  Erica's a bit more of a party girl, a bit more flighty, but definitely a good sort.

Killjoy - The demon clown himself, back again for more.

THE GUTS:

Welcome back, Triskelions!  We are back from Korea, and my visit to the creature feature aisle.  Summer is upon us, and you know what that means!  Um...no?  Well, neither do I, and since you don't, I'm a bit lost.  Oh well, maybe it's time we got back to the Killjoy franchise, with #3.  Yep, let's get back to Full Moon and some clowny shenanigans.  It's been awhile.  Two years since the sequel, and four years since the original.

The movie gets started with a guy visiting some John Malkovichian looking dude in the middle of nowhere, to summon our titular clown demon.

 Malkovich??  Malkovich!

Malkovich??  Malkovich!

Fortunately, unlike Killjoy 2, this movie provides you with Killjoy content right out of the gate and he shows up immediately after the summoning.  He doesn't DO anything, but at least he's there.  Also as an aside, I love the Full Moon logo fading into a real moon in the opening scene.

It's also nice to see him in his truer demonic form, with horns and such.  He's honestly scarier this way than when he goes campy clown.  Although I do keep getting distracted by the rubber horns shaking when he moves.  Wobble wobble!

Anyways, Killjoy decides this time out he needs a posse made up of clowns that have a lose grip on sanity and hmm that sounds familiar...  Ahem.  Anyways, he uses the man's blood to create his pals from bits of behemoth, gemini, and a succubus, to create Punchy, Freakshow, and Batty Boop, respectively.

 CAP: COMBINED PIC, A whole jolly club with jolly clown nicknames.

CAP: COMBINED PIC, A whole jolly club with jolly clown nicknames.

Don't any of his street-demons have real grown-up names?  ...Look, I started this franchise making Crow references, I'm gonna keep making them right up until the very end.

While Killjoy is distracted by his Klown Kill Krew, the man takes the book he had, and leaves.  Killjoy realises he has no target, and the foursome get sucked back to Hell.  So, what I'm taking away here is that, in order to defeat Killjoy, all one has to do is...leave?

After the credits we meet our canon fodder for the evening, starting with Sandie, taking care of her professor's home over spring break, where a wild party accidentally broke out.  We come in at the tail end of said party, as the cops are breaking it up, and kicking everyone out, leaving only the four characters we should actually care about.

 Well, that was short!  Oh wait, just the opening credits...

Well, that was short!  Oh wait, just the opening credits...

We spend a good long time getting to know our protagonistic foursome, and it's not tiresome.  The acting is solid enough, the relationships work, and the dialogue is light and funny.  Having John Monkovich drop something off on the front stoop definitely helps keep the plot moving.

And um, I can't be sure, but there's this song playing in the background that I am 95% certain is the song the caged band plays in Blood Dolls?

The morning comes, and Rojer (Oh I am gonna hate typing that over and over) gets the paper and the overnight delivery from Monk Express.

Sandie and Rojer debate what to do with it; should they open it?  It's probably the professor's...but they decide to wait until Zilla and Erica come back that night to open it and see if its for any of them, and move on.  Once that happens, they discover a dusty, creepy old mirror.

 This movie was so much better with Karen Gillan...

This movie was so much better with Karen Gillan...

The movie drags itsle out a bit longer though, as the group sits back to have movie night, and they are watching Puppet Master 3.  Or possibly the Puppet Master clip show, but most likley the good movie.  And this is where I invoke my primary rule, don't show a better movie in your crap movie.

We jump to Killjoy's hellworld lair, where he's frustratingly shouting at a matching mirror because the kids have pretty much ignored it 'til now.  I also appreciate this place being reminiscent of his lair from the first movie.

Punchy finds the operations manual, which Killjoy can't read, and he instead goes the Evil Queen route, "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the baddest mothafuckin' clown of them all?  I'm talkin' about Killjoy!"  Don't mix your references, dude.  That's one half Snow White, one half Shaft.

In the really real world, everyone has gone to bed, but Zilla is still watching movies.  He sees the lights flicker, and is drawn to the Oclownus.  He reaches out to the mirror, and is sucked through it into Killjoy's world.  Now see, this works much better than his TARDIS ice cream truck.

He lands in a boxing ring and exchanges pleasantries with Killjoy, who makes fun of his name.  Dude, you hang out with a green haired chick named Batty Boop.  You have no room to judge.

And Zilla calls him 'homey' at one point, and he corrects him, Not homey, Killjoy.  See, he knows all the clowns!

 I want a good dirty fight!

I want a good dirty fight!

He ends up sending Punchy into the ring to fight Zilla, and eventually we see the beating having effects in the real world, as these things go.  Erica hears the commotion and finds him writhing and bleeding on the floor.  Rojer and Sandie show up, and they try and wake their friend up, and I guess this time around we're goofing on Elm Street instead of The Crow.

Zilla tells the team what happened, and that he saw Killjoy, and everyone is like, Killjoy?  No way!  How...HOW DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THE HELLCLOWN?  Is he THAT widespread of an urban legend?  I suppose it's possible, but somehow the universe doesn't feel like it's quite earned that status with its mythology.

Rojer tries to get the car, but he hits an invisible barrier at the door, keeping them all trapped inside the house.  I just watched a movie that SAID this happened, but they kept *leaving*.  At least this movie got it right...

 I thought Freakshow was the mime?

I thought Freakshow was the mime?

Sandie and Rojer get Zilla upstairs to rest, while Erica cleans up the blood.  But before she can get started, the mirror tugs her closer and straight into the Doomclown's Hellworld.

Rojer heads downstairs and tries all the doors and windows, finding them all locked or impassable.  He does something reasonably clever and tries to tape up notes on the windows asking for help.  Unfortunately, Freakshow is lurking outside to mess them up.

That's when he suddenly realises Erica should be down there and runs upstairs to get everyone else.  Unfortunately, he stumbles into a hellway from Killjoy's world.  He runs around the rubber reality for a bit, before it spits him back out into their trap.

 Eyes in the dark, one mime circles...

Eyes in the dark, one mime circles...

Zilla and Sandie rush downstairs to search for Erica, finding her in the mirror, and they get a bonus message from Killjoy.  The Clown Prince of Cooking has got Erica in a pot, and Punchy is marinading her for a feast later.

Great.  So Clownibal Lecter invites them all down for dinner, whenever they're ready to try and save their friend from being the main course.

In the meantime, the remaining three try to prepare and figure out how to deal with Killjoy.  There's a very strained attempt to say that kids are afraid of clowns, because they do horrible things to each other, and we're supposed to laugh.  Therefore the way to fight Killjoy is to laugh.  There's a few leaps in logic there that I am not comfortable with.

But before they can finish foreshadowing Checkov's laughter, the professor returns home from his vacation and hey!  It's the guy from the start of the movie!  So that's why the mirror came, and Killjoy is seeking vengeance on the guy that left him hanging with the blue balls of revenge.

 CAP: So many professors are just teaching their classes via telepresence these days...

CAP: So many professors are just teaching their classes via telepresence these days...

Anyways, the professor gives us the history o' Killjoy.  In short, he's an ancient demon, that's gone under many names, and Killjoy is only the most recent.  That's all pretty standard stuff, but I like this concept they're building of WE created religion, WE created demons, WE wrote the book, WE gave them life, with our thoughts, and that means we are the ones with the power to stop them, if we only know how.

Since knowing is half the battle, they decide to jump into the mirrorverse, and when the time is right, the Professor will use Killjoy's true name to fight him, in that old classic trope.

They all end up in different places, and with different members of the Insane Clown Posse.  Rojer ends up with Batty Boop trying to seduce him, Zilla ends up back with Punchy, and Sandie finds herself on a set of satan sheets in bed with Killjoy.

 I am both frightened and aroused.

I am both frightened and aroused.

Sandie makes the usual threat of how he better let her and her friends go or...or...!  And finally, Killjoy throws it back in her face, which is something I've always wanted to see.  "People keep saying that, and I want to know, OR WHAT?"

He pushes her, wanting to know if she's going to call him names, or laugh at him, and she refuses, and so he demands that she dance for his amusement.  She refuses, again saying, "Or what?" and he tells her, in no uncertain terms, that he has an answer to that question; she will never see her friends again.

Anyways, Killjoy also has provided his entertainment with a dancing girl harem outfit

 And now I give you the dance of the seven sequels.

And now I give you the dance of the seven sequels.

Meanwhile, Rojer is still pinned under Batty Boop, who tells him that sex is a one time deal with her, because she has teeth everywhere and will gobble up his little Rojer.  He pushes past the terror of that notion, and uses the situation to his advantage, and plays on Batty's jealousy.  He males her suspicious that if she's cheating on Killjoy, he's gonna cheat on her, so she rushes to check things out for herself.

In a similar vein, when we finally catch back up with Zilla and Punchy, he's TALKING to the hobo clown.  They're not having another fist fight, but instead Zilla is trying to teach him about class politics, and that he needs to fight the power.

Which brings us back to Killjoy's bedroom, where he demands that Sandie start dancing, and she knows what else, so reluctantly gives in to buy time.  She sees Batty Boop walk by, and despite not knowing the plan, knows instantly to turn up the charm to maximum flirt, and starts to seemingly get into the clown seduction.

Sandie offers a bargain to Killjoy, which is the weakness of all demons.  And she offers him something he's never had before; consensual sex...from a virgin.  Killjoy can't believe his luck, and accepts...and I love that since he's evil and a demon, he is utterly clueless about how to do it consensually.

And once again, the trio are using their brains, as Sandie homes in on Homey's weakness, and uses it to at least stay alive.  Also, it's a good callback, whether intentional or not, to the first movie when they tried to seduce him to get close and stab him.

The dual plans start to converge as Batty barges in before the sex can begin and confronts her boyfriend.  And the wedge is driven between them, so he makes Batty go boop and explode away.

 Erica, you just got served!

Erica, you just got served!

Finally, the professor decides to stop standing around his house doing nothing, and jumps through the mirror, just in time for the final act.  And for the dinner bell to ring.

Before they can dig in though, Killjoy confronts the professor about cheating him out of vengeance.  It's revealed to the kids that he's the reason Killjoy was summoned this time, and that they're in this mess, all so he could confront and kill the hellclown.

They all want the professor to say Killjoy's name of power, but he just sits there, mute and motionless.  Once Killjoy hears that the professor knows his name, he throws some chaos in the mix, and tells his posse that it's dinner time, so they dig in and chow down.

 Does this taste funny to you?

Does this taste funny to you?

Freakshow flings his Quatto half at Zilla, and before he can reel the big guy in for the kill, the guy throws salt from his pocket onto the umbilical cord that connects the twins.  And since he's never seen again, I...guess that killed him.  Well, at least he didn't do that walking against the wind shit, I hate that.

Rojer goes straight for the hellclown, and their struggle is ever so brief, as Killjoy summons a giant mallet and bashes the boyfriend's head clean off.

Killjoy sees Punchy has pretty much eaten Erica all on his own, and tells his hobo clown to get in the game, and go after Zilla.  The big guy tries to again reach out to the clown, tell him he doesn't need to take this abuse any more, and Killjoy actually helps matters by being a giant jerk.

This actually manages to turn Punchy against him, and the two fight.  Which just ends up being a short fight, because since Killjoy brought him in this world, he can take him out.

 There can be only one!  *sQUEAk*

There can be only one!  *sQUEAk*

After Punchy is taken out, Sandie tries to make a run for the mirror, but Killjoy gets in the way.  And finally the professor stands up and calls him by his name, Furydahn.  He also calls out several other names, including Loki and...no.  Nope, no.  I do not buy this loser hellclown as the basis for the Loki myths.

I made fun of this guy calling himself a trickster in previous movies, since he's barely ever tricked anyone, or had much of a plan, or stretched the truth.  I know Loki, I'm friends with Loki, and you sir, are no Loki.

We also learn that there is more to the professor's plot, and this is all out of revenge for Killjoy taking his son away.  Ever since he's been trying to find a way to kill the clown.

 Books!  The best weapons in the world!

Books!  The best weapons in the world!

Killjoy is actually impressed that someone has gotten this close, so if it's any consolation, you have painted a smile on his face, professor.  But there's a flaw in the professor's plan, that while the demons are all a part of us, that we created them, we're also a part of them, and every one of Killjoy's victims, are a part of him, including the professor's son.

He confronts the man by releasing the spirit of his son, Michael, and...  Wait.  Wait what?  Michael?  I know that name?  Hold on, I need to go back and reread some things...

...Okay, I'm back.  And holy crap, Michael is actually the guy that summoned Killjoy in the very first movie, and got this franchise rolling.  Holy crap, continuity.

Ahem, right, the plot.  Anyways, since everyone who calls Killjoy out of vengeance becomes part of him, and since the Professor's summoning does actually have a target, he's kinda caught in a loop, and his trickery won't work.  Instead, he will become one with Killjoy.  Perhaps the revenge we got was the demons we made along the way.

 I wish Lucas would stop messing about with the original trilogy.

I wish Lucas would stop messing about with the original trilogy.

So, Killjoy kills the Professor, adding him to his collection, leaving only Sandie and Zilla.  Sandie starts to laugh, and before it seems like she's lost her mind, she reminds Zilla about laughter randomly being a weakness of the hellclown, and he joins in.

And surprisingly, it works.  Who knew?  All you had to do was laugh at evil to make it curl up into a ball and sigh.

So he keeps trying to freak them out with tricks, and they just keep laughing, reducing him to nothing more than your average clown.  Well, an average clown that could still stab you, but details, details...

 Sounds of laughter and joy, they burn, they buuuurn!

Sounds of laughter and joy, they burn, they buuuurn!

At least, until the clown pulls his guts out, and Zilla pauses out of surprise and shock.  That brief pause gives Killjoy an opening, and he runs the big guy through.

Despite losing her last living friend, and her face now being splattered in his blood, Sandie keeps laughing.  Because at this point, she probably is cracking up.  She keeps laughing, and uses his true name a few times, so she can get to the mirror and vwoorp her way out of there.

She escapes, but at the cost of her own sanity.  And with almost half a dozen missing people that are presumed dead to explain, she's carted off to a mental institution.  So, she lived, but lost everything, and that is the sort of dark ending I love.

 She seems to be suffering from Full pneuMoonia

She seems to be suffering from Full pneuMoonia

AUTOPSY REPORT

Video: It looks pretty good, and it should since it was made in 2010, and Full Moon can manage to make a DVD in this day and age look decent.

Audio: It sounds decent enough.

Sound Bite: "Power to the puppies!"  You go, Punchy.  Fight the clowntriarchy!
    "You're not so bad..."  "I take offense at that!" Sandie trying to butter up Killjoy

Body Count: Mmm, this is the sort of thing I like to see, even if it's a slow road to get to that first kill.

1 - 57 minutes when Batty goes boom. I suppose.
2 - Definitely 1 hour in when Erica is gobbled up.
3 - Rojer gets his block knocked off.
4 - Freakshow just kinda...falls outta the plot
5 - Punchy dies I guess in a poof of green.
6 - Professor gets malleted
7 - Zilla gets gutted.
8 - Killjoy goes out in a clownsplosion

Best Corpse: I give this award to Rojer, because I am always a sucker for a decapitation.

Blood Type - B: There's some good blood splatters here and there.

Sex Appeal: Batty Boop wanders around technically naked for the whole thing, but covered in body paint, I think.

Drink Up! Every time Batty says something in a horrible accent.

Video Nasties: I absolutely love Killjoy's "or WHAT?" scene I had to share it, because it's such a great moment I've wanted to see forever.

Movie Review: The plot is simple, sure.  But it's actually well executed.  The production values are on the low side, as it's basically a set for the house, and a warehouse covered in drapes for Killjoy's lair.  It's simple, but effective, and they make solid enough use of what they have.  It's low budget, but they stretch their dollars effectively.  The acting is actually pretty good for my usual sort of movie.  Trent Haaga is MUUUCH better this time out, and he rides a great line between horror and jokes.  I'd almost say better than some of Freddy's outings.  He feels threatening, while also being, well, a clown.  This is a solid enough movie, four out of five clown mallets.

Entertainment Value: I am gonna regret typing this, but this is my favourite Killjoy movie in the series so far.  The first was okay silly fun, that broke some tropes, but then wallowed in them in the end.  The second one was half a movie of kids wandering in the woods, before anything happened, and then it was done.  This one is actually well paced, with a lot of fun, very likable characters, and a fully formed Killjoy character.  The plot logic may be a bit questionable and ill defined with the whole laughter thing, but this is not a movie for strict adherence to rules.  I really liked the continuity nods to the original, and just had a lot of fun with this one.  Four out of five dancing Sandies.