Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

What I'm Watching: Human Centipede 2

Ahhh, look at that, another post.

Oh god, another Human Centipede movie.

I'll admit, I...kinda like the original?  It's depraved, it's gross, but it's actually well made, there's a perverse sense of fun to it, and Doctor Heiter is still kinda awesomely evil.

So, what do I think of this second outing of depravity?'s about what you'd expect.

In fact, this is the movie I think everyone envisioned the original to be.  The original is Eww but not THAT bad, and it DOES have a story.  This one is everything everyone feared that first one would be, to some degree.

But ignoring the gore and violence and ick, how is it?  Well, the story is way more straightforward.  The villain this time out is not charismatic or anything like Heiter at all, by design.  He's silent, he's fat, he's creepy looking in the bad way, and just all together deplorable.  It's tough to really get behind him, but I like Martin in different ways than Heiter.  They're both foul characters, but fun to watch in their own ways.  Martin is a distant second though.

This film is loaded with black humour.  It takes the piss of the entire Human Centipede concept, and the criticism, and plays with them, and there's something there I like.  I love black humour, and it is all deliberate here, and SO over the top.  It is a good undercut to the sheer horror of what's on screen.

I like that the movie takes the criticism and fears of the original, the fears of all protective groups that say people will watch something and try to emulate it in the real world, and goes full on with that idea.  I don't think the story *quite* pulled itself together though, and it does get a bit repetitive with 2/3rds of the movie centering around Martin clubbing 12 people over the head with a crowbar to make his collection.  Yet at times, there's such an interesting quality to Martin, it's watchable in SOME entertaining way.  But it does drag a bit.

And that also leads to one of THE most hilarious scenes, that of Martin running around mostly naked save for a lab coat in a wide, overhead shot, hitting each and every one of his subjects with the crowbar as a means of anesthesia.  It is So over the top, and just keeps going for each and every person in one long shot.  I cracked up at the absurdity of the moment.

But all that being said, this IS a disturbing movie.  There are more disturbing movies out there, but this movie doesn't hold much back.  I mean, it's about 12 people being stapled together ass to mouth.  That's not a comfortable place to sit.

I liked this one, but nowhere near as much as the original, but it has its moments.  But much like the original, I can't recommend it, because who the hell would WANT to watch this, besides me?  And the Cinema Snob.

Also of note is one of the actresses returning from the first movie, but playing herself, since this movie takes place in the realish world.  Martin takes his obsession with the first movie to such a degree that he wants to add Ashlynn to the REAL Human Centipede he wants to make, and tricks her agent into thinking he's making a movie and wanting her to audition.  Ashlynn shows up playing the typical spoiled, clueless, stereotype of an actress that is so totally oblivious that she does not notice anything amiss until Martin conks her on the head with his crowbar.  It's a fun scene, and I love that she played that sort of character.  It was a nice bit of humour.

As for the ending...I have no idea what to make of it, but I won't spoil it, since it is something I think each person has to decide for themselves.  I have about three different competing theories I change every hour.

So yeah...if you liked the first, maybe catch this one on rental.  Everyone else with good sense and taste, stay away.  Ew. ;)