Cellar Dweller (1988) — Triskaidekafiles

CELLAR DWELLER

WRITER: Kit DuBois

DIRECTOR: John Carl Buechler

STARRING: Debrah Mullowney as Whitney

Brian Robbins as Philip

Vince Edwards as Meshelski

Cheryl-Ann Wilson as Lisa

Jeffrey Combs as Childress

Pamela Bellwood as Amanda

Yvonne De Carlo as Mrs. Briggs

QUICK CUT: An up and coming artist seeks to hone her craft in solitude, while immersing herself in the surroundings of her idol’s home.

THE MORGUE

Whitney - A young, clever artist, with an eye for detail, and an obsession with old horror comics.

Philip - Another artist that is just there to be a love interest, and draw stuff you might put on your fridge.

Amanda - An old rival of Whitney’s, back to haunt her, and provide some conflict.

Lisa - An offbeat performance artist.

Briggs - The head of the art institute, who has some beef with Whitney, causing more conflict

Of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, 'cellar dweller' is the most beautiful.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! This is another month where I don't really have a story or a long preamble, suffice to say we are kicking back with Cellar Dweller for the sole reason of it being a movie with Jeffrey Combs. So let's just get to it.

The movie kicks things right off, 30 years ago, so...60 years ago from today, yikes, as Jeffrey Combs, playing a famous horror comics artist, working on his latest project.

He's doing some research in the Necronomicon for inspiration, and seriously? Who keeps letting Jeff anywhere near that book? It never ends well!

Anyways, he does some reading, does some art, and suddenly the monster he is doodling is behind him, murdering a woman. As one does.

The sign of a good artist is that their art seems to leap off the page.

The wannabe Liefeld runs off, grabs an axe, and returns to the basement. The monster smacks him around like a toy mouse, Childress he has a plan. The artist scoops up his work, and sets it on fire, making the creature spontaneously combust as well.

Unfortunately, he failed to notice the spilled oil, and what with that, and all the art supplies, the whole place goes up, taking Jeff with it.

Hey, since my main reason for watching this is already dead before the credits, I can go, right? ...No? Okay fine.

We jump ahead to the 'present' day, with Whitney arriving to the Throckmorton Institute for the Arts, where the previous stuff took place. She's there to work on a comic book, but a bit more secretly, to immerse herself in the surroundings of the Cellar Dweller creator's work, and create her own. Those motives become clear rather rapidly, though.

She soon finds the head of the institute, Mrs. Briggs, played by Yvonne DeCarlo, and insert your own Munsters joke here.

We get the usual tour around the place, and Briggs points to the cellar door, and says THAT door is off limits.

Countdown to going through that door in 3…2…

Continuing on, we meet Philip an artist who works in what appears to be crayon, and Lisa, a performance artist.

Phil snarks, "Aren't you a little old for comics?" and before I can roll my eyes, isn't HE a little old to be doodling in crayon??

While showing off his paintings for critique, some guy shows up, grabs Lisa at gunpoint, and demands they turn over the paintings.

This is just another resident artist, a writer, trying to work through his scene with the help of his fellow artists. Whitney shows off her cleverness by noticing the gun isn't loaded, so I guess she was feeling lucky.

After meeting our final artist, a videographer and rival of Whitney's, we have Whitless waking up from a nightmare to some screaming outside, only to find Lisa doing some primal rage therapy on the front lawn.

Finally, Whitney sneaks into the basement, bumps into Philip, and tells him about Childress' activities, and how she doesn't believe he killed the girl and set himself on fire. "They were murdered, it's the only logical explanation!" Yeah, sorry lady, logic left the station way back.

Whitney uses this opportunity to talk her way into moving down into the basement to do her work, and Mrs. Briggs enlists the aid of Amanda to set up cameras to spy on her.

All of which leads to...A MONTAGE! to get the place cleaned up. Fun times.

Oh, and Whitney also found the book, and is using it to inspire her comic, because that worked out SO well last time.

Huh, that would be a great title for something…

The movie does not let up on all this sitting around and drawing excitement, and continues forward with...EPIC FIDDLING OF VIDEO EQUIPMENT!

Amanda zooms in on some art, and videos her hand adding lines to it, adding dialogue claiming that it's video footage of Whitney plagarising the art next to it. Which…even if it was true, isn’t bad? It’s only a crime if she tries to sell it as her own? Artists copy art all the time as reference, or to hone their style.

So, Amanda has a bright and promising future with Project Veritas at least. And Whitney will do well as the next Greg Land.

The monster shows up, based on Whitney's drawings, and murders Amanda. But at least the plot is ticking over finally.

Briggs discovers that Amanda has gone missing, and I guess Monstro cleans up his bloody messes good. At breakfast the next day, Whitney says she will be more than happy to never see Amanda again, and this sends the detective writer off on the hunt.

Meanwhile, we get to see Lisa's performance art and...yeah, it's a doozy. I'm not even gonna try and explain it. Moving on!

Our detective finds Amanda's fake video and assumes it was all done for revenge, but before he can report his findings, Fuzzy Wuzzy shows up to take care of him as well, by beheading him.

...Yes, I opted to not go with the Highlander reference for once.

We wander around a bit, Whitney discovers her stolen artwork, the mystery of disappearing people deepens, and Phil finds some new art pages showing what the creature is up to...which Whitney never drew.

As Lisa goes to take a shower, Whitney quickly puts things together using that big brain of hers, and that the curse in the book must be real, and she's bringing bad things to life. Next up, she'll be heading to Bright Falls to find the poet Thomas Zane and get trapped fighting shad...no wait, that's the plot of Alan Wake.

Meanwhile, the monster kills nekkid Lisa, and I gotta say, I liked it better when it was kinda revenge fueled, or protection. However, it's nice to have a character who are NOT an asshole, and that the monster has no moral imperative, only destruction.

Whitney rushes down to the basement and grabs a lighter, but before she can torch the pages, the creature reaches out and pulls Philip in. Oh, I don't think he's going to meet Holli Wood.

She rushes up to Briggs, who is miraculously not murdered yet, and tries to explain the absolute absurdity going on. It goes well!

At least, right up until the monster rips out of her and chases after Whitney.

Oh, that scarf really brings out his eyes!

More pages are conjured forth, revealing Whitney's fate, but she's too busy living it to really read ahead and get the spoilers.

During her flinging objects at Timber Wolf, she spills some white out on the pages, causing him to disappear. This seems like a much safer option than fire.

After banishing the monster with whiteout, Whitney sits down and decides to write everyone back into reality. Yes, everyone. And the monster chained up in the corner.

However, dabbling in the dark arts, even accidentally, is never so easy to control for your own purposes, and never goes as planned.

Once everyone is back, Whitney burns the pages, but she also burns the pages of everyone else, so all that hard work and art goes up in flames, leaving her alone, and probably about to continue following in her idol Childress' footsteps.

But not for long, before the creature appears to take her out as well, finishing the job and the movie.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: This is a little below average for me. I was having issues grabbing screencaps, and the dark is a bit too dark at times without much definition. It’s okay, but just barely.

Audio: All right, but again, nothing to crow about. It does the trick.

Body Count: Not counting all the undoing, because it is redoing shortly after, not a bad pile of bodies. And percentagewise, it’s a clean sweep.

1- Somewhere in the first five minutes, the Holli Wood wannabe gets killed

2 - Jeff burns up.

3 - Amanda gets eaten by the creature.

4 - The monster beheads the detective

5 - Dancer girl gets eaten next.

6 - Briggs dies when the monster rips out of her?

7 - The creature burns up.

8 - And so does Phillip

9 - And Lisa

10 - And detective

11 - And Amanda

12 - And Briggs

13 - And then the monster slashes Whitney

Best Corpse: You can probably guess my choice, but it’s Mechelski being beheaded, because it’s one of the few effects we get to see.

Blood Type - C+: I give the movie a lot of points, because there’s some decent blood usage. Lots of slathered on severed body parts, a decent decapitation, and the monster is nice and imposing, if not the best thing ever.

Sex Appeal: Lisa gets nekkid.

Drink Up! Whenever you see someone doing art.

Movie Review: You know what? I liked this. It is not a bad movie at all. The story is solid enough, although I don’t think they fully explored the concept. This was a crack in the door they never fully realised. It’s a bit on the slow side, but that’s as much when it was made, as the type of story it’s telling. But the movie is short enough, with some interesting characters that it just about gets by. Nothing really stands out, aside from the creative idea of the plot, which again, is never fully utilised. Bt it’s a nice simple bit of fiction to put on and have some fun with. A charming bit of comfort food that isn’t going to challenge you, three out of five bottles of white out.

Entertainment Value: There’s nothing much here to speak of. Combs is a treat, in an all too small role, the idea is intriguing, but it’s all played fairly straight with nothing overly broad. The most eyebrow raising scene is Lisa’s performance art piece. But it’s a just fine movie, just nothing much here to hang your hat on. Two out of five necronomicomics.