Triskaidekafiles

Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

To Become One (2002)

TO BECOME ONE

WRITER: Neil Johnson

DIRECTOR: Neil Johnson

STARRING: Emma Grasso as Melinda Hayward
Spencer Slasberg as Ralph
David Vallon as Dr. Hatcher
Jay Gallagher as Michael
Col Elliott as Euphrates
Jack Heywood as Father

QUICK CUT: A separated brother and sister are reunited after many years apart.

THE MORGUE

Melinda - A young woman who lost her mother a year ago. She’s into petty crime and watching her friends die around her.

Michael - Melinda’s secret brother, who is a bit stunted from years in an institution.

Dr. Hatcher - The doctor who took Michael in when no one else would have him, a mad genius, with some wild ideas, but it all serves his own ego and ends.

A dream of you and me together.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! This week's movie is called To Become One, and it is a sequel of sorts to a movie I looked at a year ago, Demons in My Head, and like that movie, it also got reedited to make them more of a coherent universe with themselves and later films, under the title Bipolar Apocalypse. And much like the other movie, I would love to get my hands on those edits. As it stands, this isn't really THAT much of a sequel, and I'd be fascinated to see how they were brought closer together. But I’ll get into that a little bit more, later.

A side note, as I was prepping this review, I discovered that Neil had recently uploaded a cleaner, crisper, version of the original cut of the movie, and I decided to use that instead of either of the really bad looking DVDs I have.

We start off with a flashback, so at least this time the use of black and white makes sense, as Melinda's mum is trying to sort things out for her birthday. But her planning is cut short when a man in a gas mask shows up, knocks a glass off the counter like he's their pet cat, then stabs her in the gut, like he's their pet cat.

He removes the mask, and mum recognises him, but we don't get to find out who the killer is just yet.

Are you my mummy?

We cut to a year later, but it feels so much later since Melinda feels so much older. They grow up so fast...

It's Melinda's birthday again, and at least no one has been murdered beforehand this time. Oh wait, her friend ran into Sandman on her way to the party, so at least this was DURING the party, instead

The lights go out, and one of the partygoers goes out to a friend's car to get a flashlight, and she runs into Man Door Hand Hook Car Door who stabs her through the roof.

Australian Shannon Elizabeth

Following a visit to Melinda's father, and the killer offing the sister of the previous victim, Melinda runs into a doomsaying religious nut, and she assumes he's the killer. She tries to hold him there until some cops arrive, but another friend is killed, so it ain't him.

What with Melinda's friends and family dropping like flies, she decides to head off into the woods to lay low until this all blows over.

This movie is just booking through plot, speedrunning a slasher film, and it's setting me up that I don't know where we're gonna go. This alone could've been a movie in itself.

No no no. Sandman doesn’t kill people, that’s his sister death.

While she tries to talk Johnny into coming with them, he wisely wants no part of this...so the killer shows up to take care of him first, before he can escape the movie.

Melinda rushes over, fearing the worst, calling out for Johnny, and now we'll never know who Johnny is, cuz like, he's dead!

Everyone piles into some cars to head up to Melinda's family cabin, because that isn't an obvious place to hide. And you can tell this group of friends is not close at all, and Melinda is probably the only reason they tolerate each other. There's a ton of yelling at each other, especially between Ralph and Spencer, who both clearly have a thing for our lead.

On the way there, they stop so one of them can pee, and they notice a very obvious bomb attached to the back of one of the cars. So it of course explodes and takes out yet another couple of friends.

I don’t think that comes standard on that model car.

I'll give the movie this, it was a pretty impressive boom for a low budget flick like this. We do give points for fire.

This leaves us with just Melinda and the two boys, and both of them think the other is the killer, but oh wait...

Ralph finds Melinda's father's car, they now think it was daddy dearest doing the killings, and that makes sense with what we know, but it can't be because oops HE is dead too!

Joke is on them, it was NONE of these people, as the killer comes up behind them and uh, opens fire with a machine gun.

Hey, that is not standard slasher issue weaponry!

Both of the boys are disposed off pretty quickly, and the gas masked man chases Melinda through the woods for a bit.

She makes it to her father's car, but oops, that's right, the killer has the keys. For a movie that is racing through a slasher movie, it also somehow has long sequences like this of chasing through the woods and such. It is almost remarkably efficient.

They end up at a stream, the mask comes off, and it's...uh...

I have no idea who this is.

He claims to be her brother, Michael, and to avoid beating around the bush, this proves to be true.

We are almost halfway through, and the movie kinda pulls a Psycho here, if not in the sense it switches out lead actresses, but the plot becomes something entirely different. We had been in a slasher movie up to this point, and now it's...something else.

Melinda wakes up strapped to a gurney, next to her brother, and being looked over by Doctor Hatcher, whom you might recognise from Neil's previous movie as their very Doctor Who like character in that one.

Poor man’s Stephen McHattie.

Our heroine isn't exactly pleased with this situation, and that the doctor seems to be on Michael's side, and she ends up getting sedated. And the anesthesiologist takes a hit for himself. Dude, this is not a “one for you, one for me!” sorta situation!

Later, she chats with her brother, not believing that's who he is, but he says she bears the "holy mark" which she has always been told is a scar received from the forceps during her birth. Except we find out it's because they were conjoined twins that were separated.

Hatcher rides that fine line between genuinely wanting to, or thinking he's helping people, with what happens when hubris gets in the way, with a pinch of mad science thrown in. He seems to genuinely care for his patients, but you can also tell he gets off on their adoration, and the cult like atmosphere.

It’s not a proper mad science movie until the glowstick fluid comes out.

Finally we get to his experiments with Melinda and her brother, and he reconnects their inner workings with some external tubes. The cinematography on the scene is all over the place, very energetic, but also makes me want to hurl.

Also they establish that Michael can start to see what she sees, and hear Melinda's thoughts, although they never really do much with it.

Melinda accuses Hatcher of being a monster, and he defends himself for taking in all these people, discarded because of their handicaps, left in institutions, until he came along and uh...put them in his own institution. Arguably a better life, and I can relate, but still.

To Become One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Later, we are treated to a hymnal and group sing along, and Hatcher stands in front of the group soaking it all in. Oh yeah, this is all about helping people, there is zero ego involved.

He then hands out pills and wine like they're communion, and geeze, I know some people call science a religion, but c'mon.

Melinda doesn't want the pills, naturally, so they force her to take it, and fortunately she soon throws it back up. And this stuff here is kinda the strongest link to these original versions of Demons and To Become One; the use of science and religion in conjunction. It's more a thematic link, but again, would love to see the other versions.

I’m peeing for two, now.

So this goes on for awhile, trying to drug Melinda, she spits it out, they recover from the surgery, all while she tries to find a way out. Oh, the blonde's sister isn't dead, and apparently got lobotomized and brought here, for whatever that's worth.

Hatcher discovers one of the pills Melinda just spits out onto the floor, and there was your first mistake, girl. So, he corners them, and chides them, or more accurately, he speaks directly to Michael. They almost go so far as to stop treating Melinda like a person, just a part of her brother, and that would have been an interesting angle to dabble in.

The doctor gives them more pills, with another that will help them sleep before Melinda can barf these up too. They're hurried off to their room, and she manages to grab a scalpel along the way.

Our dynamic duo duck into the bathroom, and you would think they would have put a stop to that, but noooo. Once in there, Melinda cuts their connections, so she can make a run for it.

Is this what it means when someone says they’re getting their tubes tied??

Melinda makes a run for it, and runs right into Ralph, who seemingly tracked her down and is there to help her esc...AH HA HA nope, he's actually been part of this cult the whole time, even though he doesn't feel like he belongs, or how he'd get here, but sure, fine, why question it at this point?

Oh, so if you're wondering why all this is going on, it's because Hatcher was apparently a conjoined twin himself, and his other half is dying. Or something, again, things are unclear. Just one of many interesting ideas that needed to be further developed.

We montage our way through things, as Melinda heals and is drugged some more, and finally the time comes for her final test. She's taken to a cave and SPENCER is still alive too, tied up and ready for her to remove the last ties to her old life.

Poor man’s Russel Tovey.

Unsurprisingly, although they do manage to inject just enough doubt, she cuts down Spencer, and stabs Ralph instead.

Hatcher shows up though to ruin everyone's day, Melinda gets knocked out again, and wakes up once more connected to Michael. But instead of just via tubes and medical equipment, their flesh has been reconnected, truly making them become one again. Kinda.

This is our get along shirt.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: Like I said, this is probably the best looking version I’ve seen of the film. If you wonder how that could be, some scenes are just so dark on the dvds I have. The YouTube version does have a bit of censorship for the platform, but nothing too serious, save for one major shot.

Audio: It sounds fine for a movie of this budget.

Body Count: It wipes out almost its entire cast in the first half, then slows down a tick, and I admire it for that. I do apologise that I didn’t catch everyone’s name.

1 - Just short of three minutes in, Melinda's mom gets sliced and diced
2 - Another girl gets stabbed
3 - Blonde girl gets stabbed next
4 - Her sister is presumably killed off camera
5 - And then the killer takes out Teri
6 - Johnny is the next victim
7 - Girl gets blown up...
8 - And Jamie goes with her.
9 - Melinda's father is found dead
10 - The doctor's twin dies
11 - Melinda stabs Ralph good

Best Corpse: That aforementioned scene that got blurred out, is Melinda’s mom’s corpse sliced in half. It’s good…on the DVDs!

Blood Type - C: There’s not a lot of blood, but the death effects early on are solid enough, and bonus points for slicing mom in half.

Sex Appeal: Nothing to speak of.

Drink Up! Every time Melinda gets knocked out.

Movie Review: This movie, much like Johnson’s previous efforts, has big ideas, and take big swings, and I respect that, but also like Demons, I think the ideas are a little TOO big. With a little more budget, a little more time, these could be fleshed out. It throws a lot of ideas at the wall that they end up not doing much with, or has potential to run with. Some things just kinda happen for shock value, like oh, the girl is alive, so is Ralph, oh Ralph works for the cult! There’s big ideas we just breeze past It takes these big swings, but it could have stood to flesh them out more. The acting is fine, and again, Vallon is the star here, and I am always a sucker for a good mad scientist full of hubris. The movie is rough, could use more focus, or develop its ideas more, but I do like what it’s going for? I respect it having its own voice and doing it’s own thing, if nothing else. Two out of five tubes.

Entertainment Value: I remember seeing the trailer for this and going, Oh that looks like such a movie I need to see, and immediately sought it out. I was surprised at how quickly it speedran a slasher plot, and went in a completely different direction in the latter half. Definite points for surprising me. It had me on the edge of my seat at that point, not knowing where it was going from here. It didn’t quite hit that same high again, but it had my attention. There’s nothing quite so bad it’s entertaining, and it’s all solid enough. BUt it remains an interesting bit of cinema. Three out of five gas masks.