Camp Blood (2000) — Triskaidekafiles

CAMP BLOOD

WRITER: Brad Sykes

DIRECTOR: Brad Sykes

STARRING: Jennifer Ritchkoff as Tricia

Michael Taylor as Steve

Tim Young as Jay

Bethany Zolt as Nicole

Courtney Taylor as Harris

QUICK CUT: A pair of couples go on a camping trip into the woods to try and reconnect while looking for a rare bird.

THE MORGUE

Tricia - A young woman having trouble with her boyfriend, who has concerns about going into the woods where a murder just happened. She gets a bit hysterical over the course of the movie.

Steve - Tricia’s boyfriend, and he just wants to keep the peace and try and work things out.

Jay - A friend, and he is a major jerk. He’s always telling his girlfriend what to do, he’s demanding. He’s always on the phone. He finds fault with everything and will loudly complain about it.

Nicole - Jay’s girlfriend, and she could be reduced to a description of “superficial” but she has a bit more depth than that. But just a little.

Harris - The guide the group employs to lead them through the forest. They’re surprised she’s a woman, but she can kick pretty much all their asses.

Thatcher - An older man who lives near the camp, and warns the group away. He loves playing pranks and hates those townies.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Happy new year, Triskelions! For awhile, I would always look at a certain franchise at the start of the year, about a camp in the woods that had a killer stalking around the camp and making it everyone’s problem. Well, it is time for us to sit back and return to that idea, by watching...Camp Blood 1!

...wait, what? Not Friday the 13th? Oh no.

The movie opens up on a couple wandering the woods, shocker, and as the girl goes on about the local avian wildlife, the boyfriend is...checking out her ass.

What a love day. I’m sure nothing can go wrong!

Vic flirts with her a bit, and they are instantly making out, and distracted from their birdwatching. And if you know your summer camp slashers, you can guess where this is gonna go.

If there's something that sets this movie apart from the Friday the 13th franchise, it's that they take way more time with the sex scenes here.

But things get interrupted by the sound of the bird. Vic decides to show how much he actually cares by going off into the woods to get his girlfriend a picture of the "asparagus whatchamacallit".

Instead, all Vic finds is some guy in a clown mask, and I'm sure he just lost his way and OH GOD he's got a knife!

The birdwatcher finds Vic shortly after, and runs from the inevitable clowning, bleeding all over the opening credits.

We spend the next little bit meeting our canon fodder for the movie, and they're a little better fleshed out than normal, which is a treat.

The group is going camping up at Camp Blackwood, except that's since Tricia just watched the opening of the movie, she knows about the murders that happened there.

Next we see a few hunters wandering the woods who get quickly killed off, just to keep things going before the main event.

Back with Tricia and Steve getting ready for the camping trip, you can tell she's apprehensive, but goes along with it just to be a good friend. Shoulda trusted that intuition.

On the way, the quartet get a bit lost, and see the local harbinger chugging along the side of the road. Jay (not to be confused with Jason) honks the horn to get his attention.

The old man has a heart attack, and passes out right there in a ditch. They stop to check on him, and when Steve kneels down close, the old man jumps up screaming.

Oh, I like this merry prankster harbinger already.

They ask for directions to Camp Blackwood, and Thatcher does his harbinger duty and warns them about the local lore of deaths up in the woods.

But it's not until they're driving off that he says anything about a clown. Only Tricia hears it, and it will be repeatedly questioned if it was really said or not.

Thatcher does give them directions though, so they drive as far as they can before reaching the trails. The group waits a bit for their guide, Harris, but they never show up. The group inevitably heads off into the woods on their own.

Steve and Tricia wander into the woods to check things out ahead, and see a woman wandering through the woods. They're worried it might be the killer Thatcher warned them about, and she very well could be, since she takes care of Steve quite easily.

But no! It's just their guide, showing up 30 minutes late to the movie.

Now that the whole cast is here, we wander even deeper into the woods, and eventually set up camp.

So glad this is on on Blu Ray to see it in it’s full glorious resolution

We spend a lot of time setting up camp, and getting to know the characters in a group setting. And then when they finally light the campfire it is INSTANTLY dark out. Cool trick!

They sit around the campfire and start sharing urban legends, like Blood Mary, man door hand hook car door, and the girl from the Noxema commercials going on a killing spree at a New England college.

And then Harris gets into a story about...the clown. And Camp Blood. After previously denying any knowledge of such topics. Liar, liar, head on fire.

Harris tells the tale of Stanley Cunningham - I see what you did there - coming home one day to find his wife cheating on him. And instead of going to sit and stare out at the ocean like a good cuckold, he instead drags the pair off into the woods to take care of them.

Everyone turns in for the night while Harris watches the fire. And I just wanna say, this is NOT a long movie, at about 75 minutes. We've got less than 30 left, including credits! and the killing has yet to really get started.

But fortunately, the killer hears me, so the next day Tricia wakes up and finds the charred corpse of Harris laying by the fire. She acts as the camp alarm clock with a blood curdling scream.

Someone’s Ghost Rider cosplay encountered some problems.

Nicole goes into a catatonic state staring at the corpse, and everyone else makes the actual smart decision to get out of there, despite no longer having a guide.

As they're walking back, Nicole trips on a plothole and twists her ankle. Everyone does their best to help her walk so they can get back to the car. Well, except Jay, until he’s pretty much press ganged into it. I haven’t gone into Jay’s character much but he is a grade A asshole.

Unfortunately, the clown thinks this is their best time to strike, and jumps out of the forest. Steve gives them a really good punch out of nowhere, and the clown runs off.

However, so does Steve, rather than just letting them be, and continuing to escape.

Then, Tricia runs off after Steve, while Jay and Nicole continue to hobble off in any direction that is "away".

Steve eventually finds his way down to the river, and gets into a knife fight with the clown. And I will give the movie this, having these two people jumping all over the rocks jutting out of the river, and NOT constantly slipping around, while swinging weapons, is actually very impressive for a no budget flick like this.

And while Steve does a pretty good job fighting the clown, it sadly does not end well for him, when the clown buries the knife in the guy's skull.

It’s a good thing I don’t keep any brains in there.

Tricia sees her boyfriend's corpse, and is soon chased by the clown through even more woods. They rehash all the times her sanity was questioned up to this point, for no particular reason.

She eventually runs into Jay and unfortunately only almost stabs him.

Those two end up getting into an argument before continuing their escape, as the clown sneaks up behind them.

Hey, uh...you guys want me to come back once you're done? I mean, I am in a bit of a hurry here, but if you need time...

Killer McClownface scoops up Nicole and carries her off into the woods. Jay takes Steve's knife from Tricia (got that??) and runs after to save his girlfriend. He may be a dick, but at least he’ll fight for his friends.

Instead, he gets freaked out, and when he hears someone coming up behind him, Jay assumes the worst and strikes. And ends up killing Nicole himself.

The clown shows up and quickly sends a distraught Jay off to reunite with Nicole in the afterlife.

Meanwhile, Tricia reaches the car, and Thatcher is there. She is hysterical, and he does his best to calm her down and find out what happened.

Thatcher insists the stories were all made up to scare tourists, but then the clown shows up, and the harbinger tries to knock out the girl, but she escapes before he can ask her what his rag smells like.

Designed and directed by her red right hand.

Clowny and Tricia struggle for a bit, she grabs the knife blade first, slicing her hand good, and eventually runs down the road with the clown chasing her. And Thatcher not far behind in the car.

The fight hilariously culminates when Thatcher accidentally runs over the clown. When he gets out of the car to check on them, Tricia grabs the knife and beats him good.

She then pauses long enough to actually remove the mask from the killer and the big reveal has come!

Actually, that's Harris, if you don't recognise her, and I wouldn't entirely blame you. She wore a bandana through the rest of her appearance, and her face wasn't covered in blood. The movie clarifies this all shortly.

Tricia jumps in the car and drives off, but the clown is in the backseat?? Oh no, we see Tricia is now in a mental institution, so that was just her psychotic break getting it's start.

None of the doctors really believe her, despite her constant explanations. And the movie ends with another vision of the clown coming to give her medicine, like this is Hollow's End or something.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: Oof, this is on the rougher side of things, but at least everything remains clear. It is very early 2000s no budget direct to video.

Audio: Adequate, and better than the video, at least.

Sound Bite: “You just stay here, and in a minute I'll be back with the best fuckin' picture of an asparagus whatchamacallit you've ever seen!"

Body Count: A nice solid amount of deaths here, at the very least.

1 - Vic gets stabbed by the clown about five minutes into the movie.

2 - And his girlfriend is caught in the river and killed as the credits roll.

3 - George gets decapitated

4 - And probably his hunting buddy soon after.

5 and 6 - Flashback to the clown's first two victims

7 - Steve gets a knife to the face

8 - Jay accidentally kills Nicole

9 - Then the Clown twists Jay's head around

10 - Thatcher gets hacked up by Tricia

11 - Harris gets run over a few times.

Best Corpse: Ooh, this is a little tough. I almost want to say the clown, but that’s more because the car hit makes me laugh. The knife to Steve’s face is very well done, though.

Blood Type - B: Not super bloody, but there are a few moments, and it gives you a lot of low budget effects for your money. Nothing super notable, but quantity wins out.

Sex Appeal: No shortage of breasts here.

Drink Up! Every time you hear the asparagus whatchamacallit.

Movie Review: I ended up liking this way more than I thought I would. I came in with zero expectations, and those were exceeded. I had a largely good time here. This doesn't really reinvent the wheel, nor does it really bring anything new or interesting to the table. However, it does the formula well enough, that I can't really complain. It's biggest problem is it came out years after the initial slasher boom, so it has a feeling of...why? And honestly, after the last few months with a bunch of really bleak, soul crushing movies, I needed something good, fast, and dumb. The movie has a nice energy to it though, and at just around 75 minutes, it can afford to slow down in the first half, and not feel like your time is being too wasted. It’s a solid little slasher, if nothing terribly notable. Three out of five clown masks

Entertainment Value: While it’s a very basic, if executed well, slasher, it does at least have some standout moments of entertainment. Thatcher steals the show every time he’s on screen. From his energetic walk, to pranking the kids, to his proclamations of doom, to hootin’ and hollerin’ and dancin’ as those pesky kids drive off. He is a blast. Tricia’s a decent final girl too, and she gives a good scream, which she has to do a lot of in this. The misdirects both to and from Harris are nicely done. If the reveal had landed a little better, it would’ve been really nice. And it’s believable, since they establish from go that she could take down Steve. As you can see from the cover image, I got a whole ass collection of this series, and there’s even more, so this one will keep me busy for a LONG time. Four out of five charred skulls.