Dead & Rotting (2002) — Triskaidekafiles

DEAD & ROTTING
WRITERS: Story by David P. Barton

Written by Douglas Snauffer and David P. Barton

DIRECTOR: David P. Barton

STARRING: Stephen O'Mahoney as Hollis

Tom Hoover as J.B.

Debbie Rochon as Young Abi

Trent Haaga as Eric

Jeff Dylan Graham as Asher

Barbara Katz-Norrod as Abigail

QUICK CUT: Three friends prank the wrong person, and learn a very important lesson.

THE MORGUE

Hollis - The owner of a construction company he runs with his two friends. He loves pranks, and bullying people.

JB and Eric - Hollis’ two friends, who are pretty much on the same page. JB is a bit more jokey, and Eric tends to get spooked easily.

Abi - The local witch who will do anything to protect her solitude and her family.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! Let me tell you a story about Dead & Rotting. Way back in the early 2000s, before I started this site, there was (still is, to be fair) a local hobby shop, that was just kind of a way station for all kinds of stuff. Mostly baseball cards. But they had a few comics, books, and they had a couple tables covered in DVDs. I always browsed the DVDs, and there was one movie they had like...a dozen? Two dozen? copies of. It had a pretty striking cover and a memorable name, and it is indeed this movie. I never picked it up, but decided it was time to correct that and watch this movie which you could say I have waited almost 20 years to see.

Anyways, the movie starts off with a trio of good ol' boys driving off into the backwoods to be assholes to someone different from them. As good ol' boys are wont to do.

Eric, JB, and Hollis roll up to the supposed witch's house to cause trouble, and since Eric is a bit, let us say 'concerned', Hollis makes a bet with him, that if he can enter the house without soiling himself, he'll pay him a dozen bears

Hollis also sells the folklore with tales of the witch having a potion that keeps you alive after you die, but continue to rot, and grow plants out of your head. Because sure, why not?

Also, going back to that image for a second, what even is this? It's not filmed at night. It can't legally be called day for night. It's not a gel. It's not blue light being shone on them, it looks weird and fake.

They get shocked by Pox being almost nekkid and mountain hermit yelling at them for being cursed. The trio get scared and back the hell outta there.

Once the light of morning has risen, things don't seem so bad, and Eric plays a prank on his friends to get them back, before they then they go to the bar. The second favourite activity of good ol' boys.

They describe the weirdo in the woods to their waitress, and say he had yellowed, filed down teeth, and look, dudes, I was there, I even have the screenshot, and there's no way you could tell those details in that lighting.

And as if on cue, Pox walks in, and at least by now he's put on a shirt. He's a regular visitor to the bar, and the trio bully him out, and then continue the bullying when Pox eggs their pickup.

They find him biking home, shove him off the road, and curbstomp his head.

Pox returns home and the witch patches him up, while eating out of a can of Friskies. And to make a long story not quite as long, if you've picked up on his weird behaviour so far, it is zero surprise when Pox turns out to be the witch's cat, who is sometimes a real boy.

The witch finds the boys celebrating their victory, asks them if they know what it's like to be the title of the movie, then blows some magic powder in their faces.

We briefly see Hollis have a nightmare, and in a lot of ways, this movie is very close to the classic voodoo/zombie setup. Offend a supposed magic user, get hit in the face with 'magic powder', people think you're dead, and because of the power of suggestion, you think you're cursed.

The movie goes a bit more literal, but it's interesting seeing this sort of take on the familiar tropes.

Later, the trio wake up feeling sick as a dog, and with spotty marks all over their faces. They try to decide what to do about it, and Eric wants to get back at her. How dare she attack us for attacking her son!! We have to get her even more back now!

He sees a pair of kids across the way that are always trying to bum some money off folks, and decide that to protect themselves, they pay the kids, and have them wreck the witch's house. For vengeance!

Goofus and Gallant wander up to the Witchouse, and we cut to some time later, when she's returning home. She notices her cat doesn't come running, and eventually finds the poor thing boiled on the stove.

The old crone is no fool, so plots to get her revenge on the three guys, beginning with preparing a bath that transforms her into a younger, prettier self.

She heads down to the bar, and easily catches the eye of the boys. She heavily flirts with them until one of them gets up the nerve to talk to her.

Hollis goes over to flirt with her, and I guess it's Halloween, as half the people are dressed up, and Hollis asks her what her costume is made out of.

The four head back to Hollis's place I guess, and no joke, she takes her turn with all three of them.

Once she has had her way with the boys, and they've passed out, Abigail leaves and returns home. Once she's there, she gathers some pumpkins, and starts to feel pain.

Yeah, if I had sex with all three of those losers, my ovaries would be in pain too.

She slices the pumpkins in half, and after dropping her placenta, places it, and a few other ingredients, into the pumpkins, before planting them outside to grow.

Which they quickly do, into a trio of mindless minion children.

If you don't have fresh placenta, store bought is fine.

The next day, the stoner kids show up and tell Eric what happened, and he is ready to beat feet out of town, because he knows they're gonna get it for the cat's death.

As Eric is packing his van, Abi shows up and uses her feminine wiles to convince him to stay just a little longer. That's what you get for thinking with your small brain.

Following the best sex he's had, the lights go out, and Eric hears something clomping around. He grabs a bat, and goes to investigate.

He finds Shugi tied up, and that's when Abi reveals who she really is, and calls in her boys to take care of their daddy. At least he died after having the best sex of his life.

The next day, Hollis and JB are bumming around the workshop when Eric calls them, slowly reciting a poem about what it's like to be Dead And Rotting.

Since these three have been well established to be merry pranksters, that's what this is brushed off as, and I like that as an excuse to not be worried.

That night, JB is watching Polymorph (which I had an absolute BLAST with over on the Blood Stream!) when Abi and the Pumpkin Patch Kids show up.

I will say, the movie has some pretty good effects, like when JB punches one of the Pumpkin Placenta People, and their jaw becomes dislodged.

Abi drags JB back to her shack, and he tries to apologise, but is shocked to learn that the kids killed her son. He's confused by this, until Abi declares that the cat WAS her son, and not sure if he's now less confused or more.

She feeds him some goop so he can join his friends in being potato heads, and that just leaves Hollis.

Abi homes in on her final target, and meets him at the bar. Following more sex, she reveals herself to Hollis, and unlike the rest, he fights back a bit more effectively. Having a gun helps.

He makes it outside, but wrestles one of the creatures to the ground. It probably has the advantage, until the other stoner, Asher, shows up and clonks it on the head. They both make it to Asher's car and drive off.

The two catch each other up, and decide their best course of action is to get a witch of their own...and Asher just so happened to date a former stripper who was also a witch.

Rose shoves a gun in their face, since Asher's a bit of a douche, but Hollis' story convinces her to help. Or at least buy some time.

In order to stop the witch, they must use "a whammy" which is powerful magic, and requires a part of your physical body for the spell. So Hollis clips off his pinky finger for the sacrifice.

So they drive back to town, Asher uses the car horn to distract the Pumpkin Patch Kids, and Hollis rushes inside to do the deed.

Hollis confronts the witch, and she tries to convince him not to use the whammy, saying she just wanted to teach them a lesson, and she can still save his friends. And Shugi too!

One of the Pumpkinheads tackles him, and he drops his whammy. But that's when Asher shows up, revealing he too sacrificed a finger for his won whammy, and tosses it at Abi.

Big money, no whammies, no whammies…STOP!!

Asher takes a brick and wallops the weakened, true form of the witch a few times, and that takes care of her and the creatures.

So a pair of assholes are confronted with their mistakes, don't grow much at all, and are allowed to walk off into the sunrise.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: It looks all right, pretty average, maybe a bit weaker than I’d expect for 2002, but fair enough.

Audio: Pretty good, and they used the full mix pretty well, I kept getting some nice sound in the bar on my surround speakers.

Sound Bite: "That cat...WAS MY SON" Holy shit, the most batshit line said with the most conviction.

Body Count: I would like a little more, but they’re okay.

1 - Just short of 21 minutes in, and Pox gets boiled.

2 - Shugi gets killed.

3 - Eric takes a sickle to the chest.

4 - JB is the next to get stickled

5 - The witch gets bricked by the kid

Best Corpse: They’re all kinda samey, but Eric getting stabbed in the chest isn’t bad

Blood Type - C: Not the best, not the worst, with a few good splats of blood here and there. Most points go to the placenta, and the makeup effects.

Sex Appeal: Nekkid Abi from time to time

Drink Up! Every time you hear Dead and Rotting

Movie Review: So. Was this worth the 20 year wait? Short answer, no. Long answer, still no. But, it definitely wasn’t bad, and it’s fairly well done, and fun. And being under 80 minutes, I respect that it gets in and gets out, without overstaying its welcome. The acting is solid for this sort of movie, there’s some good jokes, the effects aren’t bad…the story is pretty good too, and holds together well. So while it’s not the next big find, I definitely enjoyed it, and it’s not a bad way to kill an evening. Three out of five placentas

Entertainment Value: The acting is just that right side of good and ridiculous. Trent Hagaa as Eric is a particular highlight, and seeing him in a more straight role, out of Killjoy makeup was a definite treat. It’s just a ridiculous enough premise to be entertaining on its own, and stuff like Pox, and the witch chewing some scenery, are some nice touches. Three out of five bowls of milk.