Night School (1981) — Triskaidekafiles

NIGHT SCHOOL

WRITER: Ruth Avergon

DIRECTOR: Kenneth Hughes

STARRING: Leonard Mann as Judd Austin

Rachel Ward as Eleanor

Drew Snyder as Vincent Millett

Joseph R. Sicari as Taj

QUICK CUT: While attending night classes, women spend a lot of time when they should be studying at in the water.

THE MORGUE

Judd - A Boston detective who is good at his job, and struggling to find that work life balance. He can see connections where others don’t, and is more right than wrong.

Professor Millett - A teacher at a local girl's school who specialises in anthropology. He is also unable to keep his dick in his pants. Spoiler!

Eleanor - Millet’s assistant and one of his many conquests. When the police come around, she will go to great lengths to protect her lover.

Taj - A police sergeant who is friends with and works frequently with Austin. He’s a bit stuck in his career, but he likes it just fine, and he’s always got a quip ready to go to needle Austin.

The crime SOLVING school!! — The crime **SOLVING** school!!

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! It's September, so it's time to head back to school...Night School, to be exact! An obscure little slasher that felt like just the right thing as Autumn lurks around the corner. And before diving in, it came to my attention that just two days before this review goes live, is this movie’s 40th anniversary of being released in theatres! I cannot love the accidental timing more.

The movie begins at a daycare center with all the kids going home, and one of the teachers or whatever hanging around before leaving herself. However, before she can depart, a figure dressed all in biker leathers and a helmet shows up. If they have a nail gun, you better beat feet, Ms. Baron.

Instead, the figure gets the merry go round going very fast, pulls out a knife, and eventually takes her head. And with it, her power.

This is NOT a very merry go round at all.

The following morning we meet Boston detective Judd Austin and his girlfriend, when he gets called in to the crime scene I just described.

So Judd checks out the playground, and we see the body and head have been separated, the head dunked in a bucket of water some distance from the rest of her.

This also is not the first crime like this, although it's unclear how, and if, they are connected. The sergeant is worried this could become an epidemic, and don't worry, if it does, people will refuse to wear their masks, spit on potential victims, and come up with wild conspiracies against it.

There’s a head in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza…

Austin gets the ME report on the case, and the previous one, whose head was found in a duck pond several days after the body. Water, again, so he draws some loose connections.

He heads to the school Ann was attending when she wasn't working, to try and get a degree and become a teacher. This is where we meet, and Austin speaks to Professor Millett.

Millett actually says he didn't know her well, but directs the detective to Kim, a good friend of hers, and then Millett leaves with his aide Eleanor to check over some notes.

And let's make this quick, I'm heading into the woods to be hunted by Joey Pants' mother.

The most important thing we learn is that Ann had a boyfriend, whom she kept secret from everyone, and the assumption is that he was an older man and someone she knew. Hmm!

As Austin leaves, Eleanor heads to a nearby diner, and she gets bothered by a really creepy dishwasher who is overly friendly to her at her table.

Later, that same creeper tries to follow her home, but Eleanor ends up ducking back inside the house she shares with Millett, just in time.

This guy’s name might as well be Redd Herring.

Eleanor jumps in to take a shower and wash the fright off her, and someone keeps trying to ring her doorbell. She can't quite hear it over the rushing water, and every time she stops to listen, so does the ringing.

It's not long before the ringing stops for good, and Eleanor sets about finishing up her shower.

As she does so, we see a figure through the curtain creeping closer and closer, a foreboding sense of doom coming over the film.

But it only turns out this was all Professor Millett, who tried ringing the bell, and when she didn't answer, he let himself in. Not sure why he was ringing the bell in his own house, but we’re not supposed to know that yet!

For all that buildup and teasing, starting with the chase and up through the fakeout, that sure was anticlimactic. Capped off by a lengthy scene of foreplay before sex.

After that we head to the Boston Aquarium where Kim is feeding the fishies, and as she heads to get changed, we spy the Biker stalking her. Hey, I’ve been there!

The Biker slashes at her a few times, tosses a net on her, and eventually gets around to taking her head. And with it, her power.

At least at the aquarium, they'll have no problem finding water to put the head in to keep it fresh.

Aww, she’s too small, you’re gonna have to throw her back.

I mean, d'you think the killer does the deed, then spends like, five minutes consulting a map, looking for the nearest body of water they can use? Until he gets frustrated and just goes and grabs a bucket?

Judd heads over to Millett's house to ask him some questions, and is surprised to see Eleanor there, who tries to keep the detective out.

The cop outright asks the professor if he was having an affair with Ann and/or Kim, and he flat denies both of them.

“And he’s not sleeping with me either!” “I…I wasn’t going to ask, but since you bring it up…”

I joke, but once Austin leaves, the two have a spat and yell at each other, Eleanor professes her love for the professor, and she knows she'll never be enough for him, after past affairs.

Eleanor cools off at the diner, and Millett shows up soon after on a motorcycle to apologise and make up, and we find out she's pregnant.

The waitress comes by, and Millett, having not learned a single thing in these past ten minutes, flirts with her. In front of his pregnant secret girlfriend.

He heads to the school to speak with the registrar, but she's busy speaking to ANOTHER student he is sleeping with.

HOW many of you has he assigned extra credit assignments to??

Later that night, the waitress is closing up the diner by herself, when Biker Billy shows up to take care of her.

She gets chased outside, where the killer eventually finds her and takes her head. And with it, her power.

We return to the diner the following morning, as the owner finds the place is trashed, thinking Carol left the place unlocked and vandals snuck in.

There is a wonderfully long sequence where you KNOW the head is gonna turn up, you don't know where, expecting it to roll out or be behind anything, and it is so wonderfully paced until they eventually find it in the sink.

Austin from Boston and Taj show up, and they want to question the weird guy who creeps on everyone, which is a reasonable assumption with the way he acts. Austin is getting pretty antsy, and with all these deaths around water, he’s about one coffee and cigarette away from asking for bigger fucking guns.

Our investigators head to Redd Herring's place to question him, and while Taj does that, Austin pokes around. After a few minutes, he decides there's nothing to see, and they leave

Laying it on a bit thick with that hockey mask.

Judd heads back to the professor's place, and when no one is home, he just breaks in, like a good cop.

Eleanor soon shows up to interrupt his snooping, and we learn some more about ancient head taking rituals, that they are put in water to cleanse them of evil, and that the headhunters believed they would take their life force. SEE! IT IS A HIGHLANDER MOVIE!!

She heads over to the school to clue the professor in, and walks in as the registrar is tearing into him about his affairs.

He blurts out, "Who do you think you are??" to her, as Eleanor runs off. And uh, I dunno dude, YOUR BOSS??

Austin tries to stake out Millett and follow him, but loses him thanks to a garbage truck. Fortunately, Taj calls from the registrar's home, where Redd Herring is also lurking about.

Taj goes to arrest Redd, but all he's there for is to be a weird peeping Tom, doing a Uatu on the registrar as she's making out with the other other other other girl Millett was banging.

She gets pulled away by a phone call, and runs into Biker Billy, and her head ends up in the toilet to be found by the girl. And as she's busy screaming, the Biker is there to finish her off too.

Well that’s the last time I go to Arby’s.

Judd hears all the commotion and rushes in, but the Biker shoves past and escapes.

Taj, busy handcuffing Redd, realises he has the wrong guy, but drags his collar along anyways, since y'know, still was committing crimes.

The Biker rushes off, parks the bike, and we watch as the figure enters a building, starts by taking off the helmet, a few more layers and the killer...is revealed!!

Gasp, shock, I could not have seen this coming.

Okay okay, as obvious as the reveal might be, it's actually very well done, and still comes off pretty satisfying, if you've been paying attention. Also, for a film made in 1980, a female slasher is pretty rare, and I give it credit for that as well.

Millett comes downstairs at the same time though, and he gets the realisation as well, which honestly helps sell the reveal, since we get to see it from his perspective. His disgust is also a helpful thing.

Eleanor heads upstairs to fix them something to eat, and we hear sirens coming for her. And there's a great bit of manipulation by her about if they killed her, they'd kill their baby.

She goes to say hi to the cops with a knife, and as Austin pounds on the door, we see the Biker take off down the street.

Austin chases the Biker, and Taj isn't far behind WITH REDD HERRING STILL WITH THEM. That weird little detail tickles me SO DAMNED MUCH. Just...poor guy.

The chase ends with the Biker being boxed in by cops, and Austin eventually shooting them off the bike. They fly off the bike and flip over a cop car, breaking their neck. The helmet is removed and...It's the professor!!

Another very obvious twist, but slightly less so, and just as well handled. It's a good, logical twist, to have him act as a distraction and either buy Eleanor enough time, or take the blame and protect his family.

Taj thinks everything is all wrapped up, and Judd isn't so sure, and of course, we know he's right.

We jump to the funeral for Millett, where Boston Austin confronts Eleanor once everyone has left. He asks her if the ceremony is over, and she says yes. Since it would be too hard to prove it was her, and they have a scapegoat, Austin doesn't have much choice but to let her go, and keep an eye on her.

The movie could have ended there, with the killer getting away scott free, albeit heartbroken, and Austin riding off into the sunset, but it goes on a bit longer, as Austin gets into his car, and suddenly...A BLACK CLAD BIKER JUMPS UP FROM THE BACKSEAT!!

...And it's just Taj playing a prank. Wow. Just wow.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: Pretty good, no complaints.

Audio: Perfectly average.

Sound Bite: "We've met a few kooks in Boston, but headhunters? Not too many."

Body Count: It’s not got a high amount, but it makes the most of it.

1 - 4:30 in and Miss Baron gets beheaded

2 - Kim gets sliced up

3 - Carol the waitress gets sliced up

4 - Killer takes out the registrar

5 - And then Cathy

6 - And finally Millett gets gunned down and flipped up.

Best Corpse: They’re all pretty samey, but I think I like Kim at the aquarium best, we get a good chase.

Blood Type - C+: There’s not a lot of blood, and they cut away from most of the heads before you realise it’s just a wig in a bucket.

Sex Appeal: No flat out naughty bits, but they get as close to that with the shower scene as you possibly can

Drink Up! Every time you meet another of the professor’s conquests.

Movie Review: I came away really liking this. It’s a solid slasher that has a decent plot. It may be very slow at times, but I appreciate the deliberateness with which it sets things up, and builds the tension in a few scenes. The twists are obvious, but that’s because it properly sets them up, and the reactions are what make them work. After I watched it, I read some reviews, and everyone was comparing it to giallo, but I personally thought that comparrison is kinda weak. The killer wears black gloves, and that’s about it. It’s nowhere near as weird or stylish enough to REALLY be a giallo. An American attempt at giallo lite, sure, but not much more than that. Still, a solid three out of five biker helmets

Entertainment Value: In much the same vein, there’s not too much weirdness ehre going on to reall be baffled and entertained by, but the acting is good, and the chemistry between Judd and Taj is a solid highlight. The kills are good, and adequately creative. A very solid, if not standout, movie. Three out of five buckets of water.