Triskaidekafiles

Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

Filtering by Category: Reviews

Ripper: Letter From Hell (2000)

RIPPER: LETTER FROM HELL

WRITER: Story by John Curtis and Evan Tylor
    Screenplay by Pat Bermel

DIRECTOR: John E. Eyres

STARRING: A.J. Cook as Molly Keller
    Bruce Payne as Marshall Kane
    Claire Keim as Chantal Etienne
    Ryan Northcott as Jason Korda
    Derek Hamilton as Eddie Sackman
    Courtenay J. Stevens as Aaron Kroeker
    Emmanuelle Vaugier as Andy Carter
    Daniella Evangellista as Mary-Anne Nordstrom
    Kelly Brook as Marisa Tavares
    Jurgen Prochnow as Detective Kelso

QUICK CUT: Five years after a massacre, sole survivor Molly Keller is off to college, and another string of murders begins amongst her classmates.  Oh, and there's some Jack the Ripper stuff involved, maybe.

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Puppet Master 4 (1993)

PUPPET MASTER 4

WRITERS: Screenplay by Todd Henschell, Steven E. Carr, Jo Duffy, and Doug Aarniokoski & Keith Payson.

DIRECTOR: Jeff Burr

STARRING: Gordon Currie as Rick Myers
    Chandra West as Susie
    Jason Adams as Cameron
    Teresa Hill as Lauren
    Felton Perry as Dr. Carl Baker
    Stacie Randall as Dr. Leslie Piper
    Guy Rolfe as Andre Toulon

QUICK CUT: Toulon's puppets are back AGAIN, and this time their history is arguably delved into as the source of their magic life-giving elixir shows up to stop the secrets of it from being discovered.  Meanwhile, a tech geek is trying to create artificial life while playing with robots.

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Colony of the Dark (1995)

COLONY OF THE DARK

WRITER: Robert Gursha

DIRECTOR: Thomas Berna

STARRING: Joan Dinco as Jenny Dole
    David Rommel as Jim Matthews
    Anna Zizzo as Meredith Weaver
    Susan Cane as Suzanne Dole
    Steven F.L. Dompike as Security Guard

QUICK CUT: Married womanizing scientist Jim Matthews is discovered by his wife and fellow scientist.  In a fit of anger she throws an experimental serum in his face and this makes his limbs fall off and kill people.

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Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

WRITERS: John Saxton, Peter Jobin, Timothy Bond

DIRECTOR: J. Lee Thompson

STARRING: Melissa Sue Anderson as Virginia
    Glenn Ford as Dr. Faraday
    Lawrence Dane as Hal Wainwright
    Sharon Acker as Estelle
    Tracy Bregman as Ann
    Jack Blum as Alfred
    Matt Craven as Steve
    Lenore Zann as Maggie
    David Eisner as Rudi
    Michel Rene Labelle as Etienne
    Richard Rebiere as Greg
    Lesleh Donaldson as Bernadette
    Lisa Langlois as Amelia

QUICK CUT: As Virginia's birthday draws near, memories from the accident that took her mother away from her begin to resurface, just in time for her friends to start dropping like flies.

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Blood Cult (1985)

BLOOD CULT

WRITER: Stuart Rosenthal and additional dialogue by James Vance

DIRECTOR: Christopher Lewis

STARRING: Julie Andelman as Tina
    Charles Ellis as Ron
    Josef Hardt as Doc White
    James Vance as Joel
    David Brent Stice as Deputy

QUICK CUT: When a local sheriff is gearing up for his big reelection campaign, the worst happens and a slasher begins picking off college co-eds in Oklahoma.  What connection do these incidents have to an ancient order of witches, and will Sheriff Ron Labois find out before it's too late?

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Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS

WRITER: Derek Ford & Al McGoohan

DIRECTOR: Edmund Purdom

STARRING: Edmund Purdom as Inspector Harris
    Caroline Munro as Herself
    Alan Lake as Giles
    Belinda Mayne as Kate
    Gerry Sundquist as Cliff Boyd
    Mark Jones as Detective Sergeant Powell

QUICK CUT: Santa Claus is coming to town...and the morgue!  A rash of Santa Claus murders is clogging up the streets of London, and some Scotland Yard inspectors look into things.  Until the lead wanders off the set.

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Jack Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

JACK FROST 2

WRITER & DIRECTOR: Michael Cooney

STARRING: Christopher Allport as Sam Tiler
    Eileen Seeley as Anne Tiler
    Chip Heller as Joe
    Marsha Clark as Marla
    Ray Cooney as the Colonel
    David Allen Brooks as Agent Manners
    Sean Patrick Murphy as Captain Fun
    Tai Bennet as Bobby
    Jennifer Lyons as Rose
    Shonda Farr as Ashlea
    Granger Green as Paisley
    Ian Abercrombie as Doctor
    Scott MacDonald as the voice of Jack Frost

QUICK CUT: After suffering a nervous breakdown following the events of the first Jack Frost movie, Sheriff Sam Tiler tries to get away from Snowmonton for the holidays, but while vacationing in the tropics for Christmas he learns the hard way that you can't escape the wrath of Jack Frost.

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Maniac (1980)

MANIAC

WRITER: Screenplay by C.A. Rosenberg and Joe Spinell
   Story by Joe Spinell

DIRECTOR: William Lustig

STARRING: Joe Spinell as Frank Zito
   Caroline Munro as Anna D'Antoni
   Gail Lawrence as Rita
   Kelly Pipper as Nurse
   Rita Montone as Hooker
   Tom Savini as Disco Boy
   Hyla Marrow as Disco Girl
   James Brewster as Beach Boy

QUICK CUT: Frank Zito wasn't happy with how Jay carved up Trisk's Thanksgiving turkey, so decided to swing by and show him how a slasher movie should be done.

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Home Sweet Home (1981)

HOME SWEET HOME

WRITER: Thomas Bush

DIRECTOR: Nettie Pena

STARRING: Jake Steinfeld as Jay/The Killer
   Vinessa Shaw as Angel
   Peter De Paula as Mistake
   Don Edmunds as Bradley
   Charles Hoyes as Wayne
   David Mielke as Scott
   Leira Naron as Gail
   Lisa Rodriguez as Maria
   Colette Trygg as Jennifer
   Salee Young as Linda

SYNOPSIS: Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner?  A crazed, escaped mental patient homicidal maniac high on PCP!

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Puppet Master 3 (1991)

PUPPET MASTER 3

WRITER: C. Courtney Joyner

DIRECTOR: David DeCoteau

STARRING: Guy Rolfe as Andre Toulon
   Sarah Douglas as Elsa Toulon
   Walter Gotell as General Mueller
   Ian Abercrombie as Dr. Hess
   Kristofer Logan as Lt. Eric Stein
   Aron Eisenberg as Peter Hertz
   Matthew Faison as Papa Hertz
   Richard Lynch as Major Kraus

QUICK CUT: Before Toulon's puppets were bloodthirsty killers, they lived simple lives as living puppet performers in his show.  But World War II changed all that, and changed Toulon, and things would never be the same again.

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Demons of Ludlow (1983)

DEMONS OF LUDLOW

WRITERS: William Arthur & Alan Ross

DIRECTOR: Bill Rebane

STARRING: Paul Van Hausen as the Preacher
   Stephanie Cushna as Debra
   James R. Robinson as Winifred
   Carol Perry as Ann Schultz
   C. Dave Davis as Mayor Sam Donaldson
   Debra Dulman as Sybill
   Angailica as Ludlow's daughter

QUICK CUT: The New England town of Ludlow is celebrating its bicentenial, and as part of the celebration, the descendant of the town's founder has sent an antique ivory piano as a gift.  Oh, and the piano contains murderous pilgrim demons.  Murderous.  Pilgrim.  Demons.

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Species 2 (1998)

SPECIES 2

WRITER: Chris Brancato

DIRECTOR: Peter Medak

STARRING: Michael Madsen as Preston Lennox
   Natasha Henstridge as Eve
   Marg Helgenberger as Laura Baker
   Mykelti Williamson as Gamble
   George Dzundza as Colonel Burgess
   James Cromwell as Senator Ross
   Myriam Cyr as Anne Sampras
   Sarah Wynter as Melissa
   Baxter Harris as Dr. Orinsky
   Justin Lazard as Patrick Ross

QUICK CUT: Sil's back, but this time she's Eve.  But not evil.  She's on our side, and fighting to stop a new strain of her alien parental DNA strand when it's brought back to Earth during our first manned mission to Mars.  Even though that's not how we got the strand in the first place.  More sex, violence, and plot holes in the Species tradition ensues.

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The Ripper (1985)

THE RIPPER

WRITER: Bill Groves

DIRECTOR: Christopher Lewis

STARRING: Tom Schreier as Richard Harwell
   Mona Van Pernis as Carol
   Wade Tower as Steve
   Tom Savini as The Ripper
   Andrea Adams as Cindy

QUICK CUT: A college professor specialising in famous crimes in cinema coincidentally stumbles upon the lost ring of Jack the Ripper.  A ring which just so happens to contain the spirit of Jack, which is let loose upon the world once more.  Wackiness ensues.

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Lurking Fear (1994)

LURKING FEAR

WRITERS: Short story by H.P. Lovecraft
   Movie by C. Courtney Joyner

DIRECTOR: C. Courtney Joyner

STARRING: John Finch as Bennett
   Blake Bailey as John Martense
   Ashley Lauren as Cathryn Farrell
   Jeffrey Combs as Doctor Haggis
   Allison Mackie as Ms. Marlowe
   Paul Mantee as Father Poole
   Joe Leavengood as Pierce
   Vincent Schiavellia as Knaggs

QUICK CUT: A Lovecraft story about creatures living underneath a town and eating the residents gets run over by a noir story about criminals seeking a buried fortune.  Hilarity ensues.

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Horror High (1974)

HORROR HIGH

WRITER: Jack Fowler

DIRECTOR: Larry N. Stouffer

STARRING: Pat Cardi as Vernon Potts
   Austin Stoker as Lieutenant Bozeman
   Rosie Holotik as Robin Jones
   John Niland as Coach McCall
   Joy Hash as Miss Grindstaff
   Mike McHenry as Roger Davis
   Jeff Alexander as Mister Griggs

QUICK CUT: Take the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, then transplant it to a high school in Texas with a nerdy kid killing his oppresors, and you get Horror High.

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Curse 2: The Bite (1988)

CURSE 2: THE BITE

WRITERS: Susan Zelouf & Federico Prosperi

DIRECTOR: Fred Goodwin

STARRING: Jill Schoelen as Lisa Snipes
   J. Eddie Peck as Clark Newman
   Jamie Farr as Harry Morton
   Bo Svenson as The Sheriff

QUICK CUT: The aftermath of the events at the Gardner farm come home to roost, as the space goo infects more water and more people...wait, what?  This has nothing to do with the first movie?  At all?  Then what's this about?  A radioactive snake bites a guy and turns his arm into a snake?  What does that have to do with a meteor from space poisoning the water supply??  How is this a sequel?  Sigh.

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The Curse (1987)

THE CURSE 1

WRITER: David Chaskin

DIRECTOR: David Keith

STARRING: Wil Wheaton as Zack
   Claude Akins as Nathan
   Malcolm Danare as Cyrus
   Cooper Huckabee as Forbes
   John Schneider as Willis
   Amy Wheaton as Alice
   Steve Carlisle as Davidson
   Kathleen Jordan Gregory as Frances

QUICK CUT: A young farmboy living with a cruel, religious father wishes he could escape into the stars aboard the Enterprise.  Instead, the stars come to him and makes Zack long for the days when his stepfather just backhanded him daily.

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Sssssss

SSSSSSS (1972)

WRITEN BY: Screenplay by Hal Dresner
   Story by Matt Striepeke

DIRECTED BY: Bernard L. Kowalski

STARRING:
  
Strother Martin as Dr. Carl Stoner
   Dirk Benedict as David Blake
   Heather Menzies as Kristine Stoner
   Richard B. Shul as Dr. Daniels
   Tim O. Connor as Kogen
   Jack Ging as Sheriff
   Kathleen King as Kitty
   Reb Brown as Steve Rogers...er, Randall

QUICK CUT: When Dr. Stoner needs a new research assistant for his herpetological research, he recruits David Blake from the local college.  Oh, and he turns him into a snake for shits and giggles.

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Murder Mansion (1972)

MURDER MANSION

WRITER:
   Story by Luis G. De Blain
   Screenplay by Luis G. De Blain & Antonio Troisio

DIRECTOR: Francisco Lara Polop

STARRING:
   Evelin Stewart as Martha Clinton
   Analia Gade as Elsa
   Anna Lisa Nardi as Laura
   Andres Resino as Fred
   Franco Fantasia as Mr. Porter
   Alberto Dalbes as Ernest

QUICK CUT: A whole bunch of people in a whole lot of plotlines all end up in the same mansion, and people start dying.  Who's the madman behind the murders, and why are they dying?  These questions and more will go unanswered in this murder mystery!

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Species (1995)

SPECIES

WRITTEN BY: Dennis Feldman

DIRECTED BY: Roger Donaldson

STARRING: Ben Kingsley as Xavier Fitch
   Michael Madsen as Preston Lennox
   Alfred Molina as Stephen Arden
   Forest Whitaker as Dan Smithson
   Marg Helgenberger as Dr. Laura Baker
   Michelle Williams as Young Sil
   Natasha Henstridge as Sil

Quick Cut: After receiving the code for alien DNA in a response to our SETI experiments, scientists create a human/alien hybrid creature.  Once she escapes and feels the biological imperative to breed, a ragtag team of scientists and a mercenary try to track her down before she makes the human race irrelevant.

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