What I'm Watching: Age of the Dragons

This was a surprising little gem.

Basically, what AotD is, is a modern day retelling of one of the greatest stories ever written, Moby Dick.  Except whales have been replaced with dragons.

Freakin' dragons.

And the replacement TOTALLY works.

Okay, the Pequod now being a land-based vessel with no obvious means of moving is a bit strange, but it's a fantasy movie with dragons!  They're harvesting their burny juice!  Who cares how the tank moves?

This movie has been largely panned, and has a mere 3.3 on IMDB, and it is SO not deserving of it.  It isn't great, but it is NOT THAT BAD.  I'd give it at LEAST a five, and easily a six.

Danny Glover as Captain Ahab is amazing.  As he usually is.  He chews the scenery a bit, but such an obsessive character as Ahab can get away with it.

The movie has been slammed for just being a 'find and replace' of Moby Dick with dragons, and that's maybe a bit true, but the story still works.  And the fantastical nature of it translates well to this new world.  Something about it just moves well from whales to dragons.  And really, they make no secret the movie is Moby Dick with dragons.  All the character names are there, there are lines of dialogue.  It's silly to slam it for that.  It's like blasting West Side Story for being too similar to Romeo & Juliet. ;)  Although, this is no West Side Story, not by a long shot.  Still.

I wonder if someone saw that bit on old maps, "Here there be dragons" and thought of whales, and Moby Dick, and it somehow morphed into this.

AotD is far from a great movie, but it has solid roots, is a good adaptation of a classic work, and is actually pretty interesting.

I might be more critical of the film if I was more familiar with Moby Dick.  I've read Melville's book, but it was a LONG time ago, so all that's really in my brain are those parts that are inside our collective cultural subconscious.  There's a lot of narration by Ishmael, and I wonder just how much of that was lifted directly from the source material and left untouched, aside from the obvious use of 'dragon'.  If a lot of it is, it really shows just how well it works, and just how well the original holds up.

It really is a lesson in just why the original is a classic, and why the themes are timeless and always useful.

Oh yeah, and the effects are actually pretty good, for a direct to video release.

Age of the Dragons isn't a high recommendation, but you can do worse, and if it comes on tv, I'd watch it again.

And hey, the movie opens up with a young Ahab trying to PUNCH A DRAGON IN THE FACE.  Punch.  A dragon.  In the face.  That's just bad-ass, even if he missed.

J

What I'm Watching: The Whisperer in Darkness

This is going to be a big WIW week, as I've got a handful of movies to talk about, but for now we'll just start with this one, The Whisperer in Darkness.

If you're familiar with the Lovecraftian Cthulhu Mythos, then you are likely familiar with this story from the 1930s.

If not, then here is the short version: A sceptical college professor has been conversing with a man in Vermont, and learning about strange creatures and the strange things they're doing.  He travels to my home state, and is dragged kicking and screaming into a world of alien monsters, looming insanity, and disembodied brains.

This movie was amazing.

The people behind the movie, members of the HPL Historical Society, decided to take the idea of making a movie as if it was made when the story was written, like happens so often these days.  So, the movie was made in the style of a 1930s black and white 'talkie'.

And it TOTALLY works.  SO many Lovecraft movie adaptations end up being pretty damned terrible, if entertainingly so.  But doing in that slightly stilted style, where you can be overly dramatic, and not really blink...totally works.  Sure, it's very much a 1930s movie (With the exception of some CGI for the Mi-go), but if you're willing to take that and run with it, this is a very fun ride.

This may well be the best Lovecraft movie I've ever seen.  The style, the story, the acting actually isn't terrible, and having this modern day throwback, and yet made with modern sensibilities so it doesn't have to be completely bad and dated...just makes everything click.

The ending has a few odd moments for me, but overall, this is one of the most fun and unique movies I've seen in awhile, and it really tickled my Lovecraft loving heart with a drippy, glistening tentacle.

If you love Lovecraft, this is an absolute must see movie.  If the experiment of a 1930s movie being done today intrigues you, then you won't be disappointed.  The pace is a little slow at times, but that's to be expected, since this is not a big action movie, and more thought provoking and thinking.  Which is just fine.

These guys need to make more movies, now.  And I need to check out Call of Cthulhu, although I'm not sure how much I'll like that as a silent film.

J

What I'm Watching: Dark Knight Rises

And thus ends Christopher Nolan's esteemed Batman trilogy.  There have been issues, there have been voices that may not have been the best and went on to inspire many an internet gag, there was craziness, insanity, and one of the best Jokers ever.

So, how DOES it end?  Well, I'm not going to get into too many plot details, but it ends REALLY REALLY well.

This is a true end to a trilogy of movies, and these three movies truly are a trilogy.  The first movie is important, it is referenced, things come back, and almost everything ties together in the end.  The biggest, glaring omission is the Joker in the final movie but...well, we know what happened there, so that's fine.  I don't think it detracts from the final movie, or the full trilogy.  It would have just added that extra bit to make this a truly complete trilogy.

I have almost literally nothing bad to say about this movie.  There are large chunks of this movie where Batman is not even in it.  And I don't just mean, Christian Bale isn't in the batsuit, although there's that too.  Bruce disappears from the plot for awhile as well, but this story has SO much going on, all of it important, that you don't really miss him.  And it has the added bonus of minimising the Batvoice.  Which, I noticed while rewatching the first two movies this week...was not as pronounced in the original, and I wish he'd stuck with that version.

But there IS Bane's voice, and it suffers a little from being clearly processed, and it stands out as not being 'right'.  But Thomas Hardy is such a strong presence, and such a good actor, you can almost let it slide.  I can't quiiite pull it off myself, and I understand what happened there, and again, I can forgive it.

Voice aside, Hardy is awesome as Bane.  Hell, everyone is awesome.  Anne Hathaway proves she is an amazing Catwoman.  Joseph Gordon Levitt surprises everyone by unexpectedly stealing the show, and having a great character arc in what should be Batman's movie.

The movie has a TON going on.  The plot is complex.  It weaves in and out of itself, has tons of moving parts, and everything pays off.  Everything.  Even stuff from the first movie.  As I watched begins, I noticed the lines between Bruce and his dad, and how perfect they would fit into the themes of the final movie, and it was staring us in the face the whole time.  And I was SO pleased when those lines about needing to fall to learn to get back up, came into play.  So wonderfully done.

The absolute highlight of the movie for me, was that moment that was a true payoff for comic book geeks: Bane breaking Batman's back.  I literally was on the verge of squealing in the movie theatre.  And if I had heard any other noises from the crowd, I would have.  I barely contained myself.  So awesome to see on the screen.

I just...every inch of this movie was just perfectly done.  I would not change a frame.  I am sure others will have deeper criticism of the movie, more flaws they can find but...Nolan has shown us that comic book movies CAN be done seriously, can be true art, true films.  This is exactly what I wanted from a Batmovie, and for a movie that is nearly three hours long, I don't think it was padded at all, and found no real slow spots.  Maybe a few, but they are tiny, and with everything else being juggled, even the slowness goes by fast!

I had kinda figured out who Cotillard was pretty quickly, but then I had the joy of seeing all the little hints (Some of them straight out of the classic...Son of the Demon TPB, IIRC?) and story arc for her.  Masterful storytelling that works great as an original mystery, and then to see how well they laid the groundwork for it on rewatching.

Another great moment was tying back to a bit of Gordon's backstory from the first movie.  Another moment I wanted to cheer in the theatre, and just amazed me at how much they seemed to have thought this out.

I could easily sit here and just list scene after scene and why it was awesome.  I half expected this review to be nothing more than just "Awesome" repeated over and over.  I cannot recommend this movie highly enough.  If you loved the first two, you almost NEED to see this movie.  To do otherwise would be like reading a book and not reading the final chapter.

I think that Dark Knight still has a slightly better story, but this is a stronger film, and maybe stumbles a little by having so much going on.  But asking me to pick whether DK or DKR is better is like asking me to pick my favourite redhead.  Can't I love them all equally?

Hats of to Nolan, Bale, Caine, Ledger, Oldman, Freeman, Hathaway...every single person.  They delivered a great film, a great finale to a trilogy, and a great three movies that truly do serve as one giant story.

Such a nice change of pace to gush.

What I'm Watching: God Bless America

The watchathon continues!

This is a little different though, since GBA is very much NOT a horror movie.  Or any of our usual genres.  But I justify it in three ways:

1. It does have a heavy body count and a ton of blood.
2. It is a similar take to one of my all-time favourite movies, Falling Down.
3. It's my damned website, and I'll talk about what I want!

GBA is the story of Frank, a man who is fed up with life.  His neighbours drive him insane, especially the crying baby he describes as a nocturnally activated air raid siren.  His job is hell, until he gets fired.  He can't stand the state of people and the media and the news these days.  This is ALL very resonant to the country today.

He has fantasies of killing all these annoyances, much like we all do and never act upon, but once he gets the news that he has an inoperable brain tumour, Frank says fuck it and goes to take out a girl from one of those "My Super Sweet Sixteen" style reality shows.  Along the way he picks up a fellow student of his first victim, and discovers a kindred spirit in such a young person, and takes her along for the ride.

After his first victim, Frank seems at a loss for how to proceed, but he eventually finds more victims.  People who talk in movie theatres.  Purported newsmen who only spew out fear, jargon, and sound bites, and the entire workforce involved with the movie's parody of American Idol.

Pretty much every idiot that has ever pissed you off gets their comeuppance in this movie.  That guy who took up two parking spaces?  Dead.  Religious protesters?  Dead.  Judges on (Not) American Idol?  Dead.  It is the ultimate modern day revenge fantasy, and Frank lives it out for all of us frustrated Americans.

I FREAKING LOVE THIS MOVIE.

I echo a lot of Frank's sentiments.  I'm sure we all do.  And having a movie come out and do something about them is a GREAT release right now.  This is a more comedic take on the whole Falling Down idea of a regular guy snapping due to the world being crazy is a good idea, and the world has only gotten worse since D-FENS spread his reign of terror across the screen.

At the end of the day, Falling Down has more heart, but GBA is still really good, and should be enjoyed by fans of that movie, despite being funnier, and maybe being a bit on the nose and heavy handed with its message.  But Frank is so sincere in how he delivers it, you still go along with it.

It is amazing how you can sympathise with this killer, and the fact that we all have these thoughts helps, and Frank's own self-depricating humour does too.  The writing is sharp, and delivered by a great cast.  My only complaint is that Frank is maybe too preachy about how wrong everything is.  He says how all we do is regurgitate what we hear, and in some ways, I think Frank is doing the same, since he doesn't quite bring anything new to the table.

I laughed a lot during this movie, and SO many lines are quotable.  This is the sort of black humour I kept expecting Some Guy Who Kills People to deliver, and never quite got there.  This is an easy recommendation.

What I'm Watching: Some Guy Who Kills People

More posting!

This time out, I've got Some Guy Who Kills People.  How is that for a title?!  Starring the guy who played Sam Weiss in a half-dozen or so episodes of Fringe.  And the moment that clicked for me, I was quite amused.  Also, Barry Bostwick as a smart-ass, aging sheriff.

Some Guy is about a comic book fan, who back in high school was beaten and tormented for his obsession.  Years later, after a stay in a mental institution, the people who tormented Kenny Boyd, begin to drop dead.

Gee, whyever would I check such a movie out?

The movie starts off well enough, and has some amazing kills, but I think it gets bogged down a little too much in the more normal aspects of Kenny's life, and trying to deal with the sudden revelation that he has an 11 year old daughter he never knew about.  It's like there are two movies competing for space, and they never quite mesh.  This becomes less of a problem about two thirds of the way through the movie, but it took awhile for things to get to a balancing point.

I did really appreciate the black streak of humour, though.  I only wish there had been MORE of it.  I'm not sure if someone insisted it get toned down, but again, the balance just feels off.  You'll have long stretches of normal behaviour, and then just really jarring, dark bits of comedy.

Which I love, they just feel like someone poured Mountain Dew in my coffee.

I don't want to say too much about the ending, since I both saw it coming, and had the movie surprise me.  If you've seen the movie, I would be more than glad to discuss it further.  Or if you don't care, I'll spill the beans privately. ;)

As the movie ended, I felt myself in a rather good place about it.  There are not many movies about a mentally unstable potential revenge killer that you can stop and say, "Well, that was quite charming!"  The movie started to lose me at one point, but they really brought me around by the end.

A pleasant surprise, but still a little uneven with a few rough edges.  They don't ruin the movie, but I can't help feeling that it just didn't quite come off the way they thought it might.  They capture this little slice of midwestern Americana so perfectly, at least in the style and feel, if not the exact loation.  They ended up with a few lurking palm trees, but you don't really notice them.  The lemon tree though...  But I digress.  The feeling and tone is there.

Some Guy Who Kills Me is definitely worth seeing, as long as you don't expect greatness.

And yes, this is WAY WAY better than Clown Hunt.

What I'm Watching: Intruders

Hello again!

Got the DVD for the recent monster tale, Intruders.

I am of mixed feelings about the movie.  It has its highs, it has its lows, and I really think everything balances out to what amounts to little more than a perfectly okay movie.

Intruders tells the parallel tales of two children encountering this monster creature they know only as Hollowface.  He wants to take their faces, make them his own, and basically relcaim a life he once lost.  That's a great idea for a story, and having the story told in two seperate ways was good, and I especially thought the way the two stories finally came together, eventually freeing both children, was spectaularly well done.  Maybe not so much surprising, although I wasn't entierly expecting it.  More of an, "Ooooh, of course!" sort of idea.  I was more into enjoying the ride than solving the mystery while I was watching this morning.

There is some legitamitely freaky things in this movie.  Not quite scary to me, but definitely gets the old spine a-tinglin' in places.  The cast is pretty solid across the board, especially Clive Owen, but that should be no surprise.  The young actress who plays his daughter, and has to endure much of the horror and convey that sense of terror does a great job.

I loved the idea behind the monster.  It was creepy as hell, visually interesting for the most part, and the narration explaining what he is, or what the kids think he is, was well executed and really helped sell the tone.  I like how the creature manifested in different ways to the different kids, based on their own fears, and saying anything clearer would be spoilery.

I really liked the sense the movie was giving of writing being an important component to Hollowface's power, and while that didn't entirely play out how I hoped, it still showed the power of words, and I always appreciate that.  The power that stories have on us is always a good place to go.

The movie never quite took off though, and stayed pretty low-key for much of the time, as it slowly explored the threat.  A little more focus, a little tighter, maybe would have strengthened the movie.  BUT, just a little.  It really was well directed and executed.

The ending left a lot to be desired, and I won't spoil things too much, but it was a little disappointing with what I was hoping for.  It works for the story, and I'm sure this will grow on me over time, but I would have liked to have seen a different story.

Still, a good cast, in a well made movie, telling the story it wants to tell...hard to complain that much.  It won't blow you away, or scare your pants off, but it is entertaining, and tells a decent enough story.

J

What I'm Watching: Monster Brawl

Now this...this is an itneresting one.

Monster Brawl is a little low budget piece of movie from Canada.  The general concept is a series of playoff style, no holds barred, zero rules wrestling matches between some of the greatest monsters of all time.

OF ALL TIME!

Which all that?  Sounds awesome.  Sadly, the final product is not quite what I would have wanted.  The movie isn't really any more than what I just described.  Seriously.  There is no story here.  ZERO story.  It is literally like you tuned in one night to WCW, and instead got Monster Brawl.  And even professional wrestling has more story behind it, IMO.

The best parts of the movie are the little vignettes they show about the monster's backstory and prepping for the fight.  That was some cool stuff, and made it a little more than just a straight up parody of a wrestling program.  But they are few and far between.

So, this is really a 90 minute, live action version of MTV's old claymation show, Celebrity Deathmatch.  And even they used recognisable characters.  There is too much generic stuff here.  The only real 'name' is Frankenstein's Monster.  I want to see Dracula, not "Lady Vampire".  Although the amalgamation of all the swamp monsters into Swamp Gut, which is also a nice homage to the large wrestlers, was nifty.

The fighting was decent, but nothing to write home about, and I can't help but ponder if there was more of a budget if more couldn't have been done.  The gore is nice though.  There are some great low budget effects that are quite effective.  But for something that should be a no holds barred, fight to the death, all the moves felt too methodical, too thought out.  It needed some more speed and force to it.

There IS some cool stuff here.  The gore, like I said.  The writing in the dialogue is nice, and has some great moments from the commentators, played by Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall and Newsradio, and Art Hindle.  The movie also brings in wrestling icon Jimmy Hart to serve as an announcer, and he is brilliant.  If you've ever seen him, you know exactly what to expect, since he is playing himself.  And he's good at that!

Oh, and Kevin Nash as a slightly crazy general who brings a zombie to a vampire fight...he steals the show.  Or at least he steals what little Jimmy Hart left behind.  The movie builds him up to a really awesome place, but then fails to deliver on that promise, sadly.  Another bit of awesome that ends in a wasted opportunity.

If there had been a story, something to hang the fights on, this might have been an amazing low budget gem.  But as it is, it is way more WWE Smackdown than Bloodsport, and I wanted the latter.  It's good for what it is, and nails the right tone and feel of a wrestling match, but it's really not what I wanted.  Fans more into wrestling, and wanting a twist on that formula might get more out of this than I did.

It's an okay way to kill 90 minutes, with some good dialogue and characters, but it's just so empty, otherwise.  I wouldn't go rushing out to find this, but I wouldn't tell fans of monsters and fighting, and this site, to stay away from it.  There's something here, it just wasn't for me.

If there had been some more recognisable monsters, more story, better action...this would have been something special.  But, it didn't.

Such a shame.

J
Still, it's a little better than Clown Hunt.

What I'm Watching: Prometheus

Aww yeah, I bring you fire from the gods!  And by that, I mean the hot new movie by Ridley Scott.

It should come as no surpise that I love the original Alien movie, from '79.  I still remember pretty clearly watching it over at a friend's house, when my head wasn't covered in a blanket.  I prefer the original to Aliens, even.  Many people consider the sequel to be THE movie, but I lean more towards te first.

Now, before the hate mail starts (Although any mail would be a change from no mail, so knock yerselves out...), look at what I said.  I prefer the original.  I don't say I hate the second.  Alien is one of my all-time fave movies.  If I give it a 10 on a randomly arbitrary scale, I would put Aliens at an 8.5 to 9.

Alien is way more of a horror movie with scifi tones, and Aliens is an action movie with monsters and horrory tones licking at the edges.  Thinking of them that way, it should be pretty obvious why I lean more towards the former than the latter.  But the second is still really freaking good, just different, and telling a less interesting, to me, story.

And then there's Alien 3, and Alien: Ressurection.  Yeah, let's just forget about those, shall we?

SO, Prometheus!

The first question to get right out of the way is...is this a prequel to Alien?

Answer?  Oh hell yes.  There really is no denying that.  But it is less so a prequel to the other movies.  What do I mean by that?  Well, the later movies kinda diverge from the original, and do their own things, while Prometheus is very much in line with Scott's style, his themes, and everything else he set out to do with Alien.  The two movies are cut from the same cloth, by the same person, and the rest spin out of that, but this brings things right back to home base.

So naturally, it should be no surprise that there are a lot of similarities in the story, and how things play out.  But there are differences as well.  This isn't like watching a sequel and they hit all the same beats.  They kinda do, but in different ways, which is good.

If the original is a horror movie with some scifi trappings to it, Prometheus is a science fiction movie, with a few bits of horror lurking around.  It's an inversion of the previous movie in that way, and for the most part it works.

Where it doesn't work, is that there isn't quite enough horror.  The story never *quite* coalesces.  The movie leaves you at a place where things clearly HAVE to continue.  It's the first half of a story leading into the next movie.  By that, I mean Prometheus 2, not Alien.  Although, duh, it sets up that as well.  With the way things end, it actually sets up two seperate franchises, and makes a very neat, divergent set of stories to tell.  One of which has already been told, and one that is yet to be told.  That's rather clever, but without that second movie, this is really just the story of a bunch of explorers landing on a planet hoping to find the origins of humanity, getting killed off mostly, and the survivors flying off to continue their quest.

It works as the first chapter in a greater journey of exploration, and since I believe that was what they were going for, the idea that not all answers are found, then I am not too upset.  And since this movie is well told, well made, and well acted...then having a bit of a climactic fizzle...well, I can live with that.

The main cast were all great, and a subpar story told by a great cast definitely help bring it up.  Michael Fassbender continues to impress, this time as the android David.  Charlize Theron is perfect as the hard-ass leader of the mission, and Noomi Rapace is a sympathetic, curious scientist that started this whole ball rolling.  Also of note is Idris Elba as the ship's captain, who brings a good sense of humour and cynicism to the cast, to keep things light aboard the ship.

It does answer a few questions from the Alien mythos, while leaving others WAY up in the air, annoyingly enough.  It does have some great scenes in it, and hey!  It's Ridley Freakin' Scott.  He's kinda lost me in recent years, and I felt many of his movies of late could use a tighter edit to strengthen them, and there's a bit of that here, but in a movie with horror in its nature, then you want a slow pace.  You want that tension.  It also works well for the slow, langurious drifting of the Prometheus through space.  These sorts of movies are where Scott's sometimes slow style actually work to their benefit.  I never once found myself tapping my foot waiting for something to happen, even when I probably should, because it worked well for the pacing.

Sadly, for a movie that is the precursor to the Alien franchise, there's very little alien action.  There are a few creatures here and there that attack, a proto-face hugger or two, but since this has to set things up for the first movie, it doesn't quite have the aliens to play with that we want them to have.  If there had been more monsters to play with, paying things off in a more tangible way, then it would have been a stronger movie, I think.

I do like that now that we have the story of the Aliens out of the way here, and those adventures continue off in the previous movies, the Prometheus franchise can now go off and do its own thing, with its own creatures, and not be tied down to the past, which should make for a great sequel in a few years as things continue.

If you're a fan of the original Alien movie, Prometheus is almost a must see.  It is very much a companion piece to that movie, and the two go hand in hand with each other.  Like I said, it has much less to do with the other films, only barely having anything to do with the 1979 movie, so it might be of less interest.  But it's still a solid movie that doesn't quite come together for greatness, and worth watching.

Also, I think that this movie makes the AvP movies completely non-canonical.

J

What I'm Watching: Mother's Day 2012

Or is it 2010?  I'm really not sure, what with how long this movie got delayed.  I'll go with 2012, since the DVD finally found it's way into my hands.

ANYways.

I was obviously going to review this a few days ago, but since our newest in depth review went up that same day, I figured I would spare people.

Now, before diving in, I should note that I have never ever seen the original, but I know a little bit about it, and considering it was from Troma, I can kinda guess about what sort of quality it was.

That leaves me coming to this movie pretty fresh, and giving it a view on its own merits.  And on that front, you know what?  It is reeeally good.

The story centers around a group of friends riding out a tornado in the rather lavish basement game room that the owners of the house have made.  There are worse ways to wait for the tornados to pass, right?  Anyways, things go terribly wrong when three criminals, bank robbers from a botched job, come barging into the house...because it used to be theirs, and they missed the memo that the house was sold after a foreclosure.  Oops.

So, the Sohapi family, and their friends, end up the victims of a home invasion by the very insane Koffin family.  Hilarity ensues.

The rest of the movie is about the victims trying to escape, while the Koffins try and find out what happened to their house, their money, and how the heck they are going to walk away from this.

The acting in this is great.  Top notch performances from Rebecca DeMornay as Mother Koffin, Jaime King as Beth Sohapi, recovering from the loss of her son, and Frank Grillo as her husband.  All three are great, show good range, and really make you feel for them.  All the Koffin kids are great too, and you find yourself almost sympathising for them at times.  But then they go and stab people, so that sympathy is short lived.

There are some good twists to the story, some obvious and some not, but all handled well and make sense within the narrative.  You find yourself rooting for the victims to escape, and the few moments when they do get the upper hand are amazing, and I was almost cheering when they were taking out their captors, it was that satisfying.

This is...NOT a happy movie.  Holy crap it gets pretty dark.  Not Saw levels of torture porn dark, but there are some cringe-worthy moments that show just how wicked and twisted Mother Koffin is, and how much her family means to her.  So yeah, be ready for a ride into the darker places.

Everything comes together well at the end, and the final twist of the knife is good, even though it stays with the dark tone of the movie.  Like I said, it is not a happy movie, and it does not have a happy ending.

Another movie I highly recommend from Darren Bousman, and this is probably the better movie.  I prefer the story of 11-11-11, but this is simply better made, and closer to what Darren wanted.

J

What I'm Watching: The Divide

With just a few days before a new Triskanalysis to post, I thought I'd get in another quickie review or two.

First up, be sure to swing by my LJ for my review of The Avengers!

But enough superheroes, let's take a look at the post-apocalyptic bottle movie, The Divide.

The Divide centers around a group of people caught in a nuclear blast in New York City, and they make a run for it, but instead of getting out of the building, which likely would have been Very Bad Indeed, they instead force their way into the bomb shelter of their building's super down in the basement, much to his chagrin.  From there, things go from bad to worse.

Now, this is a typical example of a movie where you take a group of people as a representative microcosm of society, trap them with no way out, and watch as things utterly fall apart.  It's a tried and true formula to have fun with societal structures, maybe say something about humanity, and tell a good story about people.  I found myself thinking more and more about the movie Dogville while watching The Divide, and while there's no nuclear attack in the former, there are a fair amount of similarities between the two.  The nukes are really just an excuse to get these people in one place and then watch them devolve.  See also those classic experiments where people are split into guards and prisoners, and watch what happens.  THAT kinda thing.

There've been better versions of this sort of thing, but this setting does make it a little unique.  Sometimes it's a prison, sometimes it's a town, but here it's really just a few rooms.  It does not take long until the group is at each others throats, and fighting over whom the alpha dog will be.

Unfortunately, things get a little weird and uncomfortable about midway through, when everything is falling apart, and going from worse to WTF?  The cast is great, and they really are having fun playing with these crazy situations, although I have now seen Peter Petrelli do things I never thought I would, and quite frankly, don't think I wanted to see.

Things get a little weird for weirdness sake, although at the same time, with the right people, I can easily see something close to these events really playing out.  If things went truly wrong with the people who end up trapped in a bunker together trying to ride out a holocaust...there's some believability to the bizarreness.  But your mileage may vary.

Michael Biehn is amaaazing as the super, who is not happy at all to have his solitude invaded upon.  Milo Ventimiglia is great, even when things are getting weird, especially with him.  The whole cast is so very watchable, and put in good performances.  A lesser cast, and this movie would not have worked as well as it did.

The movie is well made, and although the geography gets a bit wonky from time to time, because they couldn't really build an entire, accurate bunker, it still works.  In a locked room like this, you really need a clear sense of where everything is.  But it's well shot, especially given that it is such a cramped space, and you're being asked to go along on this crazy ride.

But that weirdness can be such a turn off.  You think this movie is one thing, about these people maybe trying to figure out what happened, get out, get back in the world, but after the first act, it becomes about them just trying to survive themselves.  Which is a good story to tell too, but if you're not expecting that to be what you're going to watch, it can be a turn off.

I'd almost say the movie is worth watching for some of the cast alone, and if you like these small scale societal breakdown type stories, there are worse ones out there, and is worth seeing for fans of that.  Just be aware of what you're in for, get ready for some messed up imagery, and have fun!

And hey, it's still better than fucking Clown Hunt.

Also, yes, I have seen Dogville.  I *do* occasionally watch arty dramas!

J

What I'm Watching: 11-11-11

The movies, they never stop, do they?

Today's viewing pleasure is brought to us by Darren Lynn Bousman, the mastermind behind a handful of Saw movies and a few other flicks.

11-11-11 is NOT a Saw movie.  Not even close.  There's not even any blood in this movie.  It is way more plot driven than gore driven.  This is not spectacle, this is plot and character.

It is the story of an atheist writer, recovering from the loss of his wife and child, who gets slowly sucked into the world of the supernatural when he starts noticing recurring numbers in his life.  On top of all that, he is called back to Barcelona, Spain, where his father and brother still live.  Oh, and they're both priests.

The conspiracy behind the 11s grows, and slowly reveals a deeper world to Joseph than he ever imagined, and never believed in, all of it centering around his brother and the impending date in the title.

I hope Bousman somehow stumbles upon this review, because in his commentary he talked about how the movie was blasted, ill received, and just treated like crap, and for a lot of wrong reasons that the movie did not deserve.

But me?  I *loved* this movie.  Looooved.

I don't know if it's because I'm a writer, and an atheist myself, with his own numbers constantly haunting him, and thus could connect with the main character that much more, or I saw something others didn't, or I just got to see the completed movie, and not the half-edited, unfinished movie that went around the pirate sites and was reviewed long before this version was even released.  But this was a good movie.

Is it flawed?  Well, yeah.  You can see the budgetary problems if you look closely.  Or even not that closely.  The creatures are very dodgy, the script needed a bit of polish, but for the most part, sure.  It was a good ride.

Some of my fave stuff is how subtle this movie is.  There's no jump scares that I can remember right now, and most of the early scares in the movie are all in the background, and you see them out of the corner of your eye, or just for a second, just like Joseph.  It really drew me into the movie with just those brief glimpses you almost wonder if you saw what you think you saw.  They don't really scare you, they don't make you cringe, but they DO instill this sense of dread and impending doom, and I *really* liked how it was handled.

Another thing I liked, in the same subtle category, is towards the end of the movie.  Joseph is trying to get out of the infested home and save his brother.  The lights are out, vines are everywhere (Which is never adequately displayed, but still looked cool at times), and light/flashes start exploding in the walls.  With each burst and crackle, you catch JUST the barest hint of arcane symbology on the walls, and then they're gone.  It was a really cool effect, and I wasn't sure I was seeing it at first.

The story makes sense, the mysteries play fair, and it unfolds slowly over the course of the film, and even has something to say on the nature of faith.  I also probably had an affinity for the movie because it unfolded almost exactly how I hoped it would, and gave me answers in a most satisfying way.

The acting was rock solid for the main cast.  The creatures, not so much, but they don't have to be great actors, just stand around and look scary. ;)  Which they still had issues with, but I almost love the movie just as much for managing to pull off what they did with botched demons than I do for the actual quality of storytelling.

Also, this movie is a slow burn, that draws you in over the course of the first hour, before everything goes to hell.  And I love a good slow burn.  Just enough horrory goodness is mixed in during the start that you shouldn't be bored, and you really get to know the characters when the shit hits that fan, so you care what happens.

11-11-11 is well crafted for what it is, has a good story that holds up better than a lot of other movies, and while it IS flawed, due to so many factors, the fact that they made such a movie that ended up working so well against such restraints is amazing.

So yes, if by some quirk of fate Bousman comes across this; Hey!  SOMEone out there loved the crap out of this movie, and I highly recommend it to any horror fan.

J

What I'm Watching: Lockout

Happy May, Triskelions!

Got out last Thursday to go see the scifi actioner from Luc Besson, Lockout, before it disappeared to the video bins.

And it is a shame this movie is almost forgotten and disappeared so fast, because it was FUN.

It's not a great movie, it's flawed, but holy crap.  FUN.

Besson also did Fifth Element, and that's a good idea of what I mean.  There is a lot of bad in that movie, it is goofy, admit it.  Even those of us who love the movie, come on.  It is a total guilty pleasure, he said as a nod to his friend's site. ;)

The craziness of Fifth Element is not here though, they play it more straight, but it is still over the top and a bit ludicrous.  But so was Die Hard at times.

But you know what?  This movie was, you guessed it, FUN.

The basic plot of the movie is, in the future, we have started to put our prisoners on giant, orbital space stations where the inmates are kept in suspended animation for the time of their sentences.  Which is a scifi trope, but I never understood it.  The point of incarceration is, in part, to rehabilitate.  Now, you can argue the effectiveness of that, but doesn't basically putting someone to sleep so by their perspective they committed their crimes yesterday...antithetical to the whole idea?

But I digress, I just wanted to get that off my chest.  I guess for the hard core lifers, it would be a different story.  Back to the plot!

The president's daughter is visiting MS1, the premiere maximum security space station, to assess how the prisoners are reacting to the stasis, and if their brains are being melted in the process.  Due to a series of unforseen circumstances, shit goes wrong and the prisoner she is interviewing escapes and sets everyone else free.

Meanwhile on Earth, a man called Snow is busy trying to get out of being framed for killing a fellow secret agent.  That isn't going so well, and he's being sent to MS1 when the breakout happens, so they enlist Senor Badass to get the president's daughter out, so the space marines can go in and kick all kinds of ass.

And cue some kinda awesome scifi space station action.  It could be better, because there's only a few set pieces and the rest is your regular stalking around the halls trying not to get caught by the inmates, and punchy-time.  But what it does, it does well, even if sometimes it's pretty normal.

Guy Pearce is great as the confident, dickish Snow, trying to save the president's daughter is only secondary to him, and instead is more interested in clearing his name.  Of course, even if he doesn't manage that, having the President owe you one is never bad.

Maggie Grace is good as the daughter, Emilie, and she gives almost as good as she gets when put up against the asshat that comes to save her.  This easily could have been a whiny, cringey feminine roll, but she has some good moments, and has some spine to her.

There is one huge OH COME ON!! moment of disbelief, but for the most part, the movie feels grounded in reality, if not in precise science, and the grittiness really plays well against the over the top action and lunacy of just what we're watching.

Making Snow have his own goals, and have his own plot help give some meat to the movie's structure.  It isn't JUST a prison break out, there's more here, and the threads pull together well enough.  The breakout is not tied to Snow's personal mission, and that's as it should be.  Otherwise, it would be too coincidental.  Having the guy there who could maybe clear Snow's name is pushing it as is, so they played it smart to have these two threads running concurrently and crossing paths, but NOT being dependent on another.

The opening credits is one of the best I've seen, sets the tone for the entire movie perfectly of a blend of action and humour, and had me laughing right from the get go.  I was put at ease, welcomed into the movie, and couldn't wait for things to get rolling.

If you can find this movie hiding out in a theatre somewhere waiting to be stomped out by Avengers...there are worse ways you could kill an afternoon.  This movie was exactly what I wanted it to be, and I can't complain at it giving me a purely for entertainment movie.

J

What I'm Watching: Human Centipede 2

Ahhh, look at that, another post.

Oh god, another Human Centipede movie.

I'll admit, I...kinda like the original?  It's depraved, it's gross, but it's actually well made, there's a perverse sense of fun to it, and Doctor Heiter is still kinda awesomely evil.

So, what do I think of this second outing of depravity?

Well...it's about what you'd expect.

In fact, this is the movie I think everyone envisioned the original to be.  The original is Eww but not THAT bad, and it DOES have a story.  This one is everything everyone feared that first one would be, to some degree.

But ignoring the gore and violence and ick, how is it?  Well, the story is way more straightforward.  The villain this time out is not charismatic or anything like Heiter at all, by design.  He's silent, he's fat, he's creepy looking in the bad way, and just all together deplorable.  It's tough to really get behind him, but I like Martin in different ways than Heiter.  They're both foul characters, but fun to watch in their own ways.  Martin is a distant second though.

This film is loaded with black humour.  It takes the piss of the entire Human Centipede concept, and the criticism, and plays with them, and there's something there I like.  I love black humour, and it is all deliberate here, and SO over the top.  It is a good undercut to the sheer horror of what's on screen.

I like that the movie takes the criticism and fears of the original, the fears of all protective groups that say people will watch something and try to emulate it in the real world, and goes full on with that idea.  I don't think the story *quite* pulled itself together though, and it does get a bit repetitive with 2/3rds of the movie centering around Martin clubbing 12 people over the head with a crowbar to make his collection.  Yet at times, there's such an interesting quality to Martin, it's watchable in SOME entertaining way.  But it does drag a bit.

And that also leads to one of THE most hilarious scenes, that of Martin running around mostly naked save for a lab coat in a wide, overhead shot, hitting each and every one of his subjects with the crowbar as a means of anesthesia.  It is So over the top, and just keeps going for each and every person in one long shot.  I cracked up at the absurdity of the moment.

But all that being said, this IS a disturbing movie.  There are more disturbing movies out there, but this movie doesn't hold much back.  I mean, it's about 12 people being stapled together ass to mouth.  That's not a comfortable place to sit.

I liked this one, but nowhere near as much as the original, but it has its moments.  But much like the original, I can't recommend it, because who the hell would WANT to watch this, besides me?  And the Cinema Snob.

Also of note is one of the actresses returning from the first movie, but playing herself, since this movie takes place in the realish world.  Martin takes his obsession with the first movie to such a degree that he wants to add Ashlynn to the REAL Human Centipede he wants to make, and tricks her agent into thinking he's making a movie and wanting her to audition.  Ashlynn shows up playing the typical spoiled, clueless, stereotype of an actress that is so totally oblivious that she does not notice anything amiss until Martin conks her on the head with his crowbar.  It's a fun scene, and I love that she played that sort of character.  It was a nice bit of humour.

As for the ending...I have no idea what to make of it, but I won't spoil it, since it is something I think each person has to decide for themselves.  I have about three different competing theories I change every hour.

So yeah...if you liked the first, maybe catch this one on rental.  Everyone else with good sense and taste, stay away.  Ew. ;)

J

What I'm Watching: Modus Operandi

While we're all waiting for the next big review, I thought I'd share some thoughts on another movie I recently watched, Modus Operandi.

Yeah, you probably haven't heard of it.

In short, it is yet another grindhouse style film about a secret agent who has fallen into a drunken stupor following the death of his wife at the hands of his rivals.  But as circumstance and narrative design would have it, he gets pulled back into the spy game to track down a pair of briefcases containing sensitive informaton about a Presidential hopeful.

This movie NAILS the grindhouse style.  It was shot on Super 8, it has the requisite bad acting, and a few bits of good acting that aren't SO good that they stand out, but they are clearly having fun with this format.  Naturally, Danny Trejo as Cashay's boss is brilliant.  Everything you would expect from an over the top grindhouse exploitation film is in here.  In fact, it's almost not fair to call this a grindhouse homage.  It may as well have fallen straight out of the 70s.  This IS a grindhouse movie, made in the 21st century.

Which kinda lets you know it's not very *good* doesn't it?

The movie is slow, it's padded, and it has some random arty BS that really threw me out of the movie.  If they left the arthouse rotting fruit shots and such out, it would be okay, but they really feel like they are there to scream, "Look!  We're clever!"  But they are few and far between enough that they don't hurt the movie THAT much.  But they are there.

The story itself sounds okay, but it's presented very straightforward, in a convoluted way.  They just kinda do their thing, do what needs to be done, and its done.  But there are so many bits and pieces along the quest to get the briefcases back, that it somehow manages to be simple and complex all at once.

Now, the last ten minutes is really good, great over the top craziness, and more amazing Trejo.  But by this point, Cashay's quest for revenge has been completed, and it really feels like a tagged on scene for more gore and violence (Which isn't necessarily BAD, mind you...) and to give Trejo and others more to do, since they have some level of star power.  It just feels odd as an additional scene, especially since Cashay's role in it is over, and this is partly his story.

I will say, I have reached my limit on movies being called grindhouse homages and such, and we let that be an excuse for a film to be terrible.  Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't.  Drive Angry got the fun, the tone, and the over the top craziness of grindhouse right, without being badly made.  This movie has all the style, all the badness, and only half the charm of something like Drive Angry.

But it's fun, I liked some big parts of it, REALLY liked the music, and the directing wasn't half bad either.  But the deliberate choice to make it awful, and make it awful in such an exacting way, I think detracts from the movie.  Still, it's only about an hour and change long, and that is just about the right length, even with some of the padding.  Any longer would have been too much, and any shorter would have been a mess of storytelling.  In fact, even at this length, this movie almost goes that route

Still, I'd say it is at least worth a rental or streaming on Netflix or whatever.  If you like it, I say definitely grab the DVD then, since it has a good bunch of interviews and commentary.  I definitely want to rewatch it, since I think this movie will grow on me as I understand it more.

Modus Operandi, the best grindhouse movie of 2011.  The ONLY real grindhouse movie of 2011.

And hey.  It's still better than fucking Clown Hunt.

J

What I'm Watching: Clown Hunt

Or, what I wish I never watched.

Let that sink in.  A movie I wish I had never watched.

Clown Hunt...  Oh, Clown Hunt.  What can I say about this movie?

Not much, really, because there isn't much TO it.  The joke is in the title; rednecks in the brush hunting clowns.

Why?  Who knows.

Now, normally, you might not even care, if the movie was at least entertaining enough, but not this movie, ohhhh no.

The movie started off entertainingly enough.  It jars you with some hip hop song about the awesomeness of killing clowns.  Okay, that makes me smile.  There's some weirdness setting up the idea which is again fun enough, but the promise of those first five minutes is quickly wasted and forgotten.

There just is not much I can say about this movie.  There isn't much to it!  A bunch of rednecks go out to hunt clowns, because that's socially acceptable for no readily explained reason, and THAT IS IT.  That is the entire movie.  Rednecks hunting clowns.  Until the clowns get armed and hunt back.

The movie can't be bothered to really set up or explain the fiction of its own universe, and we are just supposed to accept that hunting clowns is okay, and just something people do.  They treat clown hunting like any other animal hunting, treat the clowns like animals, there's different hunting seasons...but they're clowns!  They're people!  They can stop being clowns!  Can't they?  Well, obviously they can, since some regular people are closeted clowns, and sometimes go clown and join the tribe and...this just makes zero sense after only a second of thought.  They could have come up with something here, but they just can't be bothered.

During the course of the movie, which claims to be 90 minutes but the run time doesn't even go an hour ten, people keep making that old joke we probably all know about "How come we don't eat clowns?  Because they taste funny!"  Part of me is SO sure that the makers of this movie were familiar with that joke, and thought, "Yeah!  What if we DID eat clowns?  What if we hunted them??"  That's a good germ of an idea, except when you have the people in the movie making the joke, it doesn't make sense.  Because they're now hunting clowns!  AND eating them!  It's like a deer hunter making jokes about not hunting, killing, and eating deer, while he's building the fire to do just that.  It makes no sense.

There was a chance for this movie, they could have gone the route of political or social satire, building a universe around clown hunting, and using it to comment on our own love of hunting, and you almost start to think they're going to go there based on those first few minutes.  There are protestors not unlike animal rights activists, there's some illicit activity going on that makes it seem like there is a downside to hunting...but it is quickly tossed aside, like everything else in this movie, to watch people hunt clowns for an hour.  THAT IS IT.

Clown Hunt is summed up by two thoughts; First, a bunch of wasted opportunity with an idea that could have actually gone somewhere.  And second, it just makes no sense.  If they had done something, ANYthing with the idea, maybe it could have justified a 90 minute run time, but as it stands, they can't even justify a single hour.

And if my opinion just isn't enough, go watch Cinema Snob's review, which pretty much echoes all my thoughts.  Or I echo his, for things I didn't explicitly say.

I didn't even get around to mentioning the clown rape.  As in, rape by a clown.  I have now witnessed a man raped by a clown.  This is not something my brain can undo easily.

Fucking clown shoes, man...

J

What I'm Watching: Killer Movie

Needed to clear some space on the DVR tonight, so I dug into the backlog of movies waiting on it, and decided to watch a little something I grabbed randomly called, Killer Movie.

On the surface, this sounds like something perfect for me.  A television crew goes to a small town in the middle of nowhere to make a reality television show about the high school hockey team's first chance at winning a championship in 100 years...and instead get sucked into a murder mystery.

Surprisingly, this was not filmed in a found footage style.  I wonder if that might have helped the narrative, but at the same time, welcome it being just a regular movie.

Things started off strongly enough, with the town having a huge Twin Peaks vibe with the town being very prone to 'accidents', and everyone just kind of accepting it, and being just a hair weird.  But while it evoked that other more famous town, I don't think things were weird enough.  And the point of there being a lot of 'accidents' in this town is never explained.

Another strength of the movie is that they do sometimes dip into reality tv tropes with into the camera interviews with the 'crew' of the movie.  This adds an extra dimension to things, and allows them to make commentary on events and give insights that might otherwise be heavy handed exposition.  They have some real fun with this, especially in the end credits where they actually use the device to address seeming plot holes!  That was clever, and saved the movie a little.

The cast really shines.  There's a lot of modern day recognisable faces, and if you've spent much time watching any current shows, you will likely recognise more than a few people, and none of them phone in their performances.  They give better performances than this movie really deserves.  Even Leighton Meester, who is only in this for a whopping fives minutes, doesn't cheap out and give a half-assed performance for her likely single day of shooting.  Paul Wesley, Nestor Carbonell, Kaley Cuoco...all of them do good jobs, and it was a real treat just to watch them all have fun and do a good job.

It is a shame though that they were given such a bland script.  Bland really is the word for it.  There's really no surprises.  The killer is pretty obvious from the moment you see him.  I do like the visual of the killer in disguise, and it kept making me think of Nail Gun Massacre's killer, who may have been weird and lame, but had a striking visual.  There were a number of good, fun kills at least, with some good blood, although nothing crazy or special, but they were decently creative.

But aside from some creative use of interviews and good deaths, the script is pretty much a standard slasher fare.  No matter how good the performances are, you've seen the core of this movie before.  And while you can usually see why certain characters and types and plots were used the way they were, this movie is...less of that.  It seemed like the writer just wanted to write characters on a Hollywood tv crew because those are the sorts of people he knew, and he didn't quite know what to do with them in this setting.

The movie bends over backwards to get a Hollywood starlet into the cast by having her wanting to study directing by being a PA for this production, which was done with such backbreaking bending of plot, if it hadn't been sold by such a solid cast, I don't think it would have worked at all.  Wesley's frustration at being dragged to this small town to direct this show, being tricked into accepting the starlet as his intern, and then getting sucked into secretly making the show be about the murders is well done, and goes a long way to making this plot believable and not contrived.  They never quite pull it off, but they do the best they could.

So, the movie isn't perfect, it's not original in its plot, but the character types aren't often seen, and it's an interesting combination of dropping the typical Hollywood machine into small-town America without its cell service, internet access, or Starbucks.  They could have done a lot more with the fishes out of water, and had more fun with the idea, but just didn't quite go far enough to make it stand out.

It's not bad, but it is ultimately a bland movie you've seen before, if told in a slightly different way, with a way better cast than it deserves.  Certainly not a wasted 90 minutes if you see it on the cable box one night, especially if you're a fan of any of these actors, but not a must own.

I liked it, it made me smile, and there was no major OH COME ON!! plot moments, so I can't complain too much.  It's a slightly different movie that just isn't different enough, sadly.

J

What I'm Watching: Silent House

Yeah yeah, I know, where's the review posts?  I'm getting to them!  Someday!  I'm in the midst of a full Trisking review, and took a break to hit up the theatres before Silent House was eaten up by the Hunger Games.

So, Silent House!

If you haven't heard, this movie is...well, no one cares about the plot.  They care about the gimmick.  That being the plan to make this movie look like it was filmed in one long take.  They did some clever edits so sections were only ten minutes long or so, and if you're vigilant, there are some obvious points where the edits must have been made.  I've seen some complaints that the movie is a fraud, and should have been one long take, but c'mon.  They got the effect down.  There was no need to REALLY do it in one long take.  Leaving room for real edits let them take a breather, reset, and wouldn't blow the ENTIRE movie if someone flubbed a line at the 80 minute mark.  I am more than pleased with the results.  You get stuck with one character through pretty much the entire thing as the movie plays out in real time, the terror ramping up, and when characters leave the frame, you have NO idea what they're doing or what might happen.  It is an intriguing experiment, and I felt it really worked for this movie.  Being stuck with Sarah, going through what she goes through really makes for a different experience.

Now, the *actual* plot.  Sarah, her father, and uncle, are at her childhood vacation home, and cleaning the place up to finally sell it, and things start to go wrong and get creepy and weird.  I'm not going to get into spoilers, because even though the big twist revelation might be a bit obvious, at the same time I really liked how it was handled.  Because it's all one take, there are no flashbacks, there's no real room for villainous solliloquies, you literally have to get what is going on in a few quick moments.  They don't hit you over the head with it, and once it all clicks, it is a mostly satisfying, "OH!" moment.  Not so much out of surprise, but out of just working, and actually making sense with the hints dropped during the previous 75 minutes.  The movie works because of it's subtlety.

The cast was amazing.  No, check that.  Elizabeth Olsen is AMAZING.  The others are pretty good too.  She really makes you feel for Sarah's plight, which is good since the camera is on her for the entire movie, and you have to be in her corner for this entire film.  She's believable, she gives good scaredy face, and she is not uneasy on the eyes.  *cough*

I have a few nits to pick, and would like some more chances to see the movie again, but for the most part, I gotta say it was good.  An afternoon well spent.  I'd say go see it if you could, but now you must wait for the DVD.

My biggest disappointment is that the marketing felt like it was going to be a bit more supernatural, and things turn out to be a bit more human in nature, yet still off the beaten path.  It's like the marketing for Red Eye all over again.

I quite loved how the entire thing was shot.  Almost all the lighting is done with source lighting, as far as I could tell.  Lanterns, candles, flashlights, what light leaks through the boarded up windows.  Which I love the exposition dump that vandals smashed all the windows, so they all had to be boarded up, so as to not have outside lighting interfering with trying to fake a single take.  There's also some nice metaphor worked in with the house itself, as there's a mold infestation that is eating it away from the inside out.

J

What I'm Watching: Chillerama

I am SO sorry I have been WAY too lazy with these posts lately.  I've got a lot to catch up on, and for the time being, I'll be doing a bunch of these seperately, because a single post would just be too huge at this point.  The good news for you, fellow Philes, is that this means a lot of content in the next month!  The bad news is, they're movies that are long gone in some cases.

I was going to do this movie in its own post anyways, since it is two hours long, which isn't so special, but it is also four seperate stories in an anthology format, and each one really does deserve to be talked about.

First up though, overall, I really, trult LOVED Chillerama.  This movie is done in exactly the same spirit as this very site.  The anthology is a send up, and yet lovingly embraces, all the tropes of cheesy horror movies from the 60s-80s.  This was one of the single most enjoyable experiences in this genre in a long time.  Some of my friends will tell you I wouldn't shut up about this thing.

But it is not without problems.  Let's dive into each of the four segments, starting with Wadzilla.

After the movie starts off with a great wrapping story set in a drive in set to be closed down and paved over, they start playing Wadzilla, a hilariously disgusting sendup of 1950s radioactive monster movies.  Starring a sentient sperm going crazy.

My biggest problem here is the sheer disgustingness.  Now, I have no problem with disgusting content.  I *have* watched Human Centipede, after all.  But the copious use of fake sperm and semen did get to me after awhile.  But aside from that, the short is decent.  The humour is good, the style is spot on, and I especially love the extra work they did to add grain and make the colour wrong, like an old, poorly made movie.  They even did terribly horrible garbage mattes around people for cheap rotoscoping.  A spot on homage to the style and storytelling of this sort of movie.  Just a bit on the icky side.

Next up after a return to the drive in, is I Was a Teenage Werebear.  You can guess what this is sending up.  But it also takes from that same era, musicals.  Yes, a musical horror story.  Which isn't unheard of, but can be tough to pull off, and in all honesty, I don't think this one quite managed to do it either.  The story was okay, but the music got in the way.  However, I loved the music!  The songs were catchy, I *still* find myself humming them, it's just the two didn't quite mesh together for a solid whole.  Good, but not a home run.

Third on the all-night marathon was, quite frankly, the best of the four; The Diary of Anne Frankenstein.  OH my gods.  Such a brilliantly simple pun idea, and it even works to say that the Frankenstein family changed their name to Frank.  But the setup is incidental to the utter insanity here.  The story is done all in *ahem* German.  Except for Hitler.  He kinda speaks German, and it starts out that you THINK he's speaking real German, but as things go on and on, and things get increasingly insane, you realise the actor is just making shit up.  Most notably once his commands become Star Wars characters.  Definitely not German.  This seems like it might be an insanely offensive idea, and there are some cringey moments, but it is just SO over the top, so crazy, and mocks Hitler so much, that it somehow sidesteps all the potential controversy.  Brilliant.

Before the final story, it is worth noting that they tried to do a fake out with a fourth movie done in one of those arty horror films, with just piles of shit being flung around, and it made me cringe almost more than Wadzilla.  I'm glad it wasn't the actual fourth movie.

Instead, we return to the wrapping story at the drive-in, and it becomes a full on homage to zombie movies, appropriately called Zom-B-Movie.  The whole wrapper was a great, loving nod to the old drive in culture, which is sadly almost disappeared now.  There is some great nods to Orson Welles and how movies have changed from being just popcorn entertainment to be shamelessly enjoyed, to money making machines, and an awesome scene with the owner of the drive in hitting rock bottom and almost comitting suicide, but then manning up, and arming up, to take down the zombie horde.  He spouts SO many classic lines from horror and other genre flicks, that you will surely miss some.  I was practically on my feet cheering.  And much like Wadzilla's style, while this section of the anthology was mostly filmed to look 'real', once someone in the movie realised that they were living a movie, there was a jump in the frames, and the film became grainier, and more theatrical, less real.  So very meta, much like the entire Zom-B-Movie segment, which I loved and appreciated.  It was a great way to tie the anthology together, and wrap things up, making it more than just those interstitial segments.

So overall, Chillerama gets a HUGE recommendation from me.  This was pure enjoyment, and anyone who is a fan of the movies on this site, should watch it.  It made me so nostalgic for those sorts of movies, and the drive in, which was always an experience I did not get to partake in enough.  There's a few bits that don't quite work, but in a two hour movie, a few minutes of stumbling is not bad at all.

I eagerly await and hope there's a sequel someday.

J

What I'm Watching: Late November

And away we go with more movies!

A little off the beaten path from our usual fair, but with a reputation of badness, I finally got a chance to see the Hitman movie adaptation.  Now, I am NOT a player of the games.  I have Hitman 2, played it a little, but never quite got into it, so I am vaguely familiar with the property, but not intimately.  I felt they got a lot right, and it was a fun story, with an ok cast.  I *liked* Olyphant's 47, and the movie was fun, but not great.  The biggest problem was the needlessly complex plot that wndered all over the place for very little reward.  Way better than I'd heard, but I can see how fans would be more pissed than I was.  Don't seek it out, but if you stumble across it, what the hey.

Speaking of poorly received adaptations, hello Green Lantern!  A lot of the same things I said about Hitman apply here.  Not as bad as you may have heard, an ok cast, a lot they got right, but it ended up not gelling right.  If anything, the plot could have used a little MORE complexity.  In reality, it's biggest crime was coming out in the same year as Captain America, Thor, and X-Men: First Class.  Sucks to be you, Hal Jordan.  It needed some work, and comes off as a pretty basic story, but an ok comicbook movie that is better than some, worse than most.  Thoroughly average with a good cast.  Go watch the new cartoon instead. ;)

Somewhat horror like is a movie I have NO idea what I feel about it.  Yeah, Red State is one of those.  Kevin Smith tells the story of a group of teens that run afoul of some very religious folk, and how horribly, HORRIBLY wrong things go.  I love Kevin Smith, and this is SO different from his normal type of movie.  And that is a good thing.  The cast is simply amazing, and the preacher steals the entire freaking show.  But Kevin almost wanted to make three different movies, as three stages of this one larger film, and I don't think everything came together quite as well as he would have liked.  That said, it's better than Cop Out, and probably some of Smith's best directing as the camera does more than just sit there, with the aforementioned astounding cast, I just...don't know what to make of it.  This movie is likely going to get a cult following, and could grow on me over time, it's just so not cohesive upon that first viewing, because it goes all over the place, deliberately.  Just as you find your footing, it veers elsewhere.  And I *like* that, but it makes it hard to get a handle on this movie!  Worth seeing just to form your own opinion.

I have a new favourite found footage movie; Grave Encounters.  Now, I still love the Paranormal Activity movies, but GE gets SO much right.  It is genuinely spooky.  It is the best excuse for a found footage movie so far, using the current glut of Ghost Hunter shows as its premise to follow a group of tv people making that sort of show in a genuinely haunted asylum.  And shit goes way the hell wrong.  Where most found footage movies hold their scares, and only do minor little things, this movie is VERY in your face, and it had me twitching by the end of it.  Really, really enjoyed it.

Meanwhile on tv, there's American Horror Story, a new horror show on FX, that uses their more adult themes to the fullest, and doesn't hold many punches.  The very first episode left me cold, and didn't click for me, but the show has gotten better with each episode, and the Halloween two parter was the best yet.  It's the story of a family moving into a new home in LA, that has a long, storied, and bloody history.  Cue the ghosts that won't leave them alone.  I'm not sure how the hell it can really last as a lengthy series, but for now I enjoy the ride.

Also there's one of two fairy tale inspired shows, Grimm.  I still haven't watched the other one yet, give me time!  But this one is about a detective who learns he is the latest in a long line of hunters of fairy tale creatures, and he must protect normal people from them.  It's a little Supernatural, a little Buffy, and...since I just watched the first episode, only a little ok.  The plot is ok, it has some mildly interesting stuff, but seems to be trying too hard to shove its cleverness down our throats.  And the final clue that leads them to the Big Bad Wolf trying to kill Red Riding Hoods is so mind numbingly stupid, it almost made me throw my remote at the tv.  I hope it gets better, but that one moment almost ruined the entire show for me.

And finally, if you want to see my review of In Time, which I will say I kinda loved, swing over to my LiveJournal and read many more in depth thoughts than, "Yay good!"

WHEW!  Ok, that mostly catches me up, and clears the deck for our post-Thanksgiving review, and for the massive December plans I've got brewing.

Happy holidays!

J