Triskaidekafiles is a love letter to cheesy cinema from the 80s and 90s, with the occasional dip into other eras.  if you're a fan of MST3K, Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, or just bad horror movies in general, Trisk is the place for you.

What I'm Watching: Cloned - The Recreator Chronicles

Today on, "Movies no one has ever heard of..."  it is Cloned: The Recreator Chronicles!

Like most random movies, it was the trailer of this that caught my eye.  I saw the name, it sounds sciencey, and there's always fun stuff there, so I watched the trailer.  That was decent, and looked well made, AND there was the bonus of John deLancie!  Yep, Q from Star Trek: TNG wandered into this.

That was really all I needed to put this over from a strong maybe to a gotta see.

Cloned is about a trio of young adults heading off to a camping trip in the Adirondacks of upstate New York, to spend one last fun night together before one of them gets shipped off with the armed forces.

Once they make their way to their remote island, they find a home there.  One thing leads to another, and mostly thanks to a storm they take cover indoors.  The owners of the house return in the morning, chasing off their trio of Golidlocks.

Then things take a turn for the worst when the trio stumble upon a pair of dead bodies; duplicates of the people chasing them.  When the clone owners have the kids try and dispose of their originals' bodies, they are fortunately saved by more clones, their own clones.

So yeah, that is one lengthy set up.

Once the clones enter the scene, things really pick up.  The movie is nicely paced, with spending a good chunk of the first act introducing us to the three kids, then that opening twist that could have just as easily been a home 'invasion' gone wrong that then introduces clones, that then introduces MORE clones...  Yeah, fun stuff there.

The thing with the clones is that they're faster, stronger, smarter, and basically better in every way.  And they all know it.  They see themselves as superior, and want to be the ones to live, replacing the inferior originals.  Usually, it's the clones that are inferior, so it's a nice change up.

The actors do a good job of making the originals and clones different.  That can be a VERY tricky thing for actors, and they do a great job.  You never get confused about which is which, unless they want you to be confused.  Their personalities are distinct, and unique, so basically each person is playing two different characters.

Problems begin to arise when the plot tries to give us backstory, and I don't think it quite achieved that part of storytelling.  They drop bits and pieces here and there, and the narrative never really clicked.  I would've liked a little more time spent with the exposition, but when that takes away from the main focus, that does become problematic.  So it wasn't exactly my favourite way to get the story out, it's understandable why it went that way.

But the cast definitely carries the story through, and it is a fun journey watching both group fight for survival.  The originals wanting to live to continue living, and the dupes wanting their chance at life because they feel they're better.  If not for the clones being a bit homicidal, you can almost feel for them.

Naturally, the clones have the advantage, and since they are clearly on the stabby side, you want the originals to live.  But being the underdogs, the question becomes how, and will everyone make it out alive?  They find some good ways to make it believable that the originals can win, mostly due to being more knowledgable of the world than the clones.  The clones are smarter, but more naive in a way, and less aware of treachery.

Unsurprisingly, not everyone gets out alive, and the movie has a very nice, very dark twist to it, that both really wowed me at just how twisted it was, and made me shake my fist at the screen.  Overall, Cloned was a solid little movie that was a fun ride.  It ended up being very light on the John deLancie, and there's never really any threat from "The Recreator" like the back of the box warns, but oh well.  Taken for what it is, it's worth watching.

Whew, I made it through the entire review without mentioning the clones were created from DNA samples aquired via the home's septic system and were thus pooplicates.